Nia Dark and Lovely, a Black Escort in London

I have my view on naming and shaming which I have talked about here.

The confidentiality issue is tricky which is demonstrated here.

Some clients in Canada are challenging a website that has their details on it, as bad clients.

They claim the information on the site is false.

Can anyone tell me which client in their right mind, will admit to bad behaviour ie stealing from an escort, raping an escort, or physically assaulting an escort?

There is a possibility that an escort could lie about this, but I have not come across any, in the entire time that I have been escorting.

What do you think?

Labels: Escorts, globeandmail.com, Naming and shaming, News, security

I had a booking yesterday with a difficult client. He sounded well mannered over the phone. I did my checks, and everything was okay.

We sat down, had a drink, and he swiftly took off his clothes. I asked for payment upfront, and he claimed he did not know what my rates were.

I told him what they were,and he said he intended to stay for just under half an hour, and wanted to pay less. I told him that was not possible. I had felt uncomfortable from the start, but thought that things might change.

Well, this man had made an assumption that I was a submissive. I was not comfortable with his requests and told him so.

I have my limits. He made every attempt to ignore my policies and procedures.

I asked him to leave, as I was not comfortable, and gave him some of his money back.

I came away feeling that my preference is to see clients that I have seen before.

Labels: Black escort, London, security, Thoughts

I think this is fabulous. The Aphrodite Project, have created some shoes, that have an inbuilt security alarm and GPS, for hookers.

The shoes are a protection device.

I wonder whether there are any available in the UK yet?

Have a good weeek.

Labels: Hookers, News, security, The Aphroditeproject.tv, Trendhunter.com

Some escorts in Toronto are tightening their security measures, after two recent murders. Security is essential for every escort out there. They have had to resort to a system called Capture and Send.

Sex worker Shemale Dee was one of those who felt the need to act to protect herself and others. "I was a good friend of Cassandra's. We had known her for about 13 years and basically because of what has happened just recently, and having always been concerned with safety myself, I approached some software, security and systems people," she says. "I told them about the business we are in and how we do business and everything else, and wanted to do some brainstorming with them about the most ideal, easiest-to-use, easiest-to-implement system that would offer the biggest stick, the most amount of security."

What Dee and those computer people came up with is a system they call Capture and Send, which uses a camera that fits into the peephole on the door to an apartment to take a picture of clients before they come into the apartment and sends it to the owner's computer and to remote locations (friends' computers or a central image-vault service) as an encrypted file for storage. The files are stored off-site so that clients who may get out of line cannot just steal a computer to destroy the evidence; they're encrypted with a code so that only the sex worker and whomever she gives it to (a lawyer, a family member) can access the photographs. If nothing goes wrong, clients should have no serious concerns about the future of the image because it is, after all, just a picture of them standing in a hallway.

"So there's a lot of thought in the process. When I go to the door, let's say for example, buddy comes to the door and I want to let him in. I've sent the images to a dozen friends and on my door I have a little warning saying 'premises under surveillance.' So they know ahead of time what they're dealing with. And when I go to the door, I crack open the door -- I still have a steel bar that doesn't allow anyone to push their way past me -- so I'm still within my safe territory, and if they say 'Hey, I have a problem with the whole security issue,' then I say 'I'm sorry I can't do business with you.' And that's still from the safe side of the door. If I decide to let them in, and he decides to get a little testy and out of line, I'm able to tell him 'Hey, you've been warned at the door, and you can see that a security system is in effect and your picture has been sent to a dozen of my friends before you even came in here. So I suggest you leave' -- 99.9 per cent of the people in that situation would likely leave. I'm convinced that if Cassandra had had this system and she had said that to her attacker, he would have probably left."

Dee has been operating the system in her own home for a month, and says it's working well and that none of her clients has complained about it. She's marketing it to others in the business for $1,000.

Sardonicus, who used to work as a driver for escorts before setting up his website, is founding an organization called the Toronto Escort Alliance Marketing Service (TEAMS), which he says will provide several safety features for women in addition to helping them advertise their services, such as a business line that cannot be traced to the worker's home address and can be forwarded to their cell or home phone. One service he'll provide for no charge to any independent prostitute is something he calls "call safe": "They can call the hotline and provide the information of where they're going, how long they're going to be, when they plan to come out. We'll then call them out of that call -- which gives the impression they have someone watching out for them, and if we haven't heard from them by the appointed time we will follow up and exercise due diligence and bring in the authorities if need be. If we can't get a hold of that girl, we're calling the cops," he says.

Other safety measures that should be standard practice for prostitutes are being reinforced in the wake of the violence. Those working in incall agency apartments are advised never to work alone. (Lien Pham worked in such an apartment and under normal circumstances would have had a co-worker in the apartment with her. Her break with routine proved fatal.) Those working outcalls should always tell someone they trust the location and phone number of where they're going, who they're going to see and how long they expect to be there. All sex workers are advised to screen their clients, to be sure to get a working phone number and to verify that the number they've been given is listed to who the client says he is.

In addition, sex workers' organizations run by current and former prostitutes such as Maggie's and SWAT provide bad date lists and other safety information, and TERB provides an electronic bulletin board where workers can post messages and share information.



Quotes from Turn on the hookercam by Edward Keenan of Eye weekly.

None of Dee's clients have complained about this. If I were in her shoes, I would be wary of any clients who had a problem with it. I have CCTV at my incall location, and would not work without it.

Labels: Escorts, Eyeweekly.com, News, Prostitutes, Resources for Prostitutes, security, The Escort Industry

I have just started reading Blink by Malcom Gladwell It was lying on the bookshelf, and I thought I might give it a try, after Mandy's interview.

Malcolm Gladwell talks about the decisions that we make in split seconds, and the conclusions that we make. He explores when snap decisons are good, and when they are not.

As an escort, I take notice of my first impressions and have been proved wrong in some cases. The job involves a high level of risk, and I do not want to be left vulnerable. It is important to make quick decisions to verify my clients, and avoid timewasters.

My security is essential, as I do not want to end up sleeping with the enemy.

I listen to the way potential clients speak to me, and evaluate them when we meet, as I want to avoid obsessive clients.

I sometimes get it wrong, however in most cases those snap decisions are useful, and have served me well.

I imagine that clients thin slice, to avoid bait and switch escorts, and escorts who rob them.

Labels: Black escort, books, Malcolm Gladwell, security, Thoughts

A man who was involved in the robberies of massage parlours, which I mentioned here has been convicted.

The judge praised the bravery of the women involved.

Defending Linton, John King said Linton was from a stable and supportive home, but had fallen in with the wrong crowd.

"These women decided to stand up for themselves, whatever society thinks of them."
Judge Shani Barnes

He said: "He was under the influence of Fuller. He was to some extent afraid of him and felt pressurised."

Mr King explained that Linton had occasionally worked with his father in the construction industry, and that he had musical talent, having produced a demo to send to the record label EMI.

He said: "He appears to have had some money problems because the music was not going as well as it should have been."

But Judge Shani Barnes said Linton should have taken responsibility for his situation, rather than preying on vulnerable women.

She said: "There is no doubt that those responsible created an atmosphere of fear among the women over many, many months.

"These women decided to stand up for themselves, whatever society thinks of them. They are entitled to the protection of the law. I found them courageous and brave."

Linton pleaded guilty to conspiracy to rob on the first day of that trial, after earlier being found guilty of manslaughter of Norman Delopp in Croydon and conspiracy to rob at another trial.

Linton was sentenced to 13 years in February for the manslaughter and conspiracy to rob and is now appealing the guilty verdict.

Quotes from Judge praises prostitutes' bravery by Lisa Williams of This is Local London.


I hope that other women in this situation feel able to do this.

Labels: News, Prostitutes, security, Sexworkers, This is Local London

There are some men who visit escorts who believe because they are paying, they have the right to do what they like with escorts.

When I meet a client, I tend to have some idea of what his expectations of our time together are. He has an idea of what my limitations are.

During our meeting, I have the right to say no, if I feel uncomfortable. If a client is too rough with me, banging into my cervix, and likely to cause internal injuries, then things are brought to an end.

I had a friend call me yesterday who runs an agency. She told me something that I found disturbing. Fortunately, the escort refused to go along with this request, and left.

This may not always be the case. Some escorts put up with unacceptable behaviour, because they may be desperate, naive, or are not getting enough work. In some cases the undesirable creatures that they see, threaten to write negative reviews.

They may be faced with irresponsible reviewing if they go along with it.

Most of these guys believe if they pull the negative review card, the escort will comply.

College call girl has a similar story here.

Labels: Black escort, College call girl, Escort Reviews, Escorts, security

Recommendations are not unusual in the escort industry. I have had escorts give their clients my number, and I have done the same.

I had a client who recommended me to a number of friends in his office. I realised what had happened, when I suddenly had a number of lawyers working in the same firm visit me, in one month.

Sadly, a client may behave himself with me, and could be a monster when he visits my friend. I recognise that I have no control over this, whatsoever.

I usually have no problem recommending anyone, because nothing has ever gone wrong.

I have just read Joanne's post on stalkers, and I would hate to think that I ever recommended a client, who became a stalker.

Here are my views on obsessive clients

Clearly, if I knew that the clients I recommended were stalkers, I would not recommend them. I can only hope that things will be okay, when I make recommendations.

Have a good week!

Labels: Black escort, Joanne of Leeds, London, security

Security is essential for all escorts. It is important that someone or several people know where you are, when you meet clients.For those who provide Incall Cctv cameras, are essential too.

A man accused of posing as a client to steal earnings from prostitutes around Kingston has gone on trial.

Daniel Fuller, 25, from Clifton Road, South Norwood, stands accused of conspiracy to rob on 16 occasions from June to December 2005.

He also faces a charge of possession of an imitation firearm with intent to commit a crime and a further charge of blackmail.

He said Fuller targeted discreet "massage parlour" operations in quiet suburban areas where typically there would be one working girl and one receptionist.

Mr Millett told the jury the robberies were carried out by Fuller, who would phone the parlours' receptionist to make an appointment, but on arriving would say he had to leave immediately.

When the door was opened for him to leave he would be joined by one or two other men who would help him to take cash and mobile phones from the sex worker and receptionist.

Mr Millett said: "The men robbing them were not on a moral mission to clean up prostitution, but to make a profit from what they saw as easy, vulnerable targets."

The court heard that, spurred on by a succession of robberies which gained the men around £150 cash and mobile phones each time, Fuller went on to demand one woman for a weekly payment of cash.

Mr Millett said: "By December 2005 Fuller decided he would start a protection racquet by blackmailing owners into providing him with weekly payments."




Quotes from Man denies robbing massage parlours by Lisa Williams of the Surrey Comet.

My understanding is that this is how most of the robberies are carried out. I read about some Escort agencies and Independent escorts that have bodyguards in their flats, and cannot blame them.

I have had an influx of readers popping in from the USA over the past few days, more than usual.On Wednesday, USA outnumbered UK readers.I would suggest that my new readers have a look at the other bloggers on my sidebar, who have lots to say.Thank you for stopping by.

Have a good weekend!

Labels: News, Prostitutes, security, Sexworkers, Surrey Comet

I read the article in the LA times about Jody Gibson's aka Babydoll disclosures. This is not the first time this sort of thing has happened.

When Hollywood madam Jody "Babydol" Gibson was busted eight years ago, word that police had seized her list of celebrity clients stirred intense curiosity in Hollywood — and not a little worry.

The much-anticipated disclosure of famous names never occurred, however. The evidence presented to the jury that convicted Gibson in 2000 of operating an international prostitution ring included phone books and other records in which, prosecutors said, she listed her customers. But authorities blacked out the names in publicly available court records.

Now, their identities are entering the public domain.

Quotes from L.A's Madam "trick book" is unsealed by Chuck Philips of the LA times.

The safest thing for clients to do is to use an alias. However, that causes all sorts of complications as I have pointed out in my escort security post and and my verification post. In the USA the verification seems to be tighter as escorting is illegal.

Labels: Escort agencies, La Times, Naming and shaming, News, security

I did my usual catch up on the message boards at the weekend. I came across a post that disturbed me, and raised a number of issues for me.

A client had left a review on an Escort agency website, indicating that he had slapped an escort. Fortunately, the review has been removed.

I have mixed feelings about reviews as I have pointed out here.

The post that I read at the weekend, demonstrates the harmful aspects of Escort reviews.

It is one thing, when a reviewer gives false information in reviews, and then an escort has difficulty convincing future clients that the information is false.

I think it is dangerous when a reviewer, indicates that he used force during a booking, and makes it clear that the escort protested, and stated that she would not see him again.

"She was not keen on X, but I blasted X ....., and made her cough and splutter."

These types of reviews can attract certain types of clients, and put some escorts lives in danger.

I catch up on the boards when I can, and do not read them daily. However, I think it is important to read the boards,for my own security, to identify clients I do not want to see. I understand that some clients will not disclose their handles, when they book an escort. However, there are some that do.

What I found reassuring from the post, was that there were a number of members who were outraged by that review. There are clients who will question the accuracy of these types of reviews, and there are also clients who will think it is okay to get the escort to do, what they have read. There are also a number of misogynists out there, who thrive on this sort of material.

I think that reviewers need to understand the consequences of what they write ,in escort reviews.

Sometimes, the Review boards, and Escort only boards, can help escorts avoid these types of clients. I feel it is irresponsible when Escort agencies, and Escort review boards publish these types of reviews.

In this case they were removed.

Do you think Reviewers have a responsibility?

Do you think that Review boards need to censor the types of reviews that are published?

Gillette has an interesting post on Boundaries,Choice and Responsibility.

Labels: Black escort, Ex-Courtesan in transition, Review boards, Reviews, security

The more I read about blogs, the more I realise that some bloggers can make an impact.

They have an ability to affect the way some people run their businesses. A good example is Jeff Jarvis, and his experience with Dell, here.

Jeff, clearly has a presence on the Internet, and I believe he has a right to share what happened to him. I believe Jeff sharing his experience with others, prompted Dell to alter how they treat customers.

Then there can be repurcussions. Bloggers who write about their employers, who are discovered and then sacked. Rebecca Blood has an interesting piece about reaping what you sow.She talks about how some political bloggers have had to face the consequences here.

The Courtesan connection has two important posts about Security. He outlines how important it is to cover your tracks here and how to put it into action here. He encourages Providers who write blogs to consider making them invitation only.

Reading all these posts, reinforces the impact that blogging can have on a blogger's life,for me. As well as how a blogger can impact other lives, too.

It is hard for me to gauge who is reading my blog. Occasionally, I have readers contact me, who are not comfortable leaving comments on my blog, for various reasons, sharing how a post has impacted them.

Food for thought.

Labels: Blogging, Courtesan Connection, Jeff Jarvis, Rebecca Blood, security

I sometimes take calls from clients, when I am at work. It depends on how busy a day I have.

I leave my phone on silent while I am at work. I have my own office, so do not have to worry about a colleague listening in.

A few weeks ago, during lunch, everyone had left the building. I did not realise that one of my colleagues was on his way back into the building. I had my office window open, and was talking to one of my escort friends about the business.

I am not sure what part of my conversation my colleague may have heard. He has not approached me, and I doubt he will. There is nothing in his behaviour, that indicates that he knows something.

It is too late, if he did hear the conversation. I will just wait and see if he talks to anyone, because that is something that will cause a stir.

I have decided I will cross that bridge when I come to it. The thing is, that I doubt any of my colleagues would believe him.

Labels: Black escort, discretion, London, security

Once I put my professional site out on the internet, I learned a number of lessons.

1. Some shameless escorts stole chunks of text from my site, and passed it off as their own. Yes, imitation is a form of flattery, but I did not like it.I know who they all are, as one of my clients brought this to my attention.

2. I found that sites that I had not approached, had linked to me, which again I did not like.I contacted them, and some removed my details after a series of emails.

3. My photos were being used on sites again, that I did not want to be associated with.

It is a jungle out there, and I learned that to expect anyone to behave in an ethical manner was unrealistic. The internet cannot be regulated. A tough lesson to learn.

I came across this article last week, that outlines how anyone can access your photos,and link it your identity.

Granted, a search engine that recognises faces could make managing images and searching for them a lot easier. Instead of tagging photos, you could simply use one photo of yourself, or whoever, to find all the others. But the problem is, so can anybody else. Just as it didn't take long for people to become worried about "being Googled", if image search engines take off we might have to be a lot more cautious about the photos we share online. By syncing photos of us with whatever other personal information we've left lying around online, who knows just how detailed a personal profile could become?

Jonathan Bamford of the Information Commissioner's Office, the independent body that both promotes access to official information and campaigns to protect personal information, believes this is a genuine concern: "New technology means the risk of constant surveillance is higher, and we need to be aware of that risk. We are concerned that we're putting together the infrastructure for a surveillance society."

"You really need to understand how valuable your personal information is. I don't think people understand that the more and more you put out there in the electronic world, the more people can potentially access that."

Quotes from Finding that face in the crowd by Ronan Fitzgerald for the Guardian newspaper.



To the men out there who do not understand why escorts blur their faces, or do not show their faces, the article should explain why.

Have a good week.

Labels: guardian, Internet, security

I did my weekly catch up on a messageboard at the weekend.

I came across a post where someone mentioned that a famous escort who he saw, told him that a client turned up at her day job, and made it obvious that he knew that she was an escort. She thought he was a shit for doing so.

The thought of this happening to me is unsettling.

I am aware that some of my clients have just as much to lose as I do. They are married, high powered professionals, who could not deal with the embarassment. If their wives found out, they would be taken to the cleaners. However, there is a group of men, who do not give a damn.

Reading that post on the messageboard, was a reminder as to why I do not give personal information to most of my clients. I have done, with some of my regulars, but they are in the minority. I know some escorts who tell all their clients their real names, and where they work, as they find it easier to deal with. Good luck to them.

Last year I had a booking with someone who works in the same field that I do, outside of this industry. If I had this information, before I saw him, I would not have taken the booking. I recognise that it is unlikely that a client would disclose his occupation to you, unless you have had lots of email contact,are on a dinner/lunch date or he feels he wants you to know.

The chances of me bumping into this man professionally are very high, and god knows what I will do, when that happens. I do not like to mix this life, with my other life, but it feels that the two may merge now. Something that I thought was impossible.

I have to confess, that I made some assumptions. I did not think that there was any possibility that men who worked in my profession could ever be clients. A classic case of having a false sense of security. Total wake up call!

*gets flame retardent coat, and runs for cover*

Have any of you been in a similar situation?

If so, when you bumped into the individual, did they breach your confidentiality?

How did you handle it?

He has no idea what I do outside of this industry, so will be shocked if and when we do meet.

Two more additions to my sidebar.

Chevalier, who is based in Texas, who writes about his encounters with escorts and the scene.


Not just another John is forty something, divorced, has seen escorts. He is in a relationship with an escort, and bares his soul in his blog.

Pay them both a visit.

Have a good week.

Labels: Black escort, Boundaries, Chevalier, clients, London, Not just another John, security

The internet speeds up the dissemination of not only information but also misinformation. So what are we to do about this? Regulate? Legislate? Complain? Ignore? Or respond?

The internet can be better at corrections than old media. A fix can be attached to an error where it occurs, and many online denizens pride themselves on confessing missteps faster than their print and broadcast counterparts. But the internet can also be worse - online, errors can spread wider faster and take on a longer half-life. I wish we had a technical solution - that everyone who linked to an incorrect article could receive an alert and correction.

Should blogs subscribe to a code of conduct? I don’t think so (and neither does Toulmin). Again, blogs are mostly just people in conversation and I don’t wave a code when I talk to my neighbours and friends; I know that my integrity rests on my credibility. On the other hand, when I argue that bloggers who commit acts of journalism should enjoy the rights and privileges of professional journalists, how can I say that they should not suffer the same regulation? Well, for me, that’s easy, because as an American first amendment absolutist, I bristle at any attempt to regulate speech.

And I do fear that in their efforts to protect truth, legislatures, courts and self-appointed industry watchdogs could chill speech in new ways. If the people fear retribution without the legal resources that the owners of presses have, they will either shut up or hide behind the anonymity the internet allows. That would be a tragedy.

We need to recognise that the internet alters how media operate. Blogs - whether written by professionals or amateurs - tend to publish first and edit later, which can work because the audience will edit you. In this medium, stories are never done; rather than turning into fish-wrap, they can grow and become more factual and gather new perspectives, thanks to the power of the link and, yes, the correction.

An interesting post by Jeff Jarvis, read more, for the full story.

I am not comfortable with blogs subscribing to a code of conduct. I write what is on my mind.

Why should that be restricted?

What do you think?

Time magazine's "Person of the Year" awards were started in 1927, since when there have been some pretty dodgy winners, Hitler among them. They clearly should not be taken too seriously, other than as a subject of mild end-of-the-year controversy. The 2006 winner, though, has troubled me for reasons that go well beyond mere dissatisfaction with the verdict. The winner was "You" - that is, us - and to make sure we got the message, when we look at Time we see ourselves in a mirror embedded in the cover. Actually, the You is not quite all of us, merely those of us who have contributed to the growth of the internet and all it contains - for instance blogging and participating in YouTube, MySpace or other "user-generated" sites.

Time's editor, Richard Stengel, commented: "You, not us, are transforming the information age." That was a profoundly depressing statement, as was the fuller citation explaining the reasoning: "For seizing the reins of the global media, for founding and framing the new digital democracy, for working for nothing and beating the pros at their own game ..."

The misguided and misleading use of the term democracy in this context, and the manifestly incorrect claim that You have conquered the professionals, are bad enough. But my main objection is wider. The Time award and the reasons for it promote what I believe to be one of the most pernicious and disturbing philosophies of our age, extolling the cult of what is often patronisingly referred to as the "ordinary" person. I emphasise immediately that if I use the word "ordinary", it is in quotation marks - it is not to suggest inferiority or any comparison with an elite of extraordinary people. The philosophy I object to, which the internet's information explosion has fostered, is that the "ordinary" person is as - no, even more - important to the dissemination of knowledge, information and opinion as the expert or the professional.

It manifests itself in various ways, here and elsewhere. South Korea has a news website, OhMyNews, that uses "citizen journalists" to provide most of its material. It has some 40,000 non-professional contributors; they are, of course, untested and unvetted, their submissions unchecked, their motives unknown. The reader of the website can have no idea about the accuracy of the information on it; yet it is one of the main sources of news for South Koreans. Nor can entrants into the social network sites for the young, such as MySpace, have any real idea of the genuineness, truthfulness or hidden motives of their fellow joiners; and it is impossible for the web's operators to monitor who registers. Not surprisingly, meetings engineered over the internet have caused anguish and tragedy as well as happy associations.

Then there is the proliferation of - though they don't yet call them that yet - "citizen reviewers". Hardly a newspaper here (this one included) is free from readers' opinions on the holidays they have taken, restaurants they have dined at, films they have seen and so on; it seems that no cultural or leisure activity escapes being assessed by "ordinary" people.

A few months ago the usually reliable Routier Guide to good, honest, affordable English eateries folded. People were no longer buying such guides, we were told. Instead, they searched for places to eat on various websites carrying accounts by people who had chosen to make public their dining experiences. A favourable opinion on a website by, say, a DS of Bristol (who may well be, a recent survey revealed, the chef using a pseudonym) takes precedence over a balanced review of a meal by a trained, independent inspector.

How long can it be before professional critics and reviewers - people who know what they are talking about, who perhaps have had years of experience in their field - are jettisoned in favour of "ordinary" people's views? After all, the expert costs money; the amateurs come free. Why do we need our own film/restaurant/book reviewers when hundreds of cinemagoers/diners/readers are only too anxious to tell us what they think? But Time's assertion that those working for nothing are "beating the pros at their own game" is nonsense. They are providing a different service, an opinion based not on expertise and experience, but on their less tutored feelings. I am not saying that the amateur's view is less legitimate than the professional's; but it should not be given some sort of mystical prominence.

Looking at the information revolution as a whole, the greater participation by You has been a benefit. But the movement is losing its sense of proportion. It has become too successful, too cocky. The role played by those who possess special talents, skills, knowledge, training and creativity should not be undermined by the desire to include the remainder.

We all deserve an award this year says Time Magazine. But what's so great about "ordinary people". An article by Marcel Berlins of the Guardian newspaper.


I can see what Marcel Berlins is saying. However, these days when I go to restaurants, on holidays, or to hotels. I tend to read reviews by professionals, and ordinary people. I have sites like trip advisor really useful. I can see that Marcel is saying it has become too cocky.

I wonder whether the professionals are feeling threatened by the ordinary people?

In this industry there are no professional experts. I guess there are people on review boards who write multiple reviews, who are respected by some, as they are prolific reviewers. However, they are ordinary people in my view. I would not consider them experts.

The internet has changed the way in which I work. I have used paper advertising, on one occasion, and it did not work. The internet seems to enable easier access, in my view.

I have witnessed clients on messageboards start threads on escorts, which are pretty negative, and the escort has either retired, or come back reinvented. The speed in which information can be shared, and disseminated is amazing. I agree with Jeff Jarvis, if the information is incorrect, who will edit. On review boards, or messageboards, it can be really political, and some people do not stand a chance, and in effect, their business is affected. It may be that some members have clout, and are able to say what they want, when they want.That is the part that I have difficulty with, sifting out the truth.

In all the kerfuffle that surrounded the arrest of Tom Stephens this week, there was a certain inevitability to the media locating his profile on the social networking website MySpace. Before the page was closed down, it was possible to see that, alongside Stephens's professed admiration for Hong Kong Phooey, he boasted eight online "friends" including the MySpace administrator, Tom. Yesterday, those eight "friends" were already attracting attention, and acquiring all manner of unpleasant comments on their sites. It was, perhaps, a cautionary tale of friend-making in MySpace.

For the uninitiated, MySpace friendships work a little like this: you have your own MySpace profile, which details your hobbies, interests, photographs and videos and has links to your "friends'" profiles. People become your "friend" by submitting a friendship request to you, or vice versa. Some of these requests will come from people you already know in the real world. Others will be sent by strangers. They may want to be your friend because they are, in a broad, sweeping manner, asking everybody to be their friend. Or they might have read your profile and identified you as a likeminded soul who shares their love of Five Star. Either way, you can approve, deny, or simply ignore any friendship requests you get.

How do you know who your "friends" really are? An article by Laura Barton of the Guardian.

I read this article, and it made me think. I get so many requests from other independent escorts to be included on my links page, on my professional site. My policy, is that I will only link to people that I have met, or consider friends.

I read on messageboards that some members will not write reviews, because they have major fears of being traced, if something were to go wrong, and it would get back to their wives. Clearly, if you use a handle, and email address that is not connected to your real life, I imagine it would be hard to be traced.

An example is with the recent Ipswich arrests, phone records were traced, and the individuals were contacted.

What is your view?

Labels: Blogging, Internet, Jeff Jarvis, News, Reviews, security

I was leaving work(non escort related) the other day, and said goodbye to our receptionist as I headed out. I noticed she was talking to someone, who I did not recognise. I heard a voice call my name, as I walked through the car park. I turned round, and it was the woman who had been talking to the receptionist. As soon as she spoke I realised who she was. We had worked together last year, but she looked different.

She is probably in her mid to late forties, but had gone grey overnight. That is why I could not recognise her, and she had cut her hair. What was to follow, was very distressing. She has been diagnosed with Cancer , and has been given eighteen months to live by the oncologist. I was fighting back the tears, as she told me her story, and the rest of the day, I felt low.

My philosophy in life, is that death is inevitable, however we never know how we are going to go, or when. I have had a number of friends and relatives die, over the past few years, including my father. Some of them have died in accidents, had heart disease or cancer. I have friends and family who have cancer, too.I am feeling emotional as I write this, because there is a part of me that feels that I should be able to come to terms with it. I remember how I felt when I got the phone call, saying that my father had died, and how everything became a blur, thereafter.The flight back home. I will always remember the day I went to the morgue to see him.

However, when I saw my ex colleague a few days ago, it shook me up in a big way. A number of issues came up for me, around how uncertain life is, and it is something that I grapple with daily. The fear of losing those close to me, which has happened and continues to happen.

Then I watched the news yesterday and felt for the women who were missing, and dead.

Paul Lewis of the guardian newspaper writes:
Don't go out alone women told.

One sex worker, who gave her name as Suzy, who knew at least one of the murdered prostitutes, said neither she nor her colleagues would heed the warning to stay off the streets. She said they were unlikely to approach police. "With Christmas coming up we don't have the choice to stay off the streets," she said. "The police make it sound like it's our fault if we get attacked."

She added: "Two women I know recently reported attacks. One was hurt badly, but police did nothing. They told her there was no chance it would come to court. That attitude gets around and so other women don't come forward. You have to ask how many women have reported violence and nothing was done?"

A serial killer is on the loose, yet these women still feel that they need to go out and work. I cannot believe it.

Why are they not concerned about their safety?

Another article by Paul Lewis of the Guardian newspaper.

Police warn prostitutes to stay off the streets.

He believes the killer uses his local knowledge to conceal the body for long enough to destroy forensic evidence, but still ensure that his crimes will be discovered, which could be an important motivation for him.
"He is clearly organised and clever. He is unlikely to be obviously weird because the prostitutes are getting into the vehicle with him."

Prostitutes made easy targets, he said, because of the nature of their work. "If a guy is smooth and hands over the money and she is comfortable, she is likely to take him somewhere away from cameras, nearby. She will protect him by doing this. That's when he kills her."

The murderer is likely to be white, because killers tend to select targets within their own racial group, he said. He is also likely to have a history of violence, but not necessarily convictions.

"It is not at all an impulsive crime to pick someone up and kill them and drive a distance away with a body. He would have to feel comfortable and not panic. There is also a drive he has got - to kill in such a short space of time."

Karen Mcveigh of the Guardian newspaper writes:

Killer is probably white, in his late 20s or 30s with local links.

The murder of one sex worker rarely makes headlines. Two within days, and in the same part of the country, will begin to attract the attention of the press, but it is only when the magic words "serial killer" can be used that the story is likely to make the front page. Those conditions were fulfilled at the weekend when police announced the discovery of the body of a third woman in woodland in Suffolk. Yesterday two more women were reported missing.

Deep-seated prejudices are at work. The press can never quite decide whether murdered sex workers are tragic victims, like any woman targeted by a serial killer, or have chosen a lifestyle that means they are partly responsible for their deaths. It is a mindset which actively gets in the way of tracking down the killer, and one simple point needs to be shouted from the rooftops: most men who kill sex workers do it not because they hate prostitutes, but because they loathe women full stop.

Joan Smith of the Guardian newspaper writes:

Prostitutes deserve as much sympathy as any murder victim.

The parents of the two girls who are dead were not aware that they were prostitutes. This does not come as a surprise to me. What upsets me is having to take that on board,as well as their children being murdered. I am aware that the type of death an individual is faced with complicates the grieving process. It becomes more complicated when the bereaved cannot talk about the death, because of the stigma attached to it.

The majority of us are not open about what we do. The last thing I would want, if I were to die in these circumstances, is for my mother to be given that information.

I have clients who have heart disease, who are all under forty! Some who have had numerous strokes, and I worry about something happening to them, while they are with me. I have had a conversation with one of my client's and asked him what he would like me to do if anything were to happen. He told me that he wanted me to call an ambulance, and then leave. I see him, when his wife and kids are away.

This is one of my greatest fears, as well as being caught in the act, which I raised yesterday.

Last year I read an article about a client dying after he saw an escort. I hope I am never in this situation, and feel I would be reduced to a giberring wreck. The police and journalist were quite sensitive, and I believe the escort called the client's wife!

I have heard that a lot of men would love to go out on the last stroke.

A related article from BBC news.

Woman quizzed on ex AM's death

I would rather whoever found me, just came up with a story. What story I do not know. If I was conscious I am happy for a client to call a friend or family, if I am unable to do it myself.

I watched the news yesterday, and thought I need to think about what to do, if anything were to happen, and to think about how those close to me would be affected.

What would you like a client or escort to do, if you were to have an emergency during a booking?

How would you want the discretion issue to be handled?

Bear in mind that the person may have passed out, before you can ask them who you can call.

Do you ever envisage a time, when you will have these types of discussions with clients or escorts who you see regularly?

I am happy that I had the discussion with my client, and feel less anxious when I am with him. This does not take away the fact, that I could be reduced to a gibbering wreck if it were to happen.

Make the most of the life you have while you can.

Labels: bbc news, Death, discretion, guardian, Ipswich Murders, Prostitutes, security, Sexworkers

I am puzzled and bewildered. I get emails asking me for unblurred photos.

What are these men thinking?

As all my photos on my site are blurred.

Why would I send unblurred photos to a total stranger?

I am curious, could someone try and help me understand what the people who email me are thinking?

Mr Swot tends to only book escorts who have unblurred photos. He told me he took a huge risk with me.

I wonder why?

I guess if you have had a number of experiences where the person you see disappoints, it is safer to see someone who has unblurred photos.

Most of my clients say they come to see me, because my photos are blurred.

Labels: Black escort, Boundaries, clients, escorting, London, Photos, security

I got an email the other day, which may have been genuine. Someone wanted to book me for a friend to cheer him up. It was an Outcall.

Well, nice thought, but I would need to verify the person that I was visiting.

How would I do that if it was a surprise?

So the answer was no. If I am unable to screen a client, then I am not taking the booking.

It reminded me of an Outcall that I went on last year. I did my screening, and set off, it was an early morning call on a Sunday morning. I get there, and walk into the living room, and, wait for this, there are three guys there! Not one, not two, but three! I asked the guy who booked me why the other guys were there, and he claimed they wanted to watch. Yeah, right!

The client paid me my fee,which I left on the table. I said I needed to let my cab know, how long I would be, and I was out of there.

Fortunately, there are a number of people who know where I am when I see clients, and who will call me, or call the police if I do not check in with them by a certain time.

Labels: Black escort, escorting, security

What does this mean?

Is she an Ice queen?

Is it about an escort keeping within her boundaries?

There is a section in

Live sex acts by Wendy Chapkis

One of the sex workers, describes the boundaries that doctors, firefighters, psychiatrists need to keep in place, to do their work. Her view is that as an escort if you do this, it is somehow not acceptable, or your clients do not like it.

This is from

Sex work writings by women in the sex industry by Delacoste and Alexander


Peggy morgan an exotic dancer says

"The macho insecure types need more. On some level they know what a great equalizer prostitution is, and they are not satisfied with a simple business transaction. Not only do we have to work at getting them off and making them feel good, but we have to put up with their clumsy, grubby hands pawing our bodies-and pretend to enjoy it. It is not that these customers really want to please a woman-most of the time these are the same ones who will argue about money or make a fuss about having to pay up front. They simply want to feel power over the whore, who is by implication of her class and gender someone beneath them."

It is difficult to gauge what each individual client wants or needs, as I have raised in the guessing game.

Some clients want some conversation, and want you to be friendly, and some clients want to get down to action as soon as possible.

I had a client who did not want me to say a word, when we met. He cringed any time, I spoke. The conversation consisted of a few words, hello, thank you, and directions to the bathroom.

It felt really weird initially, as he was someone that I saw frequently, and I usually ask clients how they have been. Some small talk is necessary, for me. However, after a while it did not matter. He was a lonely man, who lacked social skills, and never initiated any conversation, and clearly did not want any.

It is so tricky, because if you are chatty, you can be accused of talking too much, and wasting valuable time, and if you say nothing, you risk being labelled as too professional. The other disadvantage around being friendly, is a client picking up the wrong signals, and believing that there is more to the relationship.

There have been debates about some of these clients on other messageboards.The men who want action asap, who are also known as men who want you to meet them with your knickers round your ankles . Or they are also known as men who just want to empty their tanks, and are usually advised by women on other boards to go to brothels.

So what is too professional in your view?

Or

What is it for an escort to be unprofessional?

I have just come across this on another messageboard. I tend to check my email at work.

Does anyone have any infomation on the legal position in the UK?

Labels: Black escort, books, escorting, Professionalism, security