Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Trust, betrayal,vulnerability and security

I am relieved that they have arrested a man on suspicion, connected with the murders in Ipswich. I hope they have found the right man.

Reading his profile, he was friendly with all the women, and knew them well.It came as a surprise to me, and it did not. It reminded me of the times, I have seen parents on TV who have missing children, appealing to the public, and then we find out they killed their children. Most date rapes are carried out by people who know their victims.

It is worrying, and in this industry, creating personal relationships with escorts and clients can be detrimental. It is sad, because the work can be isolating, and I find it helps to have someone to share your concerns with, and to be there as support.

As I mentioned in the payment upfront post , I have had regular clients who have conned me.

I think there is something about human nature, that waits until you feel secure in a relationship to attack.

I see it and hear about it all the time, in and out of this industry. It could be a colleague at work that you have confided in, who wants your job, and uses information that you have told them in confidence, to threaten your job security. It could be a close friend, who gives information to your partner about you. It could be an escort who is a friend, who gives information to a mutual client that they do not need to. The lists are endless.

I tend to give most people the benefit of the doubt, and my mother always told me that I should not trust anyone. She has friends and employees who have let her down countless times. I have learned the hard way.

I could not function in the world without trusting anybody, and know people who do. I imagine it would be too stressful for me constantly watching my back.

In this industry there is a need to take precautions on both sides. The disgruntled client, who becomes a stalker, or who wants to expose you in some way. The escort, who comes to visit you on Outcall,and has your name, address, where you work, and harasses you. Nevertheless, people still do form relationships with escorts and clients.

I had a conversation with Mr Swot last week, and he said, he rarely has girls come to see him on Outcall. He has been warned by other hobbyists, johns,punters, pooners, whoremongers, whatever you would like to call yourselves, that it is very risky.I can see his point of view.

It is a dangerous world that we live in.

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Nia, you have the best blog of its kind on the Web.

No one can ever agree about all the terminology, but clearly I am a courtier and all the other johns are johns!

Now I see they have arrested a second guy in Ipswich. The plot thickens. This story had certainly brought a sharpened focus by the media on what is always called the 'shadowy' world of prostitution.

I think that IN GENERAL prostitutes and men have remarkable cordial and trusing relationships when you consider that they enter into contractual relations that are almost completely unregulated by law.

Any area of commerce that operates away from the protection of the law is on shaky ground, and of course this is why drug dealers are always getting robbed and killed by other drug dealers.

In an area like prostitution some people will always be tempted to take advantage, partly because they are desperate. If a guy is completely broke, he may cheat an escort because he feels he has nothing to lose, but it would be a very smart escort who would pick up on this prior to making an appointment, especially if that client has been reliable before.

Stay safe.

Thank you, I am so glad that you like my blog. I appreciate your support.


Yours is one of a kind too, and definitely a valuable resource for anyone going to the DR.

I agree with what you are saying. The scamming, bait and switch, attacks, webmasters who con etc, get away with murder.

There is no accountablility as you point out, so all we can do is moan, or weep, and pass on our experiences to other like minded people.

People play dirty in this world.

You stay safe too.
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