Nia Dark and Lovely, a Black Escort in London

It is one year since I started blogging. How time does fly. Chevalier has been on my case to do my own interview. I gave him my word, so have to honour that.

What is the first weblog I came across?

I think it was Postmodern courtesan, which no longer exists.

Why did I start blogging?

It was not something that I gave much thought to. I have a side to my personality that is impulsive. I decided that I would give it a go one day, and did. I have found that it can be therapeutic, to put my thoughts down. I like the fact that I can write what I like, and noone can censor me.

Which blogs do I read?


I read all the blogs on my sidebar.My favourites are Beau, Caitie Mae, Chevalier, Compartments, English Courtesan, Gillette, and Joanne of Leeds and Mercurial girl.

I miss Glengarry Leads, Memoirs of a Whoremonger, and the Petulant Pooner, who have all stopped blogging.

What appeals to me about the blogs I read?

The bloggers personality, and passion shines through. Their blogs are informative, interesting, amusing in some instances, controversial,thoughtful, and honest.

Whose writing do I particularly admire?

I admire Jeff Jarvis, Rebecca Blood Negrophile, Maya Angelou, Khalil Gibran and John Steinbeck.

In my reading do I seek out different points of view ?

I like to read books or blogs that challenge my way of thinking, and feel this is the only way that I can learn.

How do I choose items to link?

I link to articles or blogs that interest me, annoy me, amuse me or that I find informative.

What is my policy on comments?

My comments are moderated to avoid spam.

Do I ever receive abusive comments , how do I handle it ?

I have received one abusive comment, since I started blogging. The comment was nothing to do with my blog, but someone who wanted to draw me into an argument, on one of the blogs on my sidebar. I felt it was irrelevant, and did not post it. My policy on abusive comments, is that I am happy to post them, if they are not posted by anonymous commenters.

Where do I find interesting links?

I find interesting links on other blogs, and via the search engines.

Do I ever write to provoke a reaction, how do I do that ?

I don't think I do, however I somehow manage to provoke a reaction.

How much traffic do I get?


When I started blogging, I had 50 unique visits a day, it is now 100 to 300 a day. My traffic is dependent on my blog posts, and who links to me.

What is my rank on Technorati?

It is 395,824.

Has my writing changed since I started blogging?

I think I am more confident, and clearer than when I began. My readers may have another view.

How many hours do I spend online a day?

It varies, it could be anything from one to six hours a day. It depends, my dayjob, requires that I spend sometime on line.

How much time do I spend on my site a day?


An hour a day. It sometimes is more than that,if I have to do lots of research for a blog post.

How many blogs do I read?


All the blogs on my sidebar. I used to read them all daily, but no longer have the time to do that.

How do I find new blogs?


I find new blogs, from other blogs, and reader comments.

How much reader email do I get?

I get five to ten reader emails a week.

What do I think makes a successful blog?

I think a succesful blog is original, engaging, informative and focused.

What is my advice for a new blogger?

Read Rebecca Blood's book.

Rebecca's article on weblog ethics is essential.

Have a purpose for your blog. Do not post when you are angry. Read other blogs. Write for yourself, and not for the audience.Be yourself, be patient, and voice your opinion. Link as much as you can, as it gives readers information, and good content will bring in traffic. If someone says something bad about you, link to it and answer. Remember what you write is available to the public.Be honest. If you copy and paste, or use a piece from a website or blog, link to it. If you do not, you will get caught. Word travels quickly on the web and blogosphere, and it does not help your reputation.

How has blogging changed my life?

I have formed friendships with some of my blog readers.

What blogs do I think deserve wider recognition and why?


I am so behind on my reading at the moment, I can't answer the question.

What are my hobbies?


Cooking when I am in the mood. Going to concerts, eating out, reading, watching movies,learning languages, and travelling.

How has my blog changed over the year?

I think I have moved away from writing about personal issues, to commentary.

Am I fairly accurate in predicting which of my items will be widely linked?

I have no idea why some posts are linked to, more than others.

Do I have a background in writing?

No

When do I blog?


At the start of my day, mainly or when I have the time.

With regard to blogging what was my most memorable moment?

There have been several moments. I did a book review here, and the author came in to comment.

I had been mentioned on another blog. I was able to agree to disagree with the blogger here, in a civilised manner. The author of the blog came in and gave her comments.

I had covered an article , and the owner of the escort agency came in here to correct me.

Discovering that bloggers who I admire and respect have linked to me on their blogs, and realising that I have a core group of returning readers.

Would you read your site?

Oh yes. I have 254 posts to date, lots of comments, and 55,000 visits.

Thank you all for reading.

Labels: Beau, Black escort, Bloggers on blogging Interviews, Caitiemae, Chevalier, Compartments, English courtesan, Escort agencies, Ex-Courtesan in transition, Friction, Joanne of Leeds

I was honoured, thrilled, and amused that Livvy, the English Courtesan had awarded me with a rocking girl blogger award. Some of you may not have visited the English courtesan's blog. She is playful, hilarious, and informative. She has recently developed an obsession with my boobies, which I am concerned about. Poor Livvy, has been misled about my boobies.

The rules of the award are, to write a post with links to five blogs that are women. I am struggling to find five, as I cannot pick bloggers that have already been chosen, who are some of my favourite bloggers.

All the blogs that I have awarded, I read daily, and have read their archives.

My awards go to Joanne of Leeds who is quirky, down to earth,warm, cracks me up, and tries to get bossy with me. Jo talks about her experiences with her clients, her family, and her animals. Did I mention that she has an animal farm, which I have been to?

Compartments, who writes about secrets and lies and leading a double life.Compartments has changed her direction now, and is doing more dom stuff. Her blog is temporarily sealed, which is a shame. She will be back though. I love Compartment's honesty. I love the fact that she has a no holds barred approach to her writing, which I think is one of the advantages of blogging anonymously. I would recommend Compartments to any newbies out there, to give you a picture of what it can be like with clients.

Kim at Mercurial girl is one of my favourites. She is one of the first blogs I came across, and is an expatriate living between Paris and London.She is now living with her partner, and is no longer a companion. Kim is warm,open,honest and informative. If you search Kim's archives she has some great posts on her life as a companion, some of which I have linked to here, if you click the mercurial girl tag. Kim was at the higher end of the market, however she is not arrogant,and is another anonymous blogger who would tell it like it is. Kim has been helpful to a number of escort bloggers out there, and is a good soul.

Clandestine call girl who has stopped blogging. She is open, shares her vulnerablities, and does not beat around the bush. Another anonymous escort blogger.

Call girl next door who has also stopped blogging, was a blog that I enjoyed. She took up escorting to pay off her debts. She was honest, warm, amusing, and transparent.

Labels: Blogging, Call girl next door, Clandestine call girl, Compartments, English courtesan, Escorts, Friction, Joanne of Leeds, Mercurial girl

The internet has transformed the escort industry. At the moment, there are numerous posts on the mass market, and how endless choice is creating unlimited demand. Some posts on a messageboard, have left me feeling disgusted. This is not unusual for me, with some of the boards in this industry. I cannot get over the arrogance of some of the posters, and lack of respect for escorts.

I find the group dynamics on messageboards fascinating. I read the boards to get up to date on what is happening, and to read the warnings section. I am down to reading one board now, and have lost interest with the rest.

The whole concept of online personas and real life personas, I find interesting. There are some people who I avoid, purely on their posting style, and the types of reviews they write. I find it amusing when some of these posters, claim that they should not be judged on what they post on forums, or write in reviews; as in real life they are different. I acknowledge that I do judge them, and am not surprised when I see their details, on the warning sections of the escort only boards.

I see so many similarities on what Compartments writes about messageboards and how some male members on messageboards like to flame escorts. She makes an important point here

Escorts have to be careful what they say, or they attract the wrong types. It only takes one totally insecure, fucked-up prick out there, name and location unknown to the “community,” who would love to teach an uppity bitch whore who says something he doesn’t agree with on a message board a nice little lesson in person. And she’d never know if it was jerkoff69 or Schlongbooger or DaddyButtFuck or whoever from the message board.

You cannot guarantee, that some of these members will make a booking, with their handles. I do not care if someone claims to have a different persona offline, I do not want to take that risk.

I have and continue to witness, escorts who speak their mind, and boy do they get flamed, or labelled as nutters. Some of the male members who do the labelling, strangely enough cannot take a dose of their own medicine.

Compartments writes a great post on bored with the boards. The paragraph on "It's not a community" is hilarious. As she points out that

Some of the people writing there are suffering from delusions of grandeur that they are IMPORTANT, WELL-KNOWN, or POWERFUL in the community based on how much time they spend adding posts to their count.
If an escort is all caught up in the community illusion herself, she could make a pretty bad mistake based on the belief that some anonymous message board posters could make or break her business because they are “well-known,” meaning, they splatter themselves all over the forums and after a while, other members recognize their handles—Wow, there’s Bryan87 again at 5,462 posts! And he’s reviewed 109 whores! He must hold a lot of sway here! But in fact, the members are all UNKNOWNS outside the virtual community of the message board. Close your laptop, and they cease to exist as an actual, cohesive community, because they are scattered all over the place in offices, basements, and bedrooms posting ANONYMOUSLY. They are embarrassed about their so-called “hobby.” A community does not consist of one person alone whacking off in front of his computer while his family watches T.V. in the other room


Chevalier summarises clearly that some men out there do not know the limitations of knowledge in the paid sex industry.This is what I think is causing angst among some members of the community

As a result of being an underground economy, we will never know as much about potential playmates as people know about, say, potential investments in the stock market or "legitimate" businesses they are considering patronizing. There are no SEC and FASB mandating disclosures, backed up by audits by independent accountants. No FTC setting standards for "truth in advertising."

My view is that some members of these boards have a strong need to control and dominate, and bring their unresolved issues of omnipotence, onto messageboards, and start acting out.
Clearly some escorts feel they have to take the crap, as they feel that having a voice will affect their business.Some of these escorts rely on all their business from these boards.

Have a great weekend.

Labels: Black escort, Chevalier, Compartments, Friction, Joanne of Leeds, London, Messageboards

Thank you to all of you, who called me, emailed , and commented, about my post yesterday. I appreciate your kindness, and am moved by it. I spoke to my mother this morning, and she is doing okay.

I was on my way to a friend's house this morning, and popped into a lingerie shop, to ask for directions. I could not believe the conversation that I heard between the shop assistant, and her customer.

Shop assistant(Woman in her mid to late sixties) "Can I help you?"

Customer (Man in his mid forties) "It did not work."

There happened to be three other people in the shop at the time.

Shop assitant (Shouting) "What did not work?"

Customer " The Viagra did not work."

Shop assistant (Shouting at the customer) " There has to be something wrong with you, because that stuff works!"

I was so embarassed for this guy, but it seemed like he had a thick skin. I just wanted to run and hide, and the conversation had nothing to do with me. I could not believe that he was spoken to in that way.

Is it me, or was the shop assistant mannerless?

I had to go the dentist today, to get some treatment done. I am still waiting for the injection to wear off. I had a conversation with Jo, and we were talking about how our mouths are tools for our job.

I wonder when I will be able to use my mouth. I just did not have the guts to ask the dentist when oral sex would be okay.

Can you imagine the look on his face had I done so?

Labels: Black escort, Joanne of Leeds, oral sex, Thoughts, viagra

Recommendations are not unusual in the escort industry. I have had escorts give their clients my number, and I have done the same.

I had a client who recommended me to a number of friends in his office. I realised what had happened, when I suddenly had a number of lawyers working in the same firm visit me, in one month.

Sadly, a client may behave himself with me, and could be a monster when he visits my friend. I recognise that I have no control over this, whatsoever.

I usually have no problem recommending anyone, because nothing has ever gone wrong.

I have just read Joanne's post on stalkers, and I would hate to think that I ever recommended a client, who became a stalker.

Here are my views on obsessive clients

Clearly, if I knew that the clients I recommended were stalkers, I would not recommend them. I can only hope that things will be okay, when I make recommendations.

Have a good week!

Labels: Black escort, Joanne of Leeds, London, security

I thought I had heard and seen it all, until I read this article. This businessman is clearly devoted to his mistress.

A CHINESE businessman has advertised on the internet for a stand-in mistress to be beaten up by his wife to vent her anger and to protect his real mistress, Chinese media reported today.

Quotes from Wanted: stand-in mistress for wife to beat by the Australian news.

Yes, and some people have signed up. Well, well, well!

I came across some posts about cheating that are on topic, at the weekend.

Gillette has a good post on cheating, and how we can be held hostage in relationships.

Joanne of Leeds talks about how men who are being held hostage at home, take out their frustration on escorts.

Update

Peter and Gigi, I am sorry I have taken a while to get this sorted. Thank you for adding me to your sidebars.

Two new additions to my side bar Peter Leeds, and the Shy giraffe. Pay them a visit.

Have a good week.

Labels: Australian news, Ex-Courtesan in transition, Joanne of Leeds, News

Humour plays a large part in my life. Most of my friends are people who really make me laugh. It seems that I have people close to me who are funny, or have the ability to laugh at life.

I tend to get on well with clients who have a sense of humour, and it tends to make a difference to the meeting, for me.

One of the reasons why I get on well with Jo, is because she makes me laugh. She does not intend to, but rarely do I have a conversation with her without laughing.

Teela sanders has sent me another interesting article, on humour.Thank you Teela,for allowing my readers to have access to these articles, as I am aware they are not available to the public.

She analyses the nature and prevalence of humour as a coping strategy in the sex industry.

Uncontrollable Laughter Managing Sex Work Through Humour by Teela Sanders

Does humour make a difference to you as an escort or client?

Labels: Articles, Escorts, Humour, Joanne of Leeds, Teela Sanders

I read a remark that someone made a while ago. He could not understand why some clients thanked escorts after seeing them. His view was that the client is paying, so he should not thank the escort,the escort should thank him.

I read this, and found it quite fascinating. It made me wonder what his views were on escorts in general. Of course I thank my clients, however some of them say thank you when they leave, and some go beyond that and send an email or text thanking me again.

I believe it is common courtesy to say thank you, when I am paying for something. I thank my doctor, dentist,lawyer, nail technician, reflexologist, masseuse, hairdresser etc. I am paying them ; however it does not prevent me from saying thank you.

Whenever I speak to Jo, she usually thanks me for listening. I do not feel that it is necessary, as I believe that listening is part of the friendship package, although I say the same to her. I met Jo early this year when she was in London, on Tour. We had made contact via email last year, but did not meet until this year. She is one of the few escorts I know, who I consider a friend/sister.Jo is one of the kindest escorts I have ever come across, and is always there for me. Thank you Jo. The day we met, one of the first things we did, within ten minutes of meeting was strip, and check out who had a bigger bum. For those of you who are wondering how I made the leap from introduction stage, to showing Jo my bum, it was not a leap. It was a gradual process, as the bum size issue, had been discussed on many occasions. Jo could not believe I had a bigger bum than her. I do, but could still fit into her clothes, as I have a small waist.

Do I show my bare bum to every escort that I meet?

No, but when I met Pru I did. We had discussed size on numerous occasions too.

Am I obsessing ?

No, I know my bum has a life of its own, and I have come to terms with it.

Labels: Black escort, Escorts, Joanne of Leeds, Thoughts