Nia Dark and Lovely, a Black Escort in London

It is one year since I started blogging. How time does fly. Chevalier has been on my case to do my own interview. I gave him my word, so have to honour that.

What is the first weblog I came across?

I think it was Postmodern courtesan, which no longer exists.

Why did I start blogging?

It was not something that I gave much thought to. I have a side to my personality that is impulsive. I decided that I would give it a go one day, and did. I have found that it can be therapeutic, to put my thoughts down. I like the fact that I can write what I like, and noone can censor me.

Which blogs do I read?


I read all the blogs on my sidebar.My favourites are Beau, Caitie Mae, Chevalier, Compartments, English Courtesan, Gillette, and Joanne of Leeds and Mercurial girl.

I miss Glengarry Leads, Memoirs of a Whoremonger, and the Petulant Pooner, who have all stopped blogging.

What appeals to me about the blogs I read?

The bloggers personality, and passion shines through. Their blogs are informative, interesting, amusing in some instances, controversial,thoughtful, and honest.

Whose writing do I particularly admire?

I admire Jeff Jarvis, Rebecca Blood Negrophile, Maya Angelou, Khalil Gibran and John Steinbeck.

In my reading do I seek out different points of view ?

I like to read books or blogs that challenge my way of thinking, and feel this is the only way that I can learn.

How do I choose items to link?

I link to articles or blogs that interest me, annoy me, amuse me or that I find informative.

What is my policy on comments?

My comments are moderated to avoid spam.

Do I ever receive abusive comments , how do I handle it ?

I have received one abusive comment, since I started blogging. The comment was nothing to do with my blog, but someone who wanted to draw me into an argument, on one of the blogs on my sidebar. I felt it was irrelevant, and did not post it. My policy on abusive comments, is that I am happy to post them, if they are not posted by anonymous commenters.

Where do I find interesting links?

I find interesting links on other blogs, and via the search engines.

Do I ever write to provoke a reaction, how do I do that ?

I don't think I do, however I somehow manage to provoke a reaction.

How much traffic do I get?


When I started blogging, I had 50 unique visits a day, it is now 100 to 300 a day. My traffic is dependent on my blog posts, and who links to me.

What is my rank on Technorati?

It is 395,824.

Has my writing changed since I started blogging?

I think I am more confident, and clearer than when I began. My readers may have another view.

How many hours do I spend online a day?

It varies, it could be anything from one to six hours a day. It depends, my dayjob, requires that I spend sometime on line.

How much time do I spend on my site a day?


An hour a day. It sometimes is more than that,if I have to do lots of research for a blog post.

How many blogs do I read?


All the blogs on my sidebar. I used to read them all daily, but no longer have the time to do that.

How do I find new blogs?


I find new blogs, from other blogs, and reader comments.

How much reader email do I get?

I get five to ten reader emails a week.

What do I think makes a successful blog?

I think a succesful blog is original, engaging, informative and focused.

What is my advice for a new blogger?

Read Rebecca Blood's book.

Rebecca's article on weblog ethics is essential.

Have a purpose for your blog. Do not post when you are angry. Read other blogs. Write for yourself, and not for the audience.Be yourself, be patient, and voice your opinion. Link as much as you can, as it gives readers information, and good content will bring in traffic. If someone says something bad about you, link to it and answer. Remember what you write is available to the public.Be honest. If you copy and paste, or use a piece from a website or blog, link to it. If you do not, you will get caught. Word travels quickly on the web and blogosphere, and it does not help your reputation.

How has blogging changed my life?

I have formed friendships with some of my blog readers.

What blogs do I think deserve wider recognition and why?


I am so behind on my reading at the moment, I can't answer the question.

What are my hobbies?


Cooking when I am in the mood. Going to concerts, eating out, reading, watching movies,learning languages, and travelling.

How has my blog changed over the year?

I think I have moved away from writing about personal issues, to commentary.

Am I fairly accurate in predicting which of my items will be widely linked?

I have no idea why some posts are linked to, more than others.

Do I have a background in writing?

No

When do I blog?


At the start of my day, mainly or when I have the time.

With regard to blogging what was my most memorable moment?

There have been several moments. I did a book review here, and the author came in to comment.

I had been mentioned on another blog. I was able to agree to disagree with the blogger here, in a civilised manner. The author of the blog came in and gave her comments.

I had covered an article , and the owner of the escort agency came in here to correct me.

Discovering that bloggers who I admire and respect have linked to me on their blogs, and realising that I have a core group of returning readers.

Would you read your site?

Oh yes. I have 254 posts to date, lots of comments, and 55,000 visits.

Thank you all for reading.

Labels: Beau, Black escort, Bloggers on blogging Interviews, Caitiemae, Chevalier, Compartments, English courtesan, Escort agencies, Ex-Courtesan in transition, Friction, Joanne of Leeds

I was honoured, thrilled, and amused that Livvy, the English Courtesan had awarded me with a rocking girl blogger award. Some of you may not have visited the English courtesan's blog. She is playful, hilarious, and informative. She has recently developed an obsession with my boobies, which I am concerned about. Poor Livvy, has been misled about my boobies.

The rules of the award are, to write a post with links to five blogs that are women. I am struggling to find five, as I cannot pick bloggers that have already been chosen, who are some of my favourite bloggers.

All the blogs that I have awarded, I read daily, and have read their archives.

My awards go to Joanne of Leeds who is quirky, down to earth,warm, cracks me up, and tries to get bossy with me. Jo talks about her experiences with her clients, her family, and her animals. Did I mention that she has an animal farm, which I have been to?

Compartments, who writes about secrets and lies and leading a double life.Compartments has changed her direction now, and is doing more dom stuff. Her blog is temporarily sealed, which is a shame. She will be back though. I love Compartment's honesty. I love the fact that she has a no holds barred approach to her writing, which I think is one of the advantages of blogging anonymously. I would recommend Compartments to any newbies out there, to give you a picture of what it can be like with clients.

Kim at Mercurial girl is one of my favourites. She is one of the first blogs I came across, and is an expatriate living between Paris and London.She is now living with her partner, and is no longer a companion. Kim is warm,open,honest and informative. If you search Kim's archives she has some great posts on her life as a companion, some of which I have linked to here, if you click the mercurial girl tag. Kim was at the higher end of the market, however she is not arrogant,and is another anonymous blogger who would tell it like it is. Kim has been helpful to a number of escort bloggers out there, and is a good soul.

Clandestine call girl who has stopped blogging. She is open, shares her vulnerablities, and does not beat around the bush. Another anonymous escort blogger.

Call girl next door who has also stopped blogging, was a blog that I enjoyed. She took up escorting to pay off her debts. She was honest, warm, amusing, and transparent.

Labels: Blogging, Call girl next door, Clandestine call girl, Compartments, English courtesan, Escorts, Friction, Joanne of Leeds, Mercurial girl

I had a conversation with an escort friend last week. At the end of the conversation, we both told each other how grateful we were, that we had each other.

I am aware that there a number of escorts out there, who do not meet other escorts at all. They feel that it is too risky, and I can appreciate that, from a damage limitation angle. However, I feel that it can be isolating, when you do not share this part of your life with family and friends.

This industry has a dark side some of which you can see on messageboards. I have read numerous threads were escorts who were close friends fall out on messageboards, and then start revealing personal information about each other, and bad mouth each other to mutual clients.

Some escorts have agendas, and cannot see things for what they are, or they may be angry as the English courtesan points out in this post.

It is important as an escort to pick your escort friends carefully, but there are no guarantees that you are safe.

I am grateful for the few escort friends I have made so far. It is great to share information, have a laugh, raise security issues, and just listen to what it is like .

Update

The Petulant Pooner has stopped blogging. He feels that it is time to move on. He was one of my daily reads, and I wish him well.

Have a good week.

Labels: Black escort, English courtesan, escorting, London, Thoughts

Join the English Courtesan Olivia on her journey from novice Yorkshire temptress, social escort & former mistress to professional courtesan & international travel companion...

What is the first weblog you came across?

Don’t I get to start with an Oscar acceptance preamble about what an
honour it is to be interviewed by Dark and Lovely Nia and how I’d like to
thank Nia and my laptop? If I go into detail about the ‘how’ of thanking Nia the
editor might censor me but I’ll risk a saucy wink at her across cyberspace,
and concentrate on thanking the laptop with one of these instead.

My first blog find was Belle de Jour but like Beau my efforts to seduce her have gone unrewarded to date. So I might just have to settle for a little commiseration with Beau. Ahem. As it were. :-)

Why did you start blogging?

Becoming an escort seemed like such a big life change that I wanted to
chronicle the journey in some way I suppose. As for why I became an
escort, that’s a long story but you can read it here.

Which blogs do you read?

Due to time constraints, I tend to catch up on reading every few weeks
and I always start with my favourites which are Nia (you look so
lovely when you blush!), Gillette (ditto!) and Beau. Whilst I enjoy reading about people’s sexploits, I like thoughtful blogs and non-sex blogs too. I try to read all the blogs on my links list though, so that’s a mixture of escort, client and unrelated non-sex blogs.

What appeals to you about the blogs you read?

I think there are two things that all of these blogs have, and that’s thoughtfulness and honesty. By thoughtfulness, I suppose I mean not just the act of thinking, but the fact that they are open-minded, non-judgemental and able to consider issues other than their own personal ones. Even if I don’t always agree with their opinions, I like the fact that these writers say what they think.

Whose writing do you particularly admire?

In the blogosphere, I admire all of those mentioned above. In books, my
desert island authors would include Evelyn Waugh, Ted Hughes,
Silas Hocking and T. S. Eliot. In journalism, I like Michael Winner and A. A. Gill (who do restaurants in the Sunday Times), Prufrock (random bits of salacious business gossip, also in the Sunday Times) and the ‘Houses with a…’ column in the Saturday Guardian (which does des res properties with things like turrets, libraries, moorings and other useful appendages). Then there’s a graffiti writer who paints words like ‘bum’ on bridges over the M1 motorway which I find peculiarly amusing. My enduring respect also goes to the ad agency that came up with the strapline ‘if it’s not Birds, you’re a custard short of a pudding!’.

In your reading do you seek out different points of view?

Not consciously – I like reading what I like reading, and whether they
share my point of view is less important to me than things like writing
style, honesty, depth and humour. I do like different perspectives though,
like Tom Paine on polyamory and Winheld’s World on life with Duchenne’s muscular Dystrophy, as they make me think.

How do you choose items to link?

I’m partial to girls with big boobies and boys with middle-aged spread. I’m not sure I answered the right question there though.

What is your policy on comments?

I love ‘em! Except if they’re spam in which case I dob them in to their ISP or their Mum.

Do you ever receive abusive comments , how do you handle it ?

I don’t tend to get abusive comments but I do get abusive emails. I usually handle them by hitting the delete button but I’ve kept a few choice ones for their hilarity value. I reserve the right to publish them on my blog one day… :-)

Where do you find interesting links?

Down the back of the sofa with my beribboned undergarments.

Do you ever write to provoke a reaction, how do you do that ?

‘Moi?’. Smiles innocently… I don’t set out to provoke a reaction but I seem to elicit some strong responses nonetheless.

How much traffic do you get?

Ooooh, I love it when you talk techie to me Nia! That’s a trade secret but as it’s you…shhhh...come closer Lovely Nia so that I can whisper in your boobies, sorry, ears…I get 300 to 500 unique visitors a day.

What is your rank on technorati?

270,289 and my Google page rank is 4! I know you didn’t ask for page rank but I’m rather proud of that so I thought I’d slip it in while you weren’t looking. :-)

Has your writing changed since you started blogging?

I think I’ve got more confident in terms of writing about what I want, rather than what I think people want to read. When I started out, I was really trying to answer the questions of an imaginary audience, but now I write for me as much as for anyone else. I’m not sure whether that’s a good thing, but it makes the act of writing it much more enjoyable.

How many hours do you spend online a day?

I’m usually online all day, to such an extent that my wireless router blows itself up on a regular basis. I’m slightly embarrassed to admit that a wi-fi hotspot is a pre-requisite for a holiday destination too, though I’m hoping I’ll grow out of that.

How much time do you spend on your site a day?

It probably averages out at around two hours a week.

How many blogs do you read?

I tend to read all those on my links list, so that’s about 20. Apart from my favourites above, I don’t have time to read them daily, or even weekly, but I try to catch up every few weeks.

How do you find new blogs?

They often find me by commenting on my posts, but I follow links on blogs I like too.

How much reader email do you get?

I usually get between twenty and fifty emails a week. I’m slow to reply because of the sheer volume but I do try to reply in time.

What do you think makes a successful blog?

More pictures of your fabulous boobies would definitely help with the
search engines. :-)

What is your advice for a new blogger?

It sounds trite but I think my biggest piece of advice would be ‘be yourself’. My blog is a way to talk to clients and potential clients, but it’s the real me too and I think that keeping it real is important. I think the rest, in terms of readers and comments and traffic, follows on from that.I think my other advice would be not to trust everyone, in that there are a lot of fakes in the blogosphere, and also not to over-react to seemingly negative comments…see below…

How has blogging changed your life?

Goodness – that’s a biggie, Nia! It has definitely changed my life, but I find it hard to separate the blogging from my new life as an escort, courtesan or whatever you like to call me. The people I’ve met and the friends I’ve made through the blog are the biggest and most positive change to my life. I think a related issue is that the blog means that the loneliness of living a secret life no longer weighs so heavily on me. I can’t tell my ‘normal’ friends about what I do and nor can I ask their advice on things like rates or marketing, but I can tell the blog readers and ask their views.

What blogs do you think deserve wider recognition and why?

Three spring to mind - Lovely Victoria,Hedonistic Pleasure Seeker and Mandy (of ‘How about now?’). Lovely Victoria and Mandy are ‘gentlemen’s companions’ and Hedonistic Pleasure Seeker isn’t (although rather embarrassingly I once called her ‘a hooker with a heart’ at which point she had to explain that she wasn’t, oops!). Again, I think what I love most about these blogs is their refreshing honesty. They tell it like it is and that’s a rare and precious thing in cyberspace.

What are your hobbies?

Top of the list is doing naughty stuff with boys and girls in the bushes - it’s not just work, you know! :-) Aside from that, things I like to do include swimming, going to galleries, antique-hunting (silver and books), sniffing the rain, exploring new places, scuba-diving, restaurants (Indian, Lebanese, and Thai are all good for a veggie like me), running around barefoot on the Yorkshire moors...shall I go on or can I hear snores from the back there? Some of these are things I do with friends, like diving, but others are solitary pursuits, like going up to the moors.

How has your blog changed over the years?

I’m a new girl so there aren’t many years to go on. Ask me that one next year… :-)

Are you fairly accurate in predicting which of your items will be widely linked?

Nope – I don’t have a clue! I just write about things I think are interesting.

Do you have a background in writing?

No but I’ve always loved writing. I read a lot too and I think reading widely helps with writing.

When do you blog?

Naked and at night.

With regard to blogging what was your most memorable moment?

My most memorable moment was the return of VJ! VJ is a reader who commented on some of my earlier posts and who initially suggested my blog was some form of writing project or a joke. I reacted outrageously to that, invited my loyal readers to have a go at him, deleted one of his comments, and called him some really nasty names to boot. When I read his thoughtful comments on other blogs I suddenly realised how dreadfully I’d misjudged him so I apologised in a comment chez Gillette. To my delight he showed himself to be more of a grown-up than I am, and not only forgave me for my earlier rudeness, but also came back and now comments on my blog. That meant the world to me when he reappeared – I was genuinely so sorry and so ashamed of how I’d treated him when I started out. That’s what I meant when I said ‘don’t over-react to comments’ – debate is healthy and sometimes people are questioning or encouraging debate rather than taking a personal swipe at you.

Would you read your site?

Absolutely! What d’you mean ‘do I laugh at my own jokes too’? :-)

Labels: Beau, Belle de Jour, Bloggers on blogging, Bloggers on blogging Interviews, English courtesan, Ex-Courtesan in transition, Hedonisitic pleasure seeker, How about now, Lovely Victoria, Perveselypoly

Beau is a hopeful romantic. His blog is a tongue in cheek blog celebrating submissive women and with a light bdsm feel. It is also a showcase for some of his erotic writings.

What is the first weblog you came across?

I'm really not sure now as it was several years a go. The one that inspired me into blogging I think was Belle de Jour.

Why did you start blogging?

I had started to write a memoir about my experiences as a man who paid women for sex. It detailed a journey from the start of that to an emotional entanglement with an escort. I found it difficult to set aside the time for it though. On seeing Belle's blog I realised I could write it as a blog - and perhaps later try to get it published.

But it was Belle who got the book deal! I know there are many who doubt her veracity but I have exchanged emails with her on occasions and believe her to be kosher.

At about the same time I started to write a blog about another part of my life. it was a therapy for myself and I hoped it might also provide support and links for other people in a similar situation.

Then I realised it was also a way I could find an outlet for my photography.

The original Beau de Jour blog is now closed but I found myself writing lots on the comments section of two female bloggers with a bdsm stance - h0les and married man's fucktoy. Although they write as submissive women they are both clearly very strong, intelligent and creative women. I decided that rather than using my creative energies on their blogs I should start one of my own so the current Beau blog was born.

Which blogs do you read?

I still try to read Belle's blog occasionally. Of course I read Nia every day. I read some of the blogs on my sidebar daily. I won't pick any out as that would be unkind to the others.

I also read some of the blogs I link to from my other blogs.

I also read Dragonfly Geisha each day to check up on what is going on and to give me ideas for my next contribution.

And of course Olivia, the English Courtesan. ( Well actually I'm just trying to curry favour in the hope she might one day ...)

What appeals to you about the blogs you read?

The creativity and the emotional honesty which can have a real power.

Whose writing do you particularly admire?

Tolstoy, Rabindrenath Tagore, William Carlos Williams, Toni Morrison, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Shakespeare, Nia.
I suppose you meant Blogs though.

Dragonfly has a number of blogs under different names and I find them very powerful -especially a poetry blog of hers.

I used to like Freya's writing before she closed down. Sometimes too Nina, Lazy Geisha and Magdelena, Myths and Metawhores, though she is not writing currently.

In your reading do you seek out different points of view ?

It is always good to be able to see issues from another's point of view. I don't seek out blogs to challenge me though.

Even with newspapers I tend to avoid the articles by journalists that are just peddling their own views. Why should I or anybody else care about what Melanie bloody Phillips thinks about the latest political issue and how can she be so arrogant to imagine anybody does care what she thinks in her small minded, arrogant ...

Sorry. Please excuse me. I just go off on one occasionally. It's to help ease my blood pressure.

How do you choose items to link?

I'm not sure I'm clear about the question.

If I find something elsewhere that I find particularly amusing, informative or interesting then I will link to it. I don't go searching for such links. Though I do often go searching for photographs that I can put alongside a humorous comment and always try to link to the originator to give them more traffic.

What is your policy on comments?

On the original Beau de Jour blog and on my personal blog I do not allow comments. That is simply because they were/are intended as a memoir. A story rather than a conversation.

If somebody is interested enough to want to say something to me about what I have written they can email me about it and I try to reply if I can.

On the new Beau blog and on my photography blog I do allow comments.

I do not pre-moderate them as I have found no need. I did start asking people to type in that silly letter combination. I know it is a nuisance but I was starting to get a lot of spam comments.

It's interesting how part of the concept of blogging seems to be the comments. It's like everyone having their own little messageboard where they control the topics. I think my approach has been a bit different and only on the new Beau blog and the Dragonfly Geisha blog have come to recognise the value of that interactivity.

I think some though do spend time posting comments all over to attract people to their own blog. That can get very shallow.

Do you ever receive abusive comments, how do you handle it ?

I think I have only received one comment that might be considered abusive. I was accused of being a liar. I left it there as I believe it was honestly felt.

Where do you find interesting links?

From other blogs and comments to my own blog.

Do you ever write to provoke a reaction, how do you do that ?

I don't think of it in that way but surely all posts are to create a reaction. Otherwise why blog at all?

How much traffic do you get?

I got up to over 250 hits a day on the Beau blog last month but then it suddenly dipped to only 150 for no particular reason. It's creeping back up to 200 again now. My personal blog gets about fifty a day. My photography blog used to get fifty to an hundred then it suddenly and for no apparent reason fell off the Google Image listings. It gets links from Google but not from Google Image. I've no idea why but I now only get about five hits a day on it.

With each of the blogs you can suddenly get surprising peaks when you are linked to from a very popular blog. My personal blog's hits went through the roof one day when I got a link from an Iranian living in Canada who writes a political blog that is very widely read.

I'm actually more interested in those readers who visit regularly rather than those who hit me by accident and never return. There are a couple of readers of two of my blogs who stop by every day and never comment or email but are very loyal. I'd love to know who they are!

What is your rank on technorati?

I've no idea Nia. You're getting very techie all of a sudden!

Has your writing changed since you started blogging?

I'm not sure. perhaps you should ask my readers.

Once you have people who you know reading your blog it is hard to be quite as open.

I think my personal blog is less "raw" and exposing of my emotions and deepest thoughts than it was at the start.

How many hours do you spend online a day?

Too many.

How much time do you spend on your site a day?

Not that long - depends how much I have to write. Though when I have been writing erotica for Beau and Dragonfly Geisha that can get very time consuming.

How do you find new blogs?

From links on other blogs, links to me and comments.

How much reader email do you get?

It varies but can be quite a lot - but nothing like an escort's email inbox I guess!

Emails are always welcome. It's great to know you've written a post that someone has reacted to enough to want to respond. It's also always nice to hear from those who I have developed an online friendship with.

It can get very time consuming though.

What do you think makes a successful blog?

I'm not sure what is a successful blog never mind what makes one. It might be that I wouldn't want to be successful in certain senses.

If there are a regular group who come back and contact me occasionally then I am content to have an audience for my nonsense.

What is your advice for a new blogger?

Just enjoy it. Write honestly - even if with tongue in cheek - and go for it.

(Do take time on the design though - I think it's good to try to make an effort with this but not essential.)

How has blogging changed your life?

I spent a few months abroad a couple of years ago at the invitation of a beautiful female artist who read my blog. A very special time.

I've also met some very real friends some of whom are no longer only online friends.

What blogs do you think deserve wider recognition and why?

I'm not sure I have any to pick out here.

Perhaps Am I Still Me.
Very honest, raw writing with a real purpose.

What are your hobbies?

Photography, writing, the internet, blogging, eating out, eating in.

How has your blog changed over the years?

I have four blogs on the go currently. Beau, a photography blog, a personal blog and a new joint blog - Dragonfly Geisha - with Dragonfly.

I closed the original Beau de Jour blog when I realised it had upset somebody who I was close to.

I want to change the layout of my photography blog into a proper photo-blog when I can get round to it.

The new Dragonfly Geisha blog is more part of a larger concept and it is great fun working collaboratively.

Are you fairly accurate in predicting which of your items will be widely linked?

I'm not sure any of my items are widely linked!

Do you have a background in writing?

Not really.

When do you blog?

It varies but the salacious blogs I write when on my own!

With regard to blogging what was your most memorable moment?

When I received an angry and emotional email from someone I cared for deeply, very upset at discovering herself on my blog (although it was carefully anonymous).

Would you read your site?

Yes. I do. I've found myself enjoying rereading some of the erotica I have written. Though it probably appeals to nobody else!

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

Labels: Am I still me, bdsm, Beau, Belle de Jour, Bloggers on blogging, Dragonflygeisha, English courtesan, holes, Interviews, Lazygeisha, married man's fucktoy, Melanie Phillips