Nia Dark and Lovely, a Black Escort in London

Beau is a hopeful romantic. His blog is a tongue in cheek blog celebrating submissive women and with a light bdsm feel. It is also a showcase for some of his erotic writings.

What is the first weblog you came across?

I'm really not sure now as it was several years a go. The one that inspired me into blogging I think was Belle de Jour.

Why did you start blogging?

I had started to write a memoir about my experiences as a man who paid women for sex. It detailed a journey from the start of that to an emotional entanglement with an escort. I found it difficult to set aside the time for it though. On seeing Belle's blog I realised I could write it as a blog - and perhaps later try to get it published.

But it was Belle who got the book deal! I know there are many who doubt her veracity but I have exchanged emails with her on occasions and believe her to be kosher.

At about the same time I started to write a blog about another part of my life. it was a therapy for myself and I hoped it might also provide support and links for other people in a similar situation.

Then I realised it was also a way I could find an outlet for my photography.

The original Beau de Jour blog is now closed but I found myself writing lots on the comments section of two female bloggers with a bdsm stance - h0les and married man's fucktoy. Although they write as submissive women they are both clearly very strong, intelligent and creative women. I decided that rather than using my creative energies on their blogs I should start one of my own so the current Beau blog was born.

Which blogs do you read?

I still try to read Belle's blog occasionally. Of course I read Nia every day. I read some of the blogs on my sidebar daily. I won't pick any out as that would be unkind to the others.

I also read some of the blogs I link to from my other blogs.

I also read Dragonfly Geisha each day to check up on what is going on and to give me ideas for my next contribution.

And of course Olivia, the English Courtesan. ( Well actually I'm just trying to curry favour in the hope she might one day ...)

What appeals to you about the blogs you read?

The creativity and the emotional honesty which can have a real power.

Whose writing do you particularly admire?

Tolstoy, Rabindrenath Tagore, William Carlos Williams, Toni Morrison, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Shakespeare, Nia.
I suppose you meant Blogs though.

Dragonfly has a number of blogs under different names and I find them very powerful -especially a poetry blog of hers.

I used to like Freya's writing before she closed down. Sometimes too Nina, Lazy Geisha and Magdelena, Myths and Metawhores, though she is not writing currently.

In your reading do you seek out different points of view ?

It is always good to be able to see issues from another's point of view. I don't seek out blogs to challenge me though.

Even with newspapers I tend to avoid the articles by journalists that are just peddling their own views. Why should I or anybody else care about what Melanie bloody Phillips thinks about the latest political issue and how can she be so arrogant to imagine anybody does care what she thinks in her small minded, arrogant ...

Sorry. Please excuse me. I just go off on one occasionally. It's to help ease my blood pressure.

How do you choose items to link?

I'm not sure I'm clear about the question.

If I find something elsewhere that I find particularly amusing, informative or interesting then I will link to it. I don't go searching for such links. Though I do often go searching for photographs that I can put alongside a humorous comment and always try to link to the originator to give them more traffic.

What is your policy on comments?

On the original Beau de Jour blog and on my personal blog I do not allow comments. That is simply because they were/are intended as a memoir. A story rather than a conversation.

If somebody is interested enough to want to say something to me about what I have written they can email me about it and I try to reply if I can.

On the new Beau blog and on my photography blog I do allow comments.

I do not pre-moderate them as I have found no need. I did start asking people to type in that silly letter combination. I know it is a nuisance but I was starting to get a lot of spam comments.

It's interesting how part of the concept of blogging seems to be the comments. It's like everyone having their own little messageboard where they control the topics. I think my approach has been a bit different and only on the new Beau blog and the Dragonfly Geisha blog have come to recognise the value of that interactivity.

I think some though do spend time posting comments all over to attract people to their own blog. That can get very shallow.

Do you ever receive abusive comments, how do you handle it ?

I think I have only received one comment that might be considered abusive. I was accused of being a liar. I left it there as I believe it was honestly felt.

Where do you find interesting links?

From other blogs and comments to my own blog.

Do you ever write to provoke a reaction, how do you do that ?

I don't think of it in that way but surely all posts are to create a reaction. Otherwise why blog at all?

How much traffic do you get?

I got up to over 250 hits a day on the Beau blog last month but then it suddenly dipped to only 150 for no particular reason. It's creeping back up to 200 again now. My personal blog gets about fifty a day. My photography blog used to get fifty to an hundred then it suddenly and for no apparent reason fell off the Google Image listings. It gets links from Google but not from Google Image. I've no idea why but I now only get about five hits a day on it.

With each of the blogs you can suddenly get surprising peaks when you are linked to from a very popular blog. My personal blog's hits went through the roof one day when I got a link from an Iranian living in Canada who writes a political blog that is very widely read.

I'm actually more interested in those readers who visit regularly rather than those who hit me by accident and never return. There are a couple of readers of two of my blogs who stop by every day and never comment or email but are very loyal. I'd love to know who they are!

What is your rank on technorati?

I've no idea Nia. You're getting very techie all of a sudden!

Has your writing changed since you started blogging?

I'm not sure. perhaps you should ask my readers.

Once you have people who you know reading your blog it is hard to be quite as open.

I think my personal blog is less "raw" and exposing of my emotions and deepest thoughts than it was at the start.

How many hours do you spend online a day?

Too many.

How much time do you spend on your site a day?

Not that long - depends how much I have to write. Though when I have been writing erotica for Beau and Dragonfly Geisha that can get very time consuming.

How do you find new blogs?

From links on other blogs, links to me and comments.

How much reader email do you get?

It varies but can be quite a lot - but nothing like an escort's email inbox I guess!

Emails are always welcome. It's great to know you've written a post that someone has reacted to enough to want to respond. It's also always nice to hear from those who I have developed an online friendship with.

It can get very time consuming though.

What do you think makes a successful blog?

I'm not sure what is a successful blog never mind what makes one. It might be that I wouldn't want to be successful in certain senses.

If there are a regular group who come back and contact me occasionally then I am content to have an audience for my nonsense.

What is your advice for a new blogger?

Just enjoy it. Write honestly - even if with tongue in cheek - and go for it.

(Do take time on the design though - I think it's good to try to make an effort with this but not essential.)

How has blogging changed your life?

I spent a few months abroad a couple of years ago at the invitation of a beautiful female artist who read my blog. A very special time.

I've also met some very real friends some of whom are no longer only online friends.

What blogs do you think deserve wider recognition and why?

I'm not sure I have any to pick out here.

Perhaps Am I Still Me.
Very honest, raw writing with a real purpose.

What are your hobbies?

Photography, writing, the internet, blogging, eating out, eating in.

How has your blog changed over the years?

I have four blogs on the go currently. Beau, a photography blog, a personal blog and a new joint blog - Dragonfly Geisha - with Dragonfly.

I closed the original Beau de Jour blog when I realised it had upset somebody who I was close to.

I want to change the layout of my photography blog into a proper photo-blog when I can get round to it.

The new Dragonfly Geisha blog is more part of a larger concept and it is great fun working collaboratively.

Are you fairly accurate in predicting which of your items will be widely linked?

I'm not sure any of my items are widely linked!

Do you have a background in writing?

Not really.

When do you blog?

It varies but the salacious blogs I write when on my own!

With regard to blogging what was your most memorable moment?

When I received an angry and emotional email from someone I cared for deeply, very upset at discovering herself on my blog (although it was carefully anonymous).

Would you read your site?

Yes. I do. I've found myself enjoying rereading some of the erotica I have written. Though it probably appeals to nobody else!

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Labels: Am I still me, bdsm, Beau, Belle de Jour, Bloggers on blogging, Dragonflygeisha, English courtesan, holes, Interviews, Lazygeisha, married man's fucktoy, Melanie Phillips