Saturday, April 17, 2010

10 things you should never say to a call girl

Tracy Quan has come up with a useful list of ten things you should never say to a call girl.

I have been asked all of the questions, and here is my take on some of them.

10. When someone asks me what my real name is, like Tracy Quan- I think stalker, and they are nosy.

9. When I am asked how much I earn I think they are rude, a pimp, or an inspector.

8. Is my best friend a call girl- I think nosy.

7. I've never paid for sex- sometimes I believe this, and am aware that the person is feeling guilty. In other cases I think he wants me to think he is a good guy.

6. Do you hate men- I think they are trying to stereotype me.

5. Does your family know everything about you- again I think they are crossing the line.

4. Your'e very articulate-trying to stereotype, an expectation that I should be some gibbering airhead.

3. You don't look like a call girl- I am thinking because my dress sense doesn't scream hooker.

Clearly, there are questions that I am asked by some regular clients, that I have a different response to as a different relationship has developed.

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Friday, April 09, 2010

It is not a case of being a hooker or not

Today Tracy Quan explains what the half hooker economy is. The so called semi pros, versus the hard core, real hookers.

It feels like the whole naming and defining debate to me, all over again.

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Sunday, April 04, 2010

Sorry tales from guys hooked on hookers

Just finished reading this article, about guys not getting hooked on hookers.

It reminded me of an old escort friend of mine . She met a client who asked her to leave the industry, and he paid her a huge chunk of cash every month. Set her up in a plush pad in a very expensive part of town, and paid all her other expenses. All that he asked, was that she was available when he was in town, which was only a few times a year.

Well, this wasn't enough for my escort girlfriend. She chose to carry on working, and he discovered her ad in a mag. He challenged her, but he chose to continue to support her, and did so, until she left the industry.Clearly, he was not short of cash, but he could have chosen to spend it elsewhere.

The guys in the article seem to have got a raw deal, and don't sound like happy bunnies.

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Sunday, March 14, 2010

Happy Mothers day


Saturday, February 27, 2010

Belle de Jour on sex education

You can watch Belle de jour's views on sex education here.

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Saturday, January 16, 2010

More of the same why men use prostitutes

I read this article on why men use prostitutes yesterday. I wonder what is new about any of the findings.

I can only speak about my own experience of clients, and what I have picked up from escort friends. Most of my clients don't tell me that they feel guilty,awful, dirty after a booking. There are a few who have talked about their guilt at length. Some will argue that I am not representative of most of the women in the industry.

What I found interesting in the article, is the man who said he would feel cheated, if he knew an escort was enjoying herself. The flip side of the men who say that escorts are too professional.

Or the men who want you to come.

The findings show that most of these men claim that they would stop visiting prostitutes if the new law was enforced, but believe there would be more rapes.

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Thursday, December 24, 2009

Happy Holidays

Wishing you all a happy, peaceful, restful time. For those of you in the UK travelling to visit family and friends, have a safe journey, and hope you make it.

I am so looking forward to putting my feet up over the next few days.

Monday, November 23, 2009

This is old, but I love it British accents

Anyone guess what accent I have?


Saturday, November 21, 2009

Questions for Belle de Jour

Q.You went to extraordinary lengths to stay anonymous; I understand that even your agent didn’t know your true identity. How did you manage that feat?

A.It turns out he did: I forgot that I had shown him an ID when we first met. He reminded me after the Times piece came out. I really believed Patrick didn’t know and therefore would have been incapable of outing me. In the end it turns out he was simply very trustworthy rather than actually kept in the dark. But for the most part, my accountant handled all the details. He set up the shell corporation which received payment for my writing, which then passed on the money to me as dividend payouts.

Q.On your blog recently, you considered whether men or women have it easier in life, and concluded that “if men had it easy, there wouldn’t be prostitutes.” Care to elaborate?

A.While there are many reasons why men go to prostitutes, I noticed a few trends that had to do with women. The inability to ask a partner for kinky sex, for instance, came up more than once. There were a couple of virgins as well, though that is less common now than it once was. And to some extent, my clients were men who were addicted to success. They knew I, as a call girl, would respond positively to their advances, whereas outside of the transaction a woman like me might not. After all, women are widely perceived as the gatekeepers to sex, so in theory they can have it as often as they like, and men do not get a say in that. It’s not universally true of course, but that is a dominant dynamic.

Q.What’s struck you about the controversy in the press that followed your revealing your identity?

A.There seems to be a lot of chatter in the U.K. papers surrounding me, about how my experience was a matter of class — though of course that isn’t strictly true. It can affect the level of agency one has. I suppose it does take a certain amount of awareness of value for someone, even in dire financial straits, to be able to say “I will have sex for £200, not £30.” That confidence can sometimes be more associated with social class, but I think it’s more to do either with education or self-esteem, which are not necessarily related. In any case, the capability either to believe you deserve to be valued more, or to imagine that, is required wherever it comes to payment. In a way I see it as being similar to the question of who believes they are candidates for university education and who does not, regardless of origin or native intelligence.

Q.How do you respond to critics who say your work sanitizes and normalizes prostitution, luring women into a career that is, in their view, inherently ruinous?

A.It’s a pity they think I’m the only one. If I had not written about the experience, I probably could have got away with never telling anyone, which would have been an attractive option — in fact, the one most women in the same situation make. I particularly like the word “luring.” It comes up a lot; must be the evocative, almost onomatopoetic cadence — it sounds so corrupt and oily. And it makes no sense that I would be luring people into this. Where is the advantage for me for even more people to be working as escorts? Shouldn’t I want all the quality clients to myself? They try to have it both ways: that I am an arch materialist only out for as much as I can get, and at the same time, that I am on a recruitment drive. It makes no sense really.

I have always tried to say on the blog and in interviews that prostitution is not a suitable career choice if you have doubts about your ability to handle it. Many women wrote to me asking advice and I tried to discourage most of them. You usually can tell even from an email who had their mind made up and who hasn’t.

Q.What’s a good predictor of being able to “handle it”?

A.Someone who asks about the specifics of the work, rather than how it feels or how I decided to do it. Someone whose requests show they’ve done research already, i.e. “I like Agency x and Agency y, which do you think would look after their girls better?” as opposed to “do you think I can do this without telling my boyfriend?”

Q.SuperFreakonomics profiles a woman, who goes by the name of Allie, a former computer programmer who turned to sex work and is now going back to school to study economics. Does the book’s description of her ring true to you?

A.Yes, very much so. At the time I was writing I was in contact with courtesans who were also blogging, such as Jet Set Lara. The difference between my earnings and theirs was great, but I was probably having more actual sex while they earned far more. It’s also covered in the TV series of my book, in fact –- Billie Piper’s Belle starts earning a lot more when she stops the by-the-hour work and goes independent, setting her rates higher and having fewer clients.

Q.What of the question in SuperFreakonomics, then — why don’t more women take to prostitution?

A.Sex with strangers squicks them out? I’ve noticed a tendency in some of my female friends to rationalize sex decisions they make — a hookup or one-night stand. If they had to do that several times a week, it would be tiring, if not emotionally devastating. Being able to divide sex-for-love and all-other-sex is not something especially usual.

Q.Is it especially strange seeing yourself portrayed on television, considering Piper’s Belle is a kind of double of a double of you?

A.Very. At first it was uncomfortable because the show is an adaptation of the book, so it diverges from me pretty widely — someone even started a Facebook group called “Belle de Jour knows what a palindrome is!” because the character didn’t. But because I was anonymous, I came to view it as an advantage: if people imagined Billie Piper was me, they would start looking for girls like that, rather than girls like me. It was an added measure of obfuscation I came to appreciate.

Q.You quit the escort business in 2004. What kind of work are you doing now?

A.I’m working on an E.U. project that is meant to be translating research into public policy. Specifically, we look at the evidence for pesticide exposures causing neurodevelopmental disorders. There are pesticides which are banned from indoor use in the U.S. for this reason, but they’re still legal in E.U. So my job entails collating that evidence into coherent documents that policymakers would find approachable.

Q.Has anything you learned as a call girl proven useful in your life as a scientist?

A.It taught me a lot about being able to talk to a variety of people with different backgrounds and relating to their points of view. Also the value of listening to them instead of rabbiting on about Fact This and Evidence That quite so much. Also, the power of being a decent-looking blond woman in the world. People may not take you seriously at first but they don’t resent your approach. Once the door is cracked open, it’s up to you to show your value as an intelligent person. Leveraging my sexuality to promote my work? You bet.

Q.Do you expect your outing as Belle de Jour will affect your scientific work?

A.I imagine people will know who I am now, and I’ll have to answer the same three questions over and over. But if I then get to shoehorn in something about the work I do, that’s a price I can put up with.

Q.You’ve written a couple of bestselling books. Which writers do you look up to?

A.I’d love to be a Simon Singh someday, but in terms of my current writing abilities that’s a long way off. It’s a goal though.

Q.So you have a popular science book in the pipeline?

A.Well, I can rabbit on endlessly about chemoinformatics and the problems thereof. Whether anyone would enjoy reading that, outside the small group of people who do it, is another question. But starting with the proposition that if we were to make one of every possible drug-sized molecule that could exist, they would more than fill the entire universe. I think that’s a compelling image and a good place to start when talking about the challenges of drug discovery.

Quotes from A Few Questions for Belle de Jour, Call Girl and Scientist

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Monday, November 16, 2009

Belle de Jour outs herself

She had kept her identity secret for six years, defying millions of readers – and a host of literary experts – who had speculated about the author responsible for one of the internet's most widely read blogs.

But today the mystery was solved when a scientist from Bristol outed herself as Belle de Jour, the former escort behind the anonymous Diary of a London Call Girl.

Dr Brooke Magnanti kept quiet as a string of other writers were credited with her work, but after hearing she was about to be the subject of a Daily Mail exposé, the 34-year-old specialist in childhood cancer decided to reveal she was the real Belle, having worked as a prostitute to fund her PhD studies

Quotes from Belle de Jour revealed at last

This can put to rest all the rumours that Belle de Jour was a man, that Belle de Jour did not work in the industry at all.

I wonder whether she would have come out if the Mail were not going to expose her.

I had never imagined that she was a scientist. Interesting that the article states that loads of women who work in the industry are academics.

Update Related articles:Enough hand wringing on prostitution

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Monday, October 19, 2009

Escorts and advertising

Things have changed for escorts who paid for paper advertising. As far as I know some publications no longer take ads for escorts.

I have never seen cards in phoneboxes where I live. However I have seen them in Westminster.

Well, as I was heading to do my food shop today, I was walking down the high street looking at the posters on the street walls. Wondering what concerts were on, in the next few months.

For the first time ever, I saw a huge poster, and it was an escort agency advertising their girls.

I could not believe what I was seeing, blatant, on the high street.

If Boris Johnson is going to try and block all escort mobile phones for the Olympics; he needs to get his team to get those posters down.

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Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Punternet, Harriet Harman and Arnold Scharwzenegger

I was reading the paper on the way back from work, and came across an article that
Harriet Harman is urging Schwarzenegger to 'terminate' prostitute website.

The website is Punternet where escorts are listed on the database, and where you can find reviews.

The Labour deputy leader told delegates at the Labour conference: "There is now a website… where pimps put women on sale for sex and then men who've had sex with them put their comments online. It is PunterNet and fuels the demand for prostitutes."

Harman said the site was based in California but had "pages and pages" of women for sale in London.

"I've raised it with the US ambassador to London and I've called on California's governor, Arnie Schwarzenegger, to close it down."

Harman said it should not be difficult for the star to "terminate PunterNet".

"And I've got news for him: if he doesn't, I'll be back," she quipped

So G, watch out you could be terminated.

Update Galahad's open letter to Harriet Harman

Galahad's press release

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Friday, September 11, 2009

Men who visit prostitutes and performance

I just came across this article on sexual healing, by a man who is hooked on prostitutes.

What surprised me, was that he could not perform with his girlfriend. I wonder whether it is because he is used to different things from prostitutes, that she cannot provide.

I find it sad, and I guess that is why he has written to an agony aunt.

My understanding is that most of my clients can perform with their wives, it seems that they either want variety, or their wives are not up for it in the way that they are.

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Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Ladies your phone may be cut off before the Olympics

It seems that if you are a London escort and advertise on calling cards in phone boxes, your phone may be cut off before the Olympics.

I read the article and wondered whether the mobile phone networks are able to access every escort in the UK who has a mobile phone.

We shall see.

Fun and games in 2012, for those escorts who will still be on the scene then.

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Friday, July 31, 2009

Dress code

I was on my way to meet some friends yesterday evening. I saw this woman walk by, outside the Royal Garden Hotel.

She looked like she was wearing a black tshirt that was barely covering her ass, black patterned tights,and killer heels. The first thing that I saw as she walked past were her boobs. I took one look at her and thought she is an escort.

She had no care in the world. Walked into the hotel lobby, and all heads were turned. Porters were giggling, reception staff smirking. I wondered how she had the guts to leave her house looking the way she did.

Occasionally a client will request that I wear the shortest skirt or dress possible for a meeting. My response is always find someone else, I will not walk into a hotel dressed like that. Behind closed doors is another story.

It reminds me of the time I went to see Sarah Summers in Leeds. On my last night in Leeds Sarah came to have dinner at my hotel, and claimed most of the women in the restaurant were escorts. I couldn't figure out why.

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Sunday, July 19, 2009

Old flame

I am sorry that I haven't blogged for a while, but I am so knackered after work, all I want to do is sleep.

A few weeks ago on my way back from work, I bumped into my ex boyfriend's best mate. I broke up with E ten years ago. Anyway T, told me that E mentioned me the day before. I haven't seen E in ten years. Anyway, E told T that if he won the lottery, there are two people that he would look after for life, and I happened to be one of them. E said that myself, and another woman are the only genuine women he has dated in his life. E is a player,and has loads of women, and that is the reason that I left him.

T made me promise to call E that night, and I did. He was pleased to hear from me, and insisted on taking me out to dinner on Thursday. It was great to catch up with him, and I am sorry that I haven't kept in touch with him. There are some people that you can carry on with, where you left off, and E is one of them.

With all his flaws, he was there when I needed him. We went through some tough times together, and I shall never forget his support. His mum died in the time that I lost touch with him,and he doesn't seem the same,as he was her favourite. I wish I could have been there for him.

Hope all of you are well.


Sunday, May 31, 2009

This is the sort of client that all escorts dread

A Man who hired an escort to help him celebrate his birthday held a gun to her head and waved a Samurai sword at her a court heard.

In these situations you cannot take risks,the man was acting strangely. Thankfully it was taken to court.

I no longer do outcalls to homes, unless you are a regular.

I am aware this sort of thing could happen in a hotel, but there are more people around in hotels.

I had a friend whose client tried to strangle her in a well known hotel in the West end, the chambermaid heard her scream, and she was saved.

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Sunday, May 17, 2009

Catching up

I am so sorry I haven't blogged in ages. Life has taken over, and I don't have the time to blog in the way that I used to.

My new job is really demanding. I have just come back from a two day conference in Manchester. A number of friends have come to London, and stayed with me. So, I have played tour guide, a number of times which I hate.

Thanks for all your emails saying how much you miss my blog posts.

I haven't read any of the message boards, or other industry blogs for ages, and it has felt great. I have a lot of catching up to do, clearing my inbox is a task in itself.

I still escort,but am very part time. It is a case of synchronising diaries with clients.

So A, I will see you when I see you ,don't worry.


Monday, April 06, 2009

What goes around comes around

I went into work this morning, and during my lunch break one of my colleagues told me that the cow had left.

She became very unpopular, and left last week. I still have not found out whether she was sacked.

Well, well, well.

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Saturday, April 04, 2009

Internet and phone privacy to end in Britain on Monday

Emails, web visits, and mobile phone calls for every person in Britain, will be monitored and stored for a year from Monday.

This Black London escort will go back to snail mail now, and the contents of my emails will change dramatically. I think internet cafes will have an increase in business from Monday. From now on anything private will have to be discussed face to face, with family, friends and clients.

I wonder whether this new law will transform the way some clients communicate with escorts via email or phone?

These are changing times.

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Monday, March 30, 2009

Internet dating sites

I have a number of single friends who are not escorts, who are members of online dating sites. I don't have the guts to join one of these sites. I am pretty old school, and would rather meet someone the old way.

Yet, I have the guts to put up a professional escort site, and meet total strangers and .....

It just doesn't make sense, but I don't see it as the same thing.

*watches a number of readers scratch their heads*

I saw this site in a mag the other day, and could not believe my eyes. A different type of dating site, for people who want to have affairs.

Most of my clients say that it is easier to see an escort than have an affair. I am led to believe that is true for most men who see escorts.

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Saturday, March 28, 2009

Don't forget to switch your lights off

for earth hour tonight at 8.30pm.

Do your bit to save our planet.

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Open university skills classes for escorts and sexworkers

A male escort has organised skills classes for escorts, which will be held in London next month. Sex workers from all over Europe are invited to the event.

I wonder what the attendance will be like, it sounds like a good idea.

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Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Uproar in Switzerland over prostitute's burial

Some women in Switzerland have criticised a well known prostitute being buried close to John Calvin.

"If every woman that had children to raise alone turned to prostitution, the city of Geneva would be a bordello," said Amelia Christinat, a feminist and former member of the Swiss parliament who opposed Real's reburial.

Jacqueline Berenstein-Wavre, the first woman to head Geneva's parliament, also objected.

"No woman should rejoice at this transfer, which is nothing but the elevation of a prostitute and of prostitution in general by its male protectors," she told the daily Tribune de Geneve, which noted the scarcity of women buried in the honored ground, less than a quarter of the 350 graves.

I was not aware that discrimination existed in cemetries, but maybe someone can tell me otherwise.

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Thursday, March 05, 2009

Nia dark and Lovely people watching in London today

I was heading home from work this afternoon,as civvie Nia, not Black London escort Nia. On my way there, I walked passed the Lanesborough hotel, and noticed the paparazzi. I was curious, so asked some of them, who they were waiting for.

They were waiting for Wacko Jacko I have just looked at the urban dictionary definition and it is not quite what I expected.

I have a few of Michael's albums, Off the Wall, Thriller, and Bad. I have never felt that I wanted to go and see him in concert. So, I don't really feel I am one of his fans.

That said, I waited outside the hotel with the Paparazzi and his fans to see if I could get a glimpse of him. It gave me some insight into what the paparazzi and his fans experience. I had a number of conversations with some of the paparazzi. Within half an hour of me standing on a plant pot(it took my weight) at the Lanesborough, he came out. The commotion that took place was unbelievable. The paparazzi are like a bunch of vultures.

I can't remember what happened, whether the minibus that Michael and his entourage were taking to the 02 arena, had the back door open; or whether the paparazzi opened it. Anyway, the door was open, and the paparazzi, were flashing their cameras like there was no tomorrow. The security could not do much for a while, it was amusing to watch.

I must say that all the security were proper hunks with lots and lots of muscle. All men in Black not wearing Armani suits.

I felt sorry for the fans, as the paparazzi got in their way, and some of them didn't get any photos. Poor things had been at the hotel all day waiting.

Something that I have been aware of for many years, is that total strangers, are able to give me confidential information, without me having to ask any questions. Someone in the know,who I had noticed when all the commotion was going on, gave me the lowdown on what happened behind closed doors. I am not easily shocked, but she shocked me.

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Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Never again

I will never have to set my eyes on mad boss again. Today was my last day. She stayed behind to say goodbye. The woman is something else, she told me that I was one of the nicest people that she had ever met in her life. I had to restrain myself for a minute. All that she put me through, she clearly lives on another planet.

I was overwhelmed by the feedback,and gifts I received from the team.Two colleagues baked cakes, and biscuits. It was so sweet. You all know how I love my food.

Since I started at the new job, I have let go of various pieces of work. There are not enough hours in the day, and I found myself shattered at the end of the week. I recognise I am fortunate during these hard times, but if I had carried on with everything, I would become ill.

It has been an experience with that nutter, but I have met some good people within that organisation.

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Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Erotic review owner playing dirty

What is the world coming to.

The owner of the Erotic review site, has been arrested on murder conspiracy charges.

An adult model sued him, and he tried to have her bumped off. This guy also forced an escort to perform oral sex at gunpoint, at some stage.

The lengths that some people will go to.

Well, it seems the long arm of justice has caught up with him.

Sometimes escorts need to think very carefully, about which sites, they advertise on. Some of these site owners are bonkers, and have no morals.

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Tuesday, February 03, 2009

Decide how much you want to pay

I like this restaurant in Farringdon's concept of leaving it to diners to decide how much they want to pay.

I am not sure how much I would pay though, and actually prefer to be given a price, for fear of paying too little.

I think it could be open to abuse, though.

I wonder whether any London escort will go down this route?

It is bad enough having to deal with all the hagglers and men who quibble about prices, in the escort industry. Something that I had to deal with when I first started escorting.

I can see it now, an escort who is offering all services ie no holes barred, and lets the client decide how much he wants to pay. The client walks away without paying a penny.

Some escorts are willing to try anything to get more business, good luck to them.

I will go to this restaurant in Farringdon, and give you feedback on my meal.

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Monday, February 02, 2009

Snowed in

I woke up this morning thinking that I could get to work. I have just come back from the tube station, and no lines are running. I have just called my boss, and she was amazed that I tried to get to work. She laughed at me, and said that I should not have bothered. Well, as it is not the first time it has snowed in London, I imagined public transport would be working.

Wouldn't you?

I wonder what the gritters were doing last night, as they clearly have not been out where I live.

Apparently if the weather is the same tomorrow, no work for me.My boss has told me she does not expect me at work tomorrow either. So, today and tomorrow will be DVD days.

I just wish I had not got up so early today.

Stay tucked in.

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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Change has come

What a wonderful day.


Saturday, January 10, 2009

The numbers on prostitution and sex in the UK don't add up

Tim Harford has an interesting analysis, on the BBC radio four programme, on Mathematics, the numbers that have been released on prostitution in the UK are not clear.

The radio programme is only available for a few more days, so listen to it while it is on air.

Some of the numbers are

  1. 80% of Prostitutes, escorts are controlled. This is a figure Fiona Mctaggart has come up with.

  2. Julia O 'Connell Davidson challenges this view as she says that 80% of the sexworkers who were described by receptionists in flats, brothels or agencies were described as foreign.Does this mean that they are controlled?

  3. In 2006, 515 raids were carried out on brothels over 4 months in Operation Pentameter. There were 232 arrests and 84 women were rescued.

  4. There were 822 raids in Operation Pentameter two, and 167 women were identified. The raids suggest that less than 80% of the women were trafficked.

  5. There are supposed to be 80,000 prostitutes/escorts working in the UK. These numbers are based on research that was done ten years ago.

  6. There are supposed to be 25,000 sex slaves in the UK.

  7. 70% of London's off street prostitutes/escorts are foreign nationals.

Do politicians and academics choose their data to support their stance?

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