Sunday, November 19, 2006

Regular clients a mixed blessing for escorts

I sometimes feel that I would prefer all my clients to be regulars. They are loyal. Purely, from a psychological perspective, it is easier for me to deal with regulars. However, I find that occasionally the boundaries do get blurred. Guys sometimes want that bit more, and it is not possible. It becomes awkward as these are people that I have been seeing for a while, and I have to be quite sensitive as to how I spell out what is and is not likely to happen. I admit that over time, I lower my defenses which I feel is inevitable, but can be problematic.

I had two regulars last year, who tried to pull a fast one on me. I was stunned.

Should I have expected this?

They are on my blacklist.

I am aware that there are some regulars who if I met them in another context, I would spend time with. I think it can be a challenge to work within this framework, without being labelled as cold, a clock watcher or just in it for the money.

Trying to keep the relationship commercial is tricky. Some guys I meet feel that it is personal, and the thing is, people that I have personal relationships with do not pay me. The relationship with a client is intimate, two people relating to each other. At some point, someone may tend to see things for more than what they are.

I have had clients who helped me out with advice on certain things, and have refused payment. There has been no expectation that I pay them in kind.

I do give my regulars more leeway than non regulars.

I know that some escorts get round this problem by stating that they will only see regular clients for a limited number of times, which I think is a sensible policy.Escorts are entitled to set rules that fit, for them.

I had a conversation about this with a friend who is a male escort and he felt that there were two kinds of regulars.

Static regulars who know what they want, never change, are loyal and you want to keep forever; and who are accordingly very rare.

Escalating regulars who start out as a good thing but either end up wanting you to move in with them (so they can look after you) or who meet you at the door one day brandishing a riding crop and saying

"I thought we would do a bit of spanking! You do not mind if I come in your eyes after I have leathered you, do you?"

who are more common, but finite, and who someone you thought was a static may suddenly metamorphose into an escalating at any moment.

I can identify with my friend's view. Suddenly an expectation that I will provide something that is not on offer. A sudden need for me to take an A level exam when I have no interest in that whatsoever. A client once said to me

" But you do that with your boyfriend, so why not with me ?"

My response " I don't think so honey." I spared him the long spiel of how he could never be my boyfriend.

Bringing the conversation back into the here and now, remember why we are here, some clients find difficult to take on board.

I love my regulars but someone has to maintain a business framework, and deal with expectations (realistic or not) and implement the boundaries with kindness and respect.

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I never really wanted to be anyone's "regular". This was about excitement for me, and the sample platter was filled with far too many options.

Only when a girl really "clicked" with me (sexually) did I desire to come back and see her. Those were situations where either the experience was extremely erotic for me, or there was more sexual exploration I wanted to do with her. One girl in particular made it obvious that there was more to accomplish in further meetings. And there was!

I did see a great many ladies who included (in their ad) the stated desire to build regular relationships with their clients. But I never paid that any mind. So, she desires to see only a regular clientele?...Big deal. That isn't what I want. It is a two-way street, after all.

The main reason I did not want to keep seeing girls into perpetuity was the fact that it is very hard not to become very attached to certain people when involved in intimate situations like these. There were certainly some girls who I found myself sexually and emotionally attracted to, but clearly this was a subculture type of relationship, and this subculture had no place in my everyday world.
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