Thursday, August 28, 2008

Nia dark and Lovely feeling up today

You all know about my hard times at work. Well, I have been applying for jobs, and went for an interview last week.

I have a mega problem with nerves at interviews, and start shaking, and twitching. It is incredible. The last interview I went to, I was penalised because of my nervousness. They could not understand how someone with my level of experience could be so nervous. I don't drink or do drugs, so can't take something to calm me down, beforehand.

What is strange, is when I was younger I took the lead in plays, and sang in clubs, and was not nervous then.

Anyway, I went for this interview last week, and part of the interview was a written test. I could do it on the computer or write it manually. I was given a nightmare scenario, and then asked to respond to it. I said that I would respond to it on the computer. As soon as I put my fingers on the keyboard, my hands started shaking like I had Parkinsons disease. The woman who had taken me into the room was so startled, she put her hand on my shoulder. I was so embarassed. I told her I would write my response manually, and as she left I calmed down. I had twenty minutes in which to do it, and completed the task in a quarter of the time.

I was then whisked away to another building for the panel interview. The chair of the panel was friendly, and joked with me. My nerves disappeared, which is a first for me. I got a good vibe from the rest of the panel. I felt I could answer all the questions fully. I was aware that when I told one of the panel about my work, that she was holding back the tears. I work at the high end in my industry.

I walked away pleased with my performance, even if I was not offered the job.

I was offered the job today. They said they were very impressed with my performance. I can vary the start date, as I want to get my fat ass onto some sandy beach with palm trees, and white sands before the end of the year. They were okay with this, and said that I was such a good candidate, I could choose whenever I wanted to start, as they were willing to wait. It has done wonders for my self esteem. I will still be working within my field, but in a new area. It will look great on my CV.

What this means is that I will have less time for escorting. My availability will be evenings and weekends, no more weekday appointments, when I start. The exception will be regulars who book in advance for overdays or overnights, in which case I will skive .

My plan is to keep my other job, as I can combine the two. The reason why I am hanging onto the other job, is that I am hoping for a redundancy package.

Big thanks to Mr Quality/performance management for the pep talk before my interview. You know who you are.

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Monday, August 25, 2008

Escorts and Outcalls

I have just read Sarah Summer's hilarious post on the glory of the outcall. One of the things I love about Sarah is her ability to laugh at some of these situations. I think she is a saint, with some of the stuff that she puts up with from clients. I think she raises an important point when she says

when you have travelled thirty miles plus, and have to travel back the same mileage, you sometimes go through with it rather than cut your losses and retain your dignity.

It reminds me of the time I went on an outcall ,which I discussed in the risks that clients who see escorts take and getting caught in the act post.

I remember going to see a client in his home, and as he opened the door I started sneezing. I am sensitive to dust, and his place had obviously not been cleaned in months. I sat down on the sofa, and started sneezing again. At this point, I was thinking there was no way that anything would take place. I spoke to him for a while, and my assessment of him was that he had severe and enduring mental health issues. This was not something that came across on the phone. I left, only to discover that two of my escort friends, who worked for escort agencies in London, had been to see him that day. He had chased them down the road.They had both mentioned this client, when we had coffee that evening. I came away from his house itching, and threw away everything that I wore.

I have only been stopped once at a hotel, since I have been escorting. It was a hotel on the Strand. I went to an outcall at about 3am. I tend not to go on late night outcalls these days, unless prearranged. Anyway, as I walked into the hotel, I had a long coat on. The little man on reception starts hollering "Madam, madam". I ignored him, walked straight to the lift, and saw my client. Two hours later, I came down to the lobby, and smiled and winked at the little man on my way out.

I have an Arab escort friend who has been asked to produce her passport,at some hotels on Park Lane, in London. I am surprised as she was taken to Arabia by some prince to live in a harem for a number of years. When these princes come to London for their holidays, she lives in these hotels for months, until they leave. The staff know her, so I don't understand it.

She has no problem showing her identity, I have never been asked for my passport at a hotel. The thing is, that I don't walk around with my passport in my bag, unless I am taking a flight. I am aware that there are some hotels that have this policy on Park Lane.

I used to have regular outcalls at a particular hotel on Park Lane, always after midnight. Whenever I walked in, I always bumped into a cleaner hoovering the carpet. I felt really awkward as she must have figured out what was going on. Such is life.

I heard of a case where the concierge at a hotel in Knightsbridge, literally runs down the corridor after escorts who come into the hotel, harassing them.

Fortunately, I don't have problems with hotel outcalls, as a Black escort in London.





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Friday, August 22, 2008

Punters who say they are not punters but visit escorts

I have seen a number of clients who have told me they are not punters(an escort's client).

Interesting, as they have come to see me,pay me, and I am an escort.

However, I think what some of these men mean is that it is a one off experience. So in their eyes they are not punters, john's, hobbyists, or clients.

What I find hilarious is the men who say they are not punters, but visit escorts regularly.

What is their definition of punters?

Is this some form of denial?

I feel some people need to maintain a self-concept that enables them to do this, without feeling guilty or ashamed.

I feel it is the same when some women protest on messageboards, and say they are not Working girls, or prostitutes.

As Peridot Ash says in her post on Sex addiction is not a hobby , their delusion is good business for me.

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Friday, August 15, 2008

I think I put my foot in it with one of my regulars

I was just reading Chevalier's post on prying, and it reminded me of something that happened recently with one of my regulars.

I am open with some of my clients, if I feel comfortable. I have a dinner date with one of my regular clients whenever he is in London.

I have mentioned here about how unsettled I feel about situations with clients that would be too close too comfort.

Most of my regular clients know more about me than my other clients, it is inevitable. Something happened recently with a regular client, that taught me a lesson, but was not something that I could have predicted.

We were catching up on what we both had been up to since we last met. X works all over the world, and has several homes in various countries. An ex partner of mine, used to live in one of the cities that X has a home in, and is in the same profession. I had never mentioned this to X before, but did at our last date. He asked me what my ex partner's name was, and I told him. I watched his face turn a dark shade of red, and then he nervously said that it was a small world. Clearly, he was very uncomfortable with this information, but I had no idea he would know my ex, when I told him.

I think I have lost him. His body language spoke volumes. He was one of my first clients, and I have seen him consistently since I started. I wonder whether I should have been open with him.

Such is life, I guess.

If it feels too close for comfort, it is time to call it a day.

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Friday, August 08, 2008

Escorts, timewasters,emails, and phonecalls

I have mentioned how I thin slice to avoid timewasters here. These days as I go through my emails, I can tell in a few seconds which emails are timewasters, and hit the delete button. Clearly some of these people have not read my website, as if they had they would realise I am not suitable for their requests.

In a few cases where I have decided to give some people a chance, they have proved to be timewasters. So I stick to my rules, and when certain keywords or phrases are used via email or on the phone, I switch off.

Here are some samples of timewaster emails that I have received.

Subject:Meeting

Dear Nia,
Hi. Had a look at yr web site, you are gorgeus....., I am visiting london by 9th of Aug, can we be bed partners for few hours. I will be near Heathrow. And what services you provide. I prefer everything "WO" but what do you?. And of course yr charges for pleasure will be how much, its going to be hotel visit.
Hoping for a favourable response.
Bye.


Subject:Hi


where u from how old r u how much

Subject:Enquiry

Hi Nia

I would like to make an appointment with you to come and see you for approximately 1-2 hours.I have a fantasy and I was hoping that you would be able to make it come true for me. I wish to be dominated by a beautiful young black lady just like yourself, as I believe black women are the most beautiful women in the world!Here are spome of the things I was hoping you do to me:Sit on my face Being told to lick your pussy Being told to lick your arsehole Have a dildo in my mouth so that you can pleasure yourself! Being told what to do for a couple of hours!! To be totally at your mercy!! Will you also do Watersports and Hardsports on my face?? I am aware that this is a specialist service I totally understand if you are not willing to provide this.I'm a 29 year old white guy who is looking for his life long fantasy to become true. Will you help me Nia??I look forward to hearing from you.

Subject:none

hi honey,

im 34 years old.im gonna stay in london.i was hoping for some exitment when i was there. You see i have this fantasy about having sex with a beautiful woman like yourself dressed in nice skirt,black silk stockings and high heels. My fantasy is to have sex in some public place like at the airport or maybe at a toilet in a restaurant, or maybe some other exiting place.Would it be possible for you to help me out. Im willing to pay very well please

Subject:Outcall request

Hi Nia,

We are 2 professional guys in our late forties coming to the UK next month from Canada. Staying at a 4*hotel near Heathrow and are looking for alittle R&R with a sexy lady. Would be outcall for 4 hoursfrom 6PM but will provide food and refreshments. Even we can't go on all the time! No holes barred and DP an important part of the sensual experience for us.Spit-end roasting too and we like CIM. We love experienced gals and you look the part. We are experienced and sensual guys and will want to make it fun for you too.So are you available those days? Does the proposal sound interesting?We hope so..

Subject:Fetish

Hi There

I am a submissive male with a fetish which i was hoping you could maybe help with.My dream is to have a dominant woman tie my arms behind my back, gag me, and then sit fullweight and fully clothed on my face (preferablyin pvc) and ignore me completely whilst she watches a movie. Then when the movie is finished just get up and leave me tied up and gagged inthe hotel room and go home.Is this something you would be happy doing, or is it a bit much? Iwould be happy to pay more than your standard fee if it is something you would consider?

Subject:Nia

Dra Nia, I am a huge fan of yours, I think you're beautiful and you have the most incredible body and although I'm yet to ever go with an escort, when I see your photos it really makes me want to pick up the phone! I think its incredibly sexy that you're an escort, I seriously do, a beautiful lady having that much sex, being desired by so many, guys queuing up to be with you and paying for your time.... there's something so erotic about it all. I don't know if you enjoy the job, I guess someday's are better than others, but if I was a girl I think it would be fun for the most part! How long do you think you'll stay doing escort work for, what are you plans when you stop? Whatever they are, I wish you well, I'm so tempted to call but I don't think I could go through with it, as much as your beauty tempts me, I wouldn't want to waste your time. I'd love to meet up outside of work to talk to you about your experiences at work, but I doubt that would be possible, but I'm fascinated about the stories you could tell. I'd also like to take your photo (not naked or weird!), just a regular portrait as I'm an artist and I think that I could capture some of the truth within you. If it was at all possible I would appreciate a bit of your time, nothing weird, just the opportunity to meet you and take your portrait. I find you fascinating, with my best wishes,



Peridot Ash has a post on clients who want freebies, and Bettina has a good post on how many times do clients try calling escorts before they give up.

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Thursday, August 07, 2008

Nia dark and lovely hung up on age

I met a lovely man a few months ago. He is not a client, but definitely someone who I would like to see more of, and I know he is interested. The problem, is that he is younger than me. I have a hang up about dating men who are younger than me. I don't want to be a cradle snatcher, and feel uncomfortable with it.

The thing is, if I was to date someone younger than me, who didn't tell me his age, and looked older, I wouldn't have a problem with it. However, if I know how old he is beforehand, that spoils it.

I saw him yesterday, and asked him how old he was, and yes he is younger than me. He asked me how old I was, and I told him I was in my fifties. This is ridiculous, and I made the man laugh, because I still have a long way to go before I hit fifty. That was my way of putting him off, and I added that I was old enough to be his mother.He thought I was pulling his leg, but was not sure. He is still interested, but sadly it can never work, as I know how old he is.

When I see clients who are younger than me, I am not at ease, but do not turn them away. Funnily enough, 90% of the men who book me are older.

Somewhere in my mind, I have a construct that says that it is not acceptable to have relationships with men who are younger than me. However, I tend to attract a lot of younger men.

Am I an ageist?

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Tuesday, August 05, 2008

Tag:Gratitude

I have been tagged by Peridot Ash.

I have to write a post on my blog with a list of five things that I am grateful for. There are lots of things that I am grateful for, but I will stick to five, as that is the point of the game.

Then tag some other bloggers. Here is my list.

  1. I am grateful that I have my mother and value the relationship that I have with her.

  2. I am grateful that I was able to be by my friend's bedside as she passed over into the spirit world.

  3. I am grateful for all the close friends that I have, who have stood by me through thick and thin.

  4. I am grateful for my health.

  5. I am grateful that I had access to a good education.

I tag Gillette,

Madam Butterfly

Bettina

Chevalier

David

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Monday, August 04, 2008

Do I tell someone that I have a relationship with that I have been an escort

Chevalier has a thought provoking post, on whether you need to tell a potential partner that you have been an escort or a client.

The issues for me, are similar to what I raised in between you, me and the bedpost.

In an ideal world, my response would be yes. However, in my relationships outside this industry, the majority of my partners have not been able to deal with any information, about men that I have dated before them. They start off wanting the information, but further down the road, are insecure about what I have told them. I then regret having been open and honest.

A case of the fragile male ego. Theoretically they can handle it, but not in practice.

I have no problem not knowing about their past, I am interested in the here and now.If they choose to tell me about their past, that is fine. However, I don't feel it is essential, in order for us to have a relationship. Sometimes, the information is shared, naturally.

Given that none of my friends or family know that I am an escort, it is highly unlikely that I will tell a potential partner that I have been an escort.

My take on it is, that if a potential partner has visited escorts before he met me, that is his business.

Do I need to know?

No.

I feel he does not need to know that I was an escort, as my experience is that most men I have had relationships with, cannot deal with the fact that I have slept with other men before them.

My policy in relationships, is that I don't need to know everything about my partner's past. I tend to deal with the here and now.

Some things are better left unsaid, and I am aware we all have skeletons in our closets.

That is how I operate.

Call me dishonest?

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Saturday, August 02, 2008

Ulysses

Ulysses, first made contact in 2006, but we had difficulty finding space in our diaries. I knew he occasionally saw black escorts, or asian escorts. What I was aware of, was most of the escorts that he had seen were petite, young bimbos. Those of you that I have met, know that I have a medium build and a fat ass. So, I was intrigued when Ulysses made contact. I enjoyed the email exchanges leading up to our meeting, as this man definitely had a naughty sense of humour. He made it clear that he had varied tastes, so we set up a meeting.We finally met this year. It amazes me when clients still have escorts on their wishlists for years.

Ulysses, is a cross between Hugh Grant and Colin Firth. I opened the door, and looked into his sparkling blue eyes, and the glint in his eyes said it all. Sometimes words do not need to be spoken. This was one of those occasions where it was pure body talk and nothing else.
  1. Stroking
  2. Touching
  3. Licking
  4. Probing
  5. Gentle Kissing
  6. Giggling
  7. Warmth
  8. Deep and slow penetrative sex.

I realised when he left, that we had ran over, but there was something about his vibe that made me lose track of time. What a gentle, lovely man.

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Friday, August 01, 2008

If only they knew why some escorts blog anonymously

Peridot Ash has a great post on anonymous escort bloggers.

I have just read if only they knew, a must read for all clients by an anonymous escort blogger.

She is straight to the point, but clearly did not feel she could be open about her identity in her post. I can see why, having read Peridot's post about angry clients ,who have problems with what some escort bloggers write.

It reminds me of something I heard recently, from an escort friend in Spain ,where a client was so angry about something he read on an escort blog, he took his anger out on her. She is not a blogger, but an escort, and his anger was displaced.

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