Thursday, August 07, 2008
Nia dark and lovely hung up on age
I met a lovely man a few months ago. He is not a client, but definitely someone who I would like to see more of, and I know he is interested. The problem, is that he is younger than me. I have a hang up about dating men who are younger than me. I don't want to be a cradle snatcher, and feel uncomfortable with it.
The thing is, if I was to date someone younger than me, who didn't tell me his age, and looked older, I wouldn't have a problem with it. However, if I know how old he is beforehand, that spoils it.
I saw him yesterday, and asked him how old he was, and yes he is younger than me. He asked me how old I was, and I told him I was in my fifties. This is ridiculous, and I made the man laugh, because I still have a long way to go before I hit fifty. That was my way of putting him off, and I added that I was old enough to be his mother.He thought I was pulling his leg, but was not sure. He is still interested, but sadly it can never work, as I know how old he is.
When I see clients who are younger than me, I am not at ease, but do not turn them away. Funnily enough, 90% of the men who book me are older.
Somewhere in my mind, I have a construct that says that it is not acceptable to have relationships with men who are younger than me. However, I tend to attract a lot of younger men.
Am I an ageist?
The thing is, if I was to date someone younger than me, who didn't tell me his age, and looked older, I wouldn't have a problem with it. However, if I know how old he is beforehand, that spoils it.
I saw him yesterday, and asked him how old he was, and yes he is younger than me. He asked me how old I was, and I told him I was in my fifties. This is ridiculous, and I made the man laugh, because I still have a long way to go before I hit fifty. That was my way of putting him off, and I added that I was old enough to be his mother.He thought I was pulling his leg, but was not sure. He is still interested, but sadly it can never work, as I know how old he is.
When I see clients who are younger than me, I am not at ease, but do not turn them away. Funnily enough, 90% of the men who book me are older.
Somewhere in my mind, I have a construct that says that it is not acceptable to have relationships with men who are younger than me. However, I tend to attract a lot of younger men.
Am I an ageist?
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No, you are not ageist. You are being cautious...even sensible !
Most of my clients are either about my age or older... yes some are younger and that is fine, but like you, I do have a problem with guys who are too young.. having said that, I do seem to remember one or two who are very young, but since I have seen them several times, the age thing does not seem to be relevant any more..
Working girls are damned if they tell their true age and damned if they don't.
Most of my clients are either about my age or older... yes some are younger and that is fine, but like you, I do have a problem with guys who are too young.. having said that, I do seem to remember one or two who are very young, but since I have seen them several times, the age thing does not seem to be relevant any more..
Working girls are damned if they tell their true age and damned if they don't.
Why aren't you at ease when you see younger clients? Sigh, young guys are in a losing battle when it comes to being with older women and I guess that means society wins. I hate you society!
# posted by 
:
Fri Aug 08, 05:23:00 pm
:
Fri Aug 08, 05:23:00 pm
Young guy,
Thank you for stopping by. I am not at ease because I have hang ups. I guess it may be something to do with my upbringing. I still see young guys, though. I don't have anything on my site that says I don't see men of a certain age. However if an eighteen year old turned up, I don't think I could go through with it.
Thank you for stopping by. I am not at ease because I have hang ups. I guess it may be something to do with my upbringing. I still see young guys, though. I don't have anything on my site that says I don't see men of a certain age. However if an eighteen year old turned up, I don't think I could go through with it.
Nia.............it is pride and potential self doubt IMO.
I'm one of those "older" guys LOL.......in my fifties.
I once saw a very young WG and caught a glimpse of us both in a mirror...............I was mortified.
I think it odd that anyone would want to see, on a regular basis, a person much older or younger than themselves. Curiosity is the only reason as I see it.
You have little in common for one thing and the ageing thing is bound to be in the mind too...........it draws attention to age.
When I am with someone more or less my own age I forget about it.
Grumpy Old Man
I'm one of those "older" guys LOL.......in my fifties.
I once saw a very young WG and caught a glimpse of us both in a mirror...............I was mortified.
I think it odd that anyone would want to see, on a regular basis, a person much older or younger than themselves. Curiosity is the only reason as I see it.
You have little in common for one thing and the ageing thing is bound to be in the mind too...........it draws attention to age.
When I am with someone more or less my own age I forget about it.
Grumpy Old Man
# posted by :
Fri Aug 08, 06:20:00 pm
:
Fri Aug 08, 06:20:00 pm
GOM,
Thank you for your comments.
Age is in the mind. However once I know, I feel very uncomfortable.
Sometimes I can tell when I meet them, right away, but I still see them.
Maybe I need to put something on my site, I am thinking about it.
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Thank you for your comments.
Age is in the mind. However once I know, I feel very uncomfortable.
Sometimes I can tell when I meet them, right away, but I still see them.
Maybe I need to put something on my site, I am thinking about it.
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