Friday, August 15, 2008

I think I put my foot in it with one of my regulars

I was just reading Chevalier's post on prying, and it reminded me of something that happened recently with one of my regulars.

I am open with some of my clients, if I feel comfortable. I have a dinner date with one of my regular clients whenever he is in London.

I have mentioned here about how unsettled I feel about situations with clients that would be too close too comfort.

Most of my regular clients know more about me than my other clients, it is inevitable. Something happened recently with a regular client, that taught me a lesson, but was not something that I could have predicted.

We were catching up on what we both had been up to since we last met. X works all over the world, and has several homes in various countries. An ex partner of mine, used to live in one of the cities that X has a home in, and is in the same profession. I had never mentioned this to X before, but did at our last date. He asked me what my ex partner's name was, and I told him. I watched his face turn a dark shade of red, and then he nervously said that it was a small world. Clearly, he was very uncomfortable with this information, but I had no idea he would know my ex, when I told him.

I think I have lost him. His body language spoke volumes. He was one of my first clients, and I have seen him consistently since I started. I wonder whether I should have been open with him.

Such is life, I guess.

If it feels too close for comfort, it is time to call it a day.

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Ah......... I fear you have indeed lost him.

No point in telling you off, you are probably already doing that to yourself

You know I think you are wonderful, one little mistake is allowed. Go buy yourself some chocolate now, this instant !

I stumbled upon your blog while browsing for information on the escort industry.

As a matter of fact, my girlfriend is an escort (and has been for a while) and since we started dating I was wondering if other people have a hard time coping with this.

She was actually surprised I took it so well when she told me, and it make me realize some people might have troubles with it.

Thus, I started this blog, where you can read about our endeavors and stories.

I had a good time reading your blog, I still have a lot to catch up but I'll surely do it when I've got the time.

Feel free to visit and share your thoughts about our situation, if you are interested.

Thank you for your comments.

I had no idea he would react in the way he did. I will keep my mouth shut next time. No chocolate for me, as I a recovering from my nightmare at the dentist.


Thank you for stopping by.
Everyone makes mistakes Nia.

Actually, I don't think you made w mistake really. What you did was part of normal conversation and soetimes things get said that shouldn't be said.

I sometimes think that both clients and WGs are oversensitive about what to say and what not to say.

That is silly; we are humans and if a guy and his WG like each other then careless comments should be tolerated.......IM Very HO LOL

I'd hate to think a WG refrained from saying stuff because she thought I'd react like that.

As a client, if I were in that position I'd accept it; I'd realise that the WG had miscalculated. Simple.

His problem not yours; apart from the lost client, of course LOL.

Grumpy Old Man
Thank you for your comments GOM,

The difficulty is being spontaneous,real and not having to have loads of cover stories. I tend to loosen up with some of my regulars.

I have learned from it, and will withold some information from now on.

I know what you mean though, in your humble opinion,lol.
The thing is Nia you have to keep it real to make it worthwhile......otherwise it is just a "punt"............but you have to keep it within a bubble; that's what I call the boundaries.

If you work at keeping the reality within the bubble (a nicer way to describe boundaries) then conversations such as you describe should never be an issue....they stay separate from your day to day life.

They would stay within that defined area......that fantasy that becomes reality just for those few hours together.

It means that that magic place that is within those boundaries can be treated as though it is real...........for that finite period you are together.

Lose the spontaneity and you lose that magic.

I hope, at least, some of this makes just a smidgeon (what a nice word ha!) of sense.

Both client and WG gain from doing that IMO.....not so humble this time, Nia LOL.....I think clients, especially, forge that.

I'm probably talking bollocks...........I keep cutting, editing and hoping that it doesn't end up as garbage.

Grumpy Old Man

You make a lot of sense, and are not talking bollocks IMHO.

There are different types of punts though, lol.

Some of my cients demand that they see the real me, whatever that means,lol.

Others don't need or want to, and that is cool with me.
Ooooh...not good when they turn red (smiles). But you never know. You have just as much to keep discreet as does he. It does get to be a small world, though, doesn't it?
Hi Nia,
although it was a business relationship it seems you'd met the guy many times and inevitably things deepen into a form of friendship. Is it the rather abrupt ending of a friendship that you regret or what you see as your lack of vigilance that prompted it ?

Don't be hard on yourself because, as has been said elsewhere, it was his choice to react the way he did. Unless it's an illogical response he has his reasons, but he also had other choices.

Thank you for your comments. It is a very small world. You are right, we both have something to lose, and I trust him.


Thank you for stopping by.

It is my lack of vigilance that I regret. He is someone who I got on well with, and who was no trouble whatsoever.
My (belated) condolences.

Although I don't think what you did should necessarily scare off a client.

A few years ago, I had an appointment with a lady. I don't recall exactly how it came up, but she knew what firm I worked at. She asked if I happened to know "X." I did know him . . . and her mentioning him made me feel uncomfortable for a bit.

But when I thought about it some more, I wasn't as concerned. She had clarified that she knew him in a totally different context, and presumably he was unaware of her participation in P4P. And I knew her well enough to think that she might mention knowing certain people in "real life" . . . but was very unlikely to mention a client's name. So, I knew about him, but he didn't know about me.

I've seen her many, many times since then. The discomfort didn't last too long.

It sounds as though your regular may not have been able to reach the same point that I did, which is sad. But it doesn't mean that what you did was a serious violation of etiquette. In my opinion, anyway.

Thank you for your comments. I don't think my regular wanted to reach the point you did. I can understand that. Maybe he needs to feel he is dealing with someone who has no connections with his life.

It was my Ex, who I am no longer with. Furthermore, my ex does not know I escort.
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