Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Nia dark and lovely on blogging

It is one year since I started blogging. How time does fly. Chevalier has been on my case to do my own interview. I gave him my word, so have to honour that.
What is the first weblog I came across?
I think it was Postmodern courtesan, which no longer exists.
Why did I start blogging?
It was not something that I gave much thought to. I have a side to my personality that is impulsive. I decided that I would give it a go one day, and did. I have found that it can be therapeutic, to put my thoughts down. I like the fact that I can write what I like, and noone can censor me.
Which blogs do I read?
I read all the blogs on my sidebar.My favourites are Beau, Caitie Mae, Chevalier, Compartments, English Courtesan, Gillette, and Joanne of Leeds and Mercurial girl.
I miss Glengarry Leads, Memoirs of a Whoremonger, and the Petulant Pooner, who have all stopped blogging.
What appeals to me about the blogs I read?
The bloggers personality, and passion shines through. Their blogs are informative, interesting, amusing in some instances, controversial,thoughtful, and honest.
Whose writing do I particularly admire?
I admire Jeff Jarvis, Rebecca Blood Negrophile, Maya Angelou, Khalil Gibran and John Steinbeck.
In my reading do I seek out different points of view ?
I like to read books or blogs that challenge my way of thinking, and feel this is the only way that I can learn.
How do I choose items to link?
I link to articles or blogs that interest me, annoy me, amuse me or that I find informative.
What is my policy on comments?
My comments are moderated to avoid spam.
Do I ever receive abusive comments , how do I handle it ?
I have received one abusive comment, since I started blogging. The comment was nothing to do with my blog, but someone who wanted to draw me into an argument, on one of the blogs on my sidebar. I felt it was irrelevant, and did not post it. My policy on abusive comments, is that I am happy to post them, if they are not posted by anonymous commenters.
Where do I find interesting links?
I find interesting links on other blogs, and via the search engines.
Do I ever write to provoke a reaction, how do I do that ?
I don't think I do, however I somehow manage to provoke a reaction.
How much traffic do I get?
When I started blogging, I had 50 unique visits a day, it is now 100 to 300 a day. My traffic is dependent on my blog posts, and who links to me.
What is my rank on Technorati?
It is 395,824.
Has my writing changed since I started blogging?
I think I am more confident, and clearer than when I began. My readers may have another view.
How many hours do I spend online a day?
It varies, it could be anything from one to six hours a day. It depends, my dayjob, requires that I spend sometime on line.
How much time do I spend on my site a day?
An hour a day. It sometimes is more than that,if I have to do lots of research for a blog post.
How many blogs do I read?
All the blogs on my sidebar. I used to read them all daily, but no longer have the time to do that.
How do I find new blogs?
I find new blogs, from other blogs, and reader comments.
How much reader email do I get?
I get five to ten reader emails a week.
What do I think makes a successful blog?
I think a succesful blog is original, engaging, informative and focused.
What is my advice for a new blogger?
Read Rebecca Blood's book.
Rebecca's article on weblog ethics is essential.
Have a purpose for your blog. Do not post when you are angry. Read other blogs. Write for yourself, and not for the audience.Be yourself, be patient, and voice your opinion. Link as much as you can, as it gives readers information, and good content will bring in traffic. If someone says something bad about you, link to it and answer. Remember what you write is available to the public.Be honest. If you copy and paste, or use a piece from a website or blog, link to it. If you do not, you will get caught. Word travels quickly on the web and blogosphere, and it does not help your reputation.
How has blogging changed my life?
I have formed friendships with some of my blog readers.
What blogs do I think deserve wider recognition and why?
I am so behind on my reading at the moment, I can't answer the question.
What are my hobbies?
Cooking when I am in the mood. Going to concerts, eating out, reading, watching movies,learning languages, and travelling.
How has my blog changed over the year?
I think I have moved away from writing about personal issues, to commentary.
Am I fairly accurate in predicting which of my items will be widely linked?
I have no idea why some posts are linked to, more than others.
Do I have a background in writing?
No
When do I blog?
At the start of my day, mainly or when I have the time.
With regard to blogging what was my most memorable moment?
There have been several moments. I did a book review here, and the author came in to comment.
I had been mentioned on another blog. I was able to agree to disagree with the blogger here, in a civilised manner. The author of the blog came in and gave her comments.
I had covered an article , and the owner of the escort agency came in here to correct me.
Discovering that bloggers who I admire and respect have linked to me on their blogs, and realising that I have a core group of returning readers.
Would you read your site?
Oh yes. I have 254 posts to date, lots of comments, and 55,000 visits.
Thank you all for reading.
Labels: Beau, Black escort, Bloggers on blogging Interviews, Caitiemae, Chevalier, Compartments, English courtesan, Escort agencies, Ex-Courtesan in transition, Friction, Joanne of Leeds
Monday, May 21, 2007
Caitie Mae on Blogging
What is the first weblog you came across?
The first time I can recall a blog having any significant meaning to me was when I discovered indecentblogging.com. It was a social erotic blogging network that hosted some very enjoyable writers and personalities. Dirty Boys Dirty Thoughts was an instant favorite. Luckily, Roger transplanted his dirty thoughts successfully to a new host when Indecent Blogging was overrun with spam.
Why did you start blogging?
When I started my first blog, a Wordpress engine that I had styled myself and hosted on a free server, I was in my rookie year in the industry. I started blogging as an additional way to make contact with prospective clients without expanding my marketing campaign. In the almost two years since the launch of that first blog, the expansion of my marketing has been limited to a total of about four other sites, and not more than a dozen or so total ad listings, which I consider a successful contained campaign.
Which blogs do you read?
A great deal of the blogs I read are related to web design. The P4P blogs I read are Chevalier's, Blonde Bohemian,
Courtesean Connection, Misemployed in Minneapolis and I've recently added Nia Dark and Lovely to my regular reading. I was reading Compartments regularly, but since her professional direction has changed, I've been reading her less. One of my favorite blogs, Glengarry Leads, is no longer online, and I miss it. Another that I read until the author stopped posting is Experienced Girlfriend because she posted about being a sexworker involved in a personal relationship. I, too, have a very serious boyfriend; we are actually engaged. There was a couple (a provider and her client-turned-boyfriend) who each posted blogs about their relationship on wordpress but their romance quickly became a trainwreck that was painful to watch; their blogs have both been removed. There are also a few blogs I read that are more erotic fiction collections than blogs about escorts.
What appeals to you about the blogs you read?
There is a certain "aloneness" I feel from being in this line of work. I read the escort blogs that I read so that I can have a sense of "she feels the same way," or "he understands what I am feeling about (whatever)." I read escort blogs to feel more a part of than apart from.
Whose writing do you particularly admire?
I admire Chevalier's writing for the fact that he seems to "get it" more than most of the men entangled in this industry. I think I admire everyone I read regularly for either their insight or the way they turn a phrase. Hopefully I will be having lunch with (and meeting for the first time) one of my favorite writers on Monday; I cannot tell who she is, but I don't think there is a person I enjoy reading on the message boards more than I enjoy reading her comments.
In your reading do you seek out different points of view ?
Oh, I know I should seek out differing points of view, and sometimes I do, but I honestly like reading that I am right most of the time. I am so shallow. I have found that I enjoy reading people with whom I agree although our reasoning does not match.
How do you choose items to link?
I tend to add bloggers who link to my blog to my blogroll. Many in my list have many links in their blogrolls. If my readers click through my list, they find a wealth of blogs to view from those sites. with the exception of The Erotic Review, because they require a link on the first page, I don't link to my reviews or the message boards that publish them.
What is your policy on comments?
My comment policy is that I approve the first comment a person makes, after that, comments post instantly. I receive an email for each comment published, just to make sure that spam does not sneak in. So far, no one has posted or tried to post anything that I have needed to remove for the sake of "good press."
Do you ever receive abusive comments , how do you handle it ?
I have not received any "abusive" comments, my readers are generally (so-called) "fans" who send me a lot of praise and flattery. (I do love to be flattered...) I think that most of my readers would recognize anyone being abusive at face value, plus I do not want anyone to think that I will only publish what is favourable to me, so I think that I would let an abusive comment stand. Email I receive is a little different. When I receive an ignorant, graphic or abusive email, I do not respond to the sender. I do, however, publish those comments as an example for others.
Where do you find interesting links?
As I mentioned before, those I link to often have a wealth of great sites.
Do you ever write to provoke a reaction, how do you do that ?
Do I write to provoke a reaction? Absolutely! On the sixth of May I posted a one-line entry to provoke my guests into remembering that I appreciate it when they shower at my place. There is another reaction I have intended to provoke lately; for that purpose, I have been trying my hand at erotica (fiction and non-fiction). I would love your dark and lovely opinion on my three-part "The Librarian" and "SG42."
How much traffic do you get?
My fan-base is pretty modest. I can usually expect about 100 unique visitors daily. Double or even triple that number when a new review is posted on ASPD.
What is your rank on Technorati?
My technorati ranking is about 934k. At one time I had all the little buttons for technorati, digg, etc., but as much as I would like recognition for my blog, I realize the reality of my work and would rather stay somewhat "unknown."
Has your writing changed since you started blogging?
I do not know that blogging has really changed how I write. I am just as wordy as ever. hahaha.
How many hours do you spend online a day?
I am a certifiable internet junky. I am ashamed to say how many hours I spend online in a day... A close answer would be "most of them."
How much time do you spend on your site a day?
I used to spend several hours a day on my site... I was developing my own wordpress themes for a while. Now, other than checking comments or making posts, I do not spend much time at all actually on my site. It does help that my sweetheart is a web-designer who has relieved me of the development aspects of my site.
How many blogs do you read?
On any given day, I could read up to 10 blogs. I have about 50 listed in my news reader to which I commit any real amount of time.
How do you find new blogs?
Most of the blogs I read are design blogs. I find those blogs, usually, via PopURLs. I find new escort blogs through the blogs in my blogroll.
How much reader email do you get?
Almost all of the email I get is from my readers. I rarely hear from someone who has not read my blog.
What do you think makes a successful blog?
I wish I knew what makes a blog successful. I think I have been lucky to have the success I have had. Obviously, regular posts make a difference, as does knowing your audience.
What is your advice for a new blogger?
My advice to new bloggers is to blog, blog, blog. Even if you say nothing, say it! Lack of quantity is my greatest weakness in blogging. Give your readers something, anything, to read.
How has blogging changed your life?
Blogging has not really changed my life. It has made marketing my business easier, but I do not think it has changed me, personally... I take that back... Blogging has made me into something of a comment-whore... I love comments on my blog!
What blogs do you think deserve wider recognition and why?
I think if Chevalier was read more by more men (clients) involved in P4P a lot of things would be easier for them and for the ladies they "visit." Otherwise, I'm not sure I am crazy about more escort blogs becoming "mainstream."
What are your hobbies?
Hobbies? Did I mention I am an internet junkie? hahaha. Otherwise, "the hobby" is my hobby.
How has your blog changed over the years?
Over the time that I have been blogging, I have become less technical and more erotic in my choice of subject matter.
Are you fairly accurate in predicting which of your items will be widely linked?
I am fairly accurate in guessing that few of my entries will be linked at all. Of course, there's an entry that I made six months ago that is still linked to often. I do not think that particular post will ever lose it's appeal for my target audience.
Do you have a background in writing?
My writing background includes a jounalism and mass communications major. It also includes a life-long passion for the art.
When do you blog?
I blog when the mood strikes me... I cannot blog otherwise.
With regard to blogging what was your most memorable moment?
I think posting "My Oral Fixation" has done the most to secure my need to worry about outside marketing. That is the post everyone seems to remember.
Would you read your site?
Yes, probably, but I would have to find more frequent posts in order to be very loyal to the CMEBlog.
I am very thankful to you for considering my participation. Thank you.
Labels: Bloggers on blogging, Caitiemae, Chevalier, Compartments, Courtesan Connection, Dirtyboy, Escorts, Experienced Girlfriend, Friction, Indecent blogging, Interviews, Missemployed in minneapolis, Wordpress
Tuesday, May 01, 2007
Chevalier on blogging
What is the first weblog you came across?
I don't recall for sure, but possibly kausfiles . I don't recall when that was, though. The first "pay for play" blog I read (other than some truly minimalist/boring ones with no personality) was probably Caitie Mae's , largely because I knew her and was a frequent client at the time.
Of course, P4P discussion boards are a not too distant cousin -- sort of a "collective blog," don't you think? Much higher volume, combined with lower average quality of discussions. If those count, ASPD.
Why did you start blogging?
Why does anyone blog? Expressing one's opinions seems a very fundamental urge, doesn't it? "Blogging" may show up in the revised version of Maslow's hierarchy. :-) Particularly for things such as P4P, which we can't discuss in casual conversations with friends or co-workers.
I drifted into blogging. I had participated in discussions on ASPD for several years but became disenchanted for a number of reasons. Around that time, someone commented that escorts often had websites, which clients could use to find out more about them; it might be helpful for escorts if clients had websites as well, so they could find out more about us. Obviously a lot of practical disadvantages to that, but just as a lark, I put one together on geocities. (I didn't tell prospective partners about it though; it was just an experiment, and realistically most escorts don't have time to do a lot of research on clients other than basic screening.) A blog was an available option on geocities -- I'm an opinionated curmudgeon who wanted an outlet to express those opinions -- and the outlet of a blog would help me stay away from the craziness of discussion boards -- so, voila!
Which blogs do you read?
Within the P4P arena, primarily your and Gillette's. Very different but both very interesting. I check both just about every day. I still drop by Caitie Mae's and Compartments occasionally, although they've slowed down considerably. Clandestine Call Girl and Diary of the Call Girl Next Door have gone into hibernation, although MissEmployed in Minneapolis may be coming back. The Petulant Pooner on occasion. Alice, a local Dallas escort, at times -- fascinating content, although she also blogs very irregularly.
Other than P4P:
A couple of political blogs: kausfiles, Andrew Sullivan A couple of chess blogs: Susan Polgar , Daily Dirt, Dallas Cowboys
What appeals to you about the blogs you read?
Well written, informative, and interesting perspectives that might not occur to me. I generally prefer blogs that don't get TOO angry or strident. It's fine if they want to do so, and a lot of people like it (particularly in the political arena), but that's not what I'm looking for. Exposure to some interesting individuals and how they think. Within the P4P arena, insight into the escort perspective.
The chess and Cowboys blogs -- the overwhelming factor is information, rather than quality of writing or the perspective offered.
And CaitieMae's offers some really outstanding erotica at times. OK, perhaps I'm biased since I was a regular client. :-)
Whose writing do you particularly admire?
Of the blogs I read regularly, I would probably pick Gillette and Andrew Sullivan. Very different, but both very effective.
In your reading do you seek out different points of view ?
To some extent. In the non-blog world, definitely. I tend to subscribe to/read news sources that differ from my personal perspective, just to see "the other side." I don't really seek out blogs, though. I happen to stumble across them, and if they're interesting, I keep coming back.
How do you choose items to link?
Things that interest me and about which I want to comment. I don't really think much about whether they will interest readers.
What is your policy on comments?
I'm not sure I have a "policy." :-) My blog is one of the least sophisticated technologically that I've run across. I don't thing "moderation" is even possible. I reserve the right to delete a comment, I guess, but generally would not do so based solely on the viewpoint. Comments are welcome; disagreement is welcome; just keep it relatively civil.
Do you ever receive abusive comments , how do you handle it ?
No, not really. There have been a few instances in which people posted comments that were critical of me as a person (primarily because of participating in P4P while married), as opposed to being critical of my ideas or opinions. Generally, I just shrug those off. If they have a poor opinion of me as a person, well, they're welcome to it and I don't worry about it. I don't consider those "abusive." I wouldn't encourage they post comments like that a LOT, though, because it would get rather tiresome after awhile. :-)
I think I would have much more of a problem with readers posting nasty/abusive comments about OTHER people.
Where do you find interesting links?
Since my blog is focused on P4P (with an emphasis on Dallas), I run across things on P4P blogs I read and local P4P discussions boards, such as ASPD and AHC.
Do you ever write to provoke a reaction, how do you do that ?
I don't think so. I express disapproval or frustration at times, which might provoke a reaction, but at the same time I don't anticipate that the targets of my ire will run across my blog. :-)
How much traffic do you get?
VERY little. I don't really publicize the blog, and only a few people have run across it, primarily through links at your blog, Compartments, Caitie Mae's, the Petulant Pooner, and a mention on Gillette's. I would guess it runs somewhere around 10 - 20/day on average, although occasionally when I looked at stats I see BIG blips in page views -- jumping up to around a hundred or so. I imagine that's people who run across it for the first time, and then flip back through the entries to see if there's anything interesting, rather than just reading it going forward. (I do that occasionally myself; did it with Gillette's blog, although it took me a few days.)
I mostly think of my blog as a place to express my opinions and what is going on . . . but not necessarily to be read. More like a diary or journal than an op-ed column. If people do read and possibly comment, that's great. If not, that's OK too. I get satisfaction just from putting my thoughts down on the page and knowing that they're there, regardless of how many or how few people read them. Or am I rationalizing? :-)
What is your rank on technorati?
I have no idea. I'm "technologically challenged" and not sure how I would even go about checking all that or what it would all mean. But I gather that's primarily a measure of how widely read and/or linked a blog is . . . and I'm quite content being low profile, under the radar. :-)
As a related measure of the same thing, I would guess the ratio of reader comments to my entries is running slightly less than 20%. And since some entries have attracted multiple comments, the percentage of entries to which readers comment may be more like 7 - 10%.
Has your writing changed since you started blogging?
I have a naturally logical, pedantic, and long-winded writing style, which hasn't changed much. The CONTENT may have changed a bit; I think I'm a little bit more likely to talk about personal things than I was at the beginning.
How many hours do you spend online a day?
I'm logged into the Internet throughout the workday and occasionally at home in the evenings, although I'm not always looking at all that stuff. I may spend a half-hour or an hour in the morning or lunch hour, and then beyond that it's primarily just a quick flip through when I'm bored and need a brief diversion.
How much time do you spend on your site a day?
Very little. I may post one or two items a day for a week solid, then not post at all for a couple of weeks. It all depends on whether there's something I feel like posting. At times, particularly the beginning, I may have "forced" it a bit, but not as much anymore. Sometimes I go back and read what I wrote and think "you were just looking for an excuse to post SOMETHING" . . . and then am a bit more careful about it for awhile.
How many blogs do you read?
On a regular basis, about eight (listed above); occasionally check a few others.
How do you find new blogs?
Through references on other blogs, primarily. I don't search them out.
How much reader email do you get?
Virtually none. Email is welcome, but my email address [chevalierdallas-aspd@yahoo.com] isn't posted on the blog and few people take the trouble to track it down.
What do you think makes a successful blog?
"Success" can be defined so many ways. If you' want to build readership and comments, I think it's interesting content, good writing, a viewpoint, and passion about your subject matter. For your American readers: I remember someone commenting about the Siskel & Ebert TV show, reviewing movies. The commentator said the TV show's success wasn't primarily because of the subject matter but because both of them were PASSIONATE about what they discussed. The show would have been successful if they'd been discussing plubming. I think there's something to that.
For my blog, success = I enjoy it enough to continue doing it.
What is your advice for a new blogger?
Decide what you want to accomplish. Don't worry too much about what others will think. And have fun.
How has blogging changed your life?
I don't think it has, other than an opportunity to "virtually meet" some interesting and fun people.
What blogs do you think deserve wider recognition and why?
Can't say. Not sure how much recognition they have now. :-)
Within the P4P world, I've particularly enjoyed yours and Gillette's. As I said before, very different. Yours focuses more on the "news and commentary" paradigm, like an op-ed column; more of an outward focus, with a lot of exceptionally interesting topics you run across in your reading and bring to our attention. Gillette's is more an inner focus, very personal and subjective sharing of her life, and an introspective and insightful examination thereof. Both those are generalities, of course, and both contain both viewpoints. In both cases, a very high percentage of posts which let me get to know someone interesting and make me think or affect my viewpoint . . . and that's what it's all about. If I wanted a cocoon or echo-chamber that would just reinforce my own viewpoint, I'd only read my own blog. :-)
What are your hobbies?
Alas, I have little time for such at this time in my life. At one time I played chess at a semi-serious level, but haven't managed to keep up in recent years. I enjoy reading, primarily non-fiction (law, history, social issues, etc.).
How has your blog changed over the years?
Or in my case, over the 10 months? :-) Well, it's become somewhat more personal (at times) rather than objective. Other than that . . . I'm not sure.
Are you fairly accurate in predicting which of your items will be widely linked?
I don't attempt to predict, but imagine I would not be very accurate. Since it's not publicized much and gets few readers (and has a somewhat provincial flavor, see below), I'm a bit surprised when ANY of the items is linked at all.
Do you have a background in writing?
No particular background. My profession is one in which writing is important -- but, unfortunately, a particularly dry style of writing. I can generally get my points across, though.
When do you blog?
Whenever I have a few spare minutes and something I feel like saying. :-)
With regard to blogging what was your most memorable moment?
When I first started getting comments, and when other blogs have linked to me. I recall someone telling me that Compartments had listed me on her blogroll and thus "You're big time, Babe!"
Would you read your site?
I guess by definition most of us would say "yes." If we wrote it, presumably we found the subject interesting. :-)
However, if I try to step outside my skin and objectively look back at the last several months, I'd actually probably say "no." Let me explain by comparison to another blog (and perhaps piss someone off in the process).
I rarely read The Petulant Pooner; occasionally, but not often. Why? It's well-written; at times has a different viewpoint than mine, but that is generally a plus; on some interesting subjects; a bit angry at times, but usually not over-the-top. What's not to like? Well, mostly that it has a VERY heavy emphasis on the personalities and what's happening in the Seattle P4P community. To many of the people living up there, I'm sure it would be a "must read" -- but I'm in Dallas. I don't know the people he blogs about and don't use the discussion boards or back channel lists that he talks about. We have completely different frames of reference. (Yours and Gillette's, by comparison, don't have as strong a feel of "place" about them.) I'm sure he gets a lot of visitors from outside Seattle as well, but they're probably less likely to come back and visit regularly.
I think my blog is also, at least to some extent, "place-specific." Looking back on it, there are a lot of entries about the personalities down here and the review/discussion boards that are active in Dallas. Between that, the low visibility, and the lack of "hot" topics -- few people in Dallas know about it, and few people outside Dallas would be very interested. Scarface's approaches a "must read" in the Seattle P4P community, which makes it very popular despite the specifics of "place." I'm not at that level in the Dallas P4P community.
One thing my blog does have going for it, though, is that it offers the perspective of the P4P client. Relatively few of us blog, as opposed to the escorts. I suspect the rarity creates some curiosity/interest.
Labels: Alice, Andrew Sullivan, Aspd, Bloggers on blogging Interviews, Caitiemae, Chevalier, Compartments, Daily Dirt, Ex-Courtesan in transition, Friction, Missemployed in minneapolis, Petulant Pooner


