Sunday, November 19, 2006

How many clients and escorts tell others about this aspect of our lives

I find that the majority of the escorts and clients that I know, do not tell friends, partners or employers about this aspect of their lives.

We all have different reasons. Some clients will never admit to another soul that they have paid for it.

I would not tell my mother, coming from good Catholic stock, being honest would cause emotional pain, and would kill her.

Can we be accused of lying when we have never been asked the questions?

I read Compartments post yesterday. She feels that it is the social stigma that makes it so much bigger for all of us.

I agree with her, and also think that escorts are a safety valve. A client sent me an email, last week, and said keep up the good work. I asked him what he was talking about, and he said, that if he did not come to see me, he would be after his colleagues, or relatives. So, I prevented him from straying into areas that could be dangerous for him. I need to hold onto what he said, at all times.

Have a good week.

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Comments:
Of the stories I've heard where escort's families have somehow found out about the escorting, it's been the mother who was a rock of stability and support. One czech girl that I know spent a couple of months doing porn to pay for a messy divorce to a violent w***er. She hoped no-one would find out, but her brother did and rather than keep it a secret, he showed the pictures to their mum. The daughter then confessed all about doing porn and then escorting. Ironically it's the brother who is now outcast from the family, and the mother and daughter have never been stronger together. I think it's male relatives who tend to be more judgemental about these things.
 
Overlain,

I am happy for your friend. I have not come across any escorts in the entire time that I have been escorting, who have told their families.

I know they exist, and I think it is great.

It is not an option for me at all. In an ideal world, it would be.

Would you tell your family that you see escorts?
 
I haven't told my family that I sometimes see escorts, but then I famously turned up to a family birthday with my girlfriend of two months who I'd completely forgotten to tell anyone about either.
Anyway, I think it's very different for a girl to admit to escorting since it's normally possible to portray herself as the victim of circumstances, i.e. large debts, school fees, messy divorce etc. Whether that's honest or not is another matter. I'm sure the girl would get less sympathy from the family if she says she does it to buy shinier shoes.
I think EE girls have an easier time with this, because after decades of appalling soviet control and poverty, there is a certain respect for anyone who is working to make money for themselves, especially if it's to pay for education. I.e. given the choice, it's better for a daughter to be a short-term escort with an education and aspirations, rather than an uneducated farm hand with no prospects.
 
I have never told anyone in my life. And I certainly can not do so.

However, I'm realistic enough to know that there have been people close to me that absolutely must have known. Back in college, I was sloppy and kept a stash of the escort ad papers in my bedroom in my dresser. All a snooping roomate would have to have done was find that stash and they'd know I was very much into seeing hookers. I circled my top picks.

Also, my very first "regular" escort friend (who was supposedly the opitome of discretion) once called the apartment when I was not home and asked for me. Of course, she used her erotic-sounding "hooker" name with my roomate, and for all sakes and purposes, he knew damn well I'd been paying for it. he knew me well enough to know that I would have told him if I'd been getting laid on my own. He knew all of my personal business. It was unspoken, but he knew.
 
I often read about johns who were given a certain girl's number by a friend. Wow, you have got some friend! In my experience, men, in general, lack humility with one another. They do not like to appear to be "weak" in front of other men. Admitting that you see escorts is admitting that you are weak in the ladies department. That you need to pay for it. So very few men would ever admit this to another man (except through internet anonymity).
 
Overlain,

I can see how for some EE's how paying for your education in this way may be acceptable.

GGL,

I cannot get over your first regular escort. She called you without your permission!

Yes, some clients have said that they realised that colleagues were attending functions with escorts, and managed to get information from them.

What puzzles me is how you drop it into the conversation?
 
Yes, I begand to supect that Ieesha might have had some kind of drug problem, or perhaps was just perpetually broke. She was supposedly discreet (even declared it in her advertisement). And then she amazed me by virtually begging me to come for an appointment after I'd not seen her for a while. That was the last I saw of her. I told her she'd really screwed up by calling my home.

This has happened to me on more than one occaision though.
 
GGL,

That just ain't right. That one phone call could have been the beginning of the end. Not good at all.
 
Back in those times (and not really so long ago) the internet was not available as a reference. There was no FAQ to guide a punter. Since I did not share my punting details with friends, I had no one to ask for advice either. I literally learned on the streets. A man had to stumble through an ocean of bad experiences and close calls. And I did. I've seen most of it ;-)
 
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