Friday, May 18, 2007

Messageboards what is personal is universal?

The internet has transformed the escort industry. At the moment, there are numerous posts on the mass market, and how endless choice is creating unlimited demand. Some posts on a messageboard, have left me feeling disgusted. This is not unusual for me, with some of the boards in this industry. I cannot get over the arrogance of some of the posters, and lack of respect for escorts.

I find the group dynamics on messageboards fascinating. I read the boards to get up to date on what is happening, and to read the warnings section. I am down to reading one board now, and have lost interest with the rest.

The whole concept of online personas and real life personas, I find interesting. There are some people who I avoid, purely on their posting style, and the types of reviews they write. I find it amusing when some of these posters, claim that they should not be judged on what they post on forums, or write in reviews; as in real life they are different. I acknowledge that I do judge them, and am not surprised when I see their details, on the warning sections of the escort only boards.

I see so many similarities on what Compartments writes about messageboards and how some male members on messageboards like to flame escorts. She makes an important point here

Escorts have to be careful what they say, or they attract the wrong types. It only takes one totally insecure, fucked-up prick out there, name and location unknown to the “community,” who would love to teach an uppity bitch whore who says something he doesn’t agree with on a message board a nice little lesson in person. And she’d never know if it was jerkoff69 or Schlongbooger or DaddyButtFuck or whoever from the message board.

You cannot guarantee, that some of these members will make a booking, with their handles. I do not care if someone claims to have a different persona offline, I do not want to take that risk.

I have and continue to witness, escorts who speak their mind, and boy do they get flamed, or labelled as nutters. Some of the male members who do the labelling, strangely enough cannot take a dose of their own medicine.

Compartments writes a great post on bored with the boards. The paragraph on "It's not a community" is hilarious. As she points out that

Some of the people writing there are suffering from delusions of grandeur that they are IMPORTANT, WELL-KNOWN, or POWERFUL in the community based on how much time they spend adding posts to their count.
If an escort is all caught up in the community illusion herself, she could make a pretty bad mistake based on the belief that some anonymous message board posters could make or break her business because they are “well-known,” meaning, they splatter themselves all over the forums and after a while, other members recognize their handles—Wow, there’s Bryan87 again at 5,462 posts! And he’s reviewed 109 whores! He must hold a lot of sway here! But in fact, the members are all UNKNOWNS outside the virtual community of the message board. Close your laptop, and they cease to exist as an actual, cohesive community, because they are scattered all over the place in offices, basements, and bedrooms posting ANONYMOUSLY. They are embarrassed about their so-called “hobby.” A community does not consist of one person alone whacking off in front of his computer while his family watches T.V. in the other room

Chevalier summarises clearly that some men out there do not know the limitations of knowledge in the paid sex industry.This is what I think is causing angst among some members of the community

As a result of being an underground economy, we will never know as much about potential playmates as people know about, say, potential investments in the stock market or "legitimate" businesses they are considering patronizing. There are no SEC and FASB mandating disclosures, backed up by audits by independent accountants. No FTC setting standards for "truth in advertising."

My view is that some members of these boards have a strong need to control and dominate, and bring their unresolved issues of omnipotence, onto messageboards, and start acting out.
Clearly some escorts feel they have to take the crap, as they feel that having a voice will affect their business.Some of these escorts rely on all their business from these boards.

Have a great weekend.

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I have mixed feelings about review/discussion boards. They do provide a valuable resource and also a sense of community, which can alleviate the isolation you feel when you can't discuss a part of your life with friends and colleagues. But, yes, there is also some misogyny and hatred there.

I don't think the negativity is due as much to the subject matter ("punting" - love the British vernacular) as to the location. The Internet, partly because of the opportunity for anonymity and partly because of the ability to reach a lot of readers, attracts and encourages angry people. Some of those people, if they were talking face-to-face, would never express themselves that way.

Which doesn't necessarily mean that they're really warm and cuddly rather than the nasty online personality they show on the boards. It may just mean that they repress their real personality when face-to-face. So I totally understand the ladies who choose to avoid someone because of their online persona. (There are some guys who similarly avoid particular ladies because of their online persona.)

There is some desensitizing and even dehumanizing on the boards. Of course, that's not just because of the guys' anger and misogyny. Some of it is inherent. ANY review -- no matter no respectful and discreet -- is in some way treating the lady differently than in a "civilian" relationship. I certainly never went around "rating" my dates for friends, let alone describing our intimate activities. Because the sharing of information, if done properly, is useful to both sides . . . I wouldn't suggest doing away with it . . . but it's important to be aware of its effect on you and her.

Many reviews, or posts and discussions, of the ladies are extremely positive and also extremely respectful. There are excesses, of course. Some reviews do "objectify" the ladies, or criticize them in a tactless/cruel manner, or are needlessly (my opinion) vulgar.

Some of that, of course, is encouraged by the ladies. Sad to say, but a very explicit, graphic review, treating her as a sexual object rather than a real person, can increase her business. Some ladies even prefer such reviews -- and post similarly explicit, graphic ads for themselves.

And -- as someone with a lot of posts and who is pretty well-known on the local discussion board -- I completely agree with Compartments. Attaching any importance at all to how well-known you are in such a community is definitely delusional. Even worse are those, whether well-known or not, who attempt to use it to coerce or pressure the ladies. Asking for discounts, or freebies, or "special" services in return for a good review (or not posting a negative review) by a well-known member of the community? Despicable beyond words.

Sorry about the long reply. This is a topic that particularly interests me. :-)

Nia, I have got to the stage now where I care not what people think of me when I make a post on a message board, and I am well aware that there is a cast of thousands who don't like me. Interestingly enough, I don't like them either !

I tend to say what's on my mind, and speak my own truth, and if folks don;t like it then they can go and take a running jump.

There are an awful lot of non -punters on sex message boards, and thats where the main problem lies, oh.. and of course the working girls who post as men to upset other working girls. We know too well who some of those are don't we..LOL

Thank you for your comprehensive comments.

I have mixed feelings about boards too.

Yes, anonymity gives some people a fair amount of courage.

It is good to hear a male perspective that differs from what I read on boards.


Thank you for your comments. I am with you in not caring either. I had forgotten about the non punters posting. As for the girls who post as men, that is outrageous. Yes, I am afraid, I do know who some of these people are.
Very good compilation. You never cease to amaze with your posts.
Mind if I point this out on a few boards ? You might get some of the nutcases reading about themselves.

Thank you for your comments. You know my views on nutters,lol.
Mind if I point this out on a few boards ? You might get some of the nutcases reading about themselves.

I think if Nia had wanted this posted on a messageboard she would have posted it there herself.

Isn't part of what she is saying that an escort "stepping out of line" as it were - daring to be upity and have a voice of her own - can leave herself vulnerable to abuse from men who cannot accept that kind of response. The blogosphere currently has a different readership in the main.

I used to publish on different escort/client messageboards (not as Beau!) I had a lot of fun at times but I hope I was not disrespectful to any wgs and often tried to stand up for them and got flamed myself on ocasions for doing so.

However in the end the whole sad tone of all of them drove me away.

B xx
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