Nia Dark and Lovely, a Black Escort in London

I walked into work today, and the atmosphere was volatile. The office politics are unbearable.

There are a number of trouble makers where I work, who have issues with authority and power.

We are all facing an uncertain future, and anxiety levels are high. I am tired of the endless meetings that are not productive.

Some of the staff members are trying to cause chaos, and I do not want to be a part of it. It is hard because they feel that I am not supportive, but I do not feel it is worth it.

We have tried to effect change, and nothing has happened. I am job hunting, and as soon as I can get out I will. In the meantime, I want to bury my head in the sand, which is a struggle when colleagues are trying to draw me into their battles.

Have a good week.

Labels: Black escort, London, Officepolitics.com, Thoughts

I think it is great that some escorts have partners who are okay about what they do. It can get nasty, when your partner has issues with you working as an escort.

Ms G, sued her partner for defamation.

Her ex-husband informed her employers that she was an escort, and posted on messageboards that she had a sexually transmitted disease. She won an award of $2000 in damages.

I find this sad, as when you end a relationship with someone who knows about this part of your life, can you trust them to not reveal your secrets?

Ms G's ex husband clearly had problems with her past life as an escort.

This is one of the reasons why I choose not to have a relationship, whilst I am escorting. I want to avoid these sorts of complications.

Have a good weekend.

Labels: Escorts, Naming and shaming, News, vancouver sun

I am not happy about the Royal Mail strike, it is an inconvenience for me.

I ordered some stuff online last week, and had no idea that the strike was on and would last two weeks.Had I known, I would have waited for a few weeks. I am expecting some cheques in the post, which will probably not arrive now. This situation gives others an excuse to say things are in the post, when they were never sent in the first place. I do not have the energy to chase lost post at the moment. My life is complicated as it is,I wonder why Royal Mail cannot take that on board. I was told yesterday there will be no deliveries next week on Saturday,Wednesday, Thursday or Friday.

The good news is that I did another appraisal this week, which went well. The staff member that I was appraising does not beat around the bush. I love people who are direct,upfront, honest and not afraid to challenge others. Four more to go.

Labels: Black escort, London, Thoughts

Alice is a member of the International sex workers union. She is among a group of women that have helped set up english language classes for foreign sexworkers and escorts in London.

Some of these escorts need to tell their clients that they do not do bareback,

owo, or A whatever the case may be.

I am fascinated by sex tourists, and how they communicate with the women they meet.

An ability to speak english seems to be important for some men in London, or the UK who use escorts. I know that it is important for me to understand what my clients are saying, and to be able to communicate with them.

Labels: Escorts, guardian, International sex workers union, News, Prostitutes, Resources for Prostitutes, Sexworkers

Bicyclists and sexworkers in San Francisco kicked off a sex on wheels guided bike tour on Sunday.

It sounds like it was fun, and there were definitely no floods on that side of the water.

Labels: blogs.sfweekly.com, Escorts, News, Sexworkers

You may be able to study for a degree in prostitution in New Zealand.

I wonder how many jobs would be available after qualification?

*coughs*

Have a great weekend.

Labels: Escorts, News, Prostitutes, Theage.com.au

I had an appraisal with a member of staff yesterday that went well. One down, five more to go.

One of the issues that came up, is some of the staff team, believe they get more from me, than others. I believe everyone gets the same, but it may be delivered in a different way. I recognise I cannot please all the people all the time, and I make no attempts to. I am surprised, as the staff who are complaining, have not raised the issue with me, but maybe they will in their appraisals.

It has some parallels with the paid sex industry and the term YMMV, which Chevalier introduced me to. Chevalier has a good post on YMMV here. It continues to raise problems for clients when they read reviews, and realise they did not get x, whereas other people did. I suppose the whole review process is about comparisons, and there is no getting away from that.

Update

Chevalier has started a new blog on wordpress, as he was having technical problems, and his old blog is still up.

I have some email problems again, and discovered today that some of you have attempted to send me mail for over three weeks, and it has not been delivered. I am receiving some mail, and as usual have no idea what is happening. If I have not responded to any mail,which is unusual then I suggest you call.

Labels: Black escort, Chevalier, London, Thoughts

I read about the Indiana waitress who received a $10000 tip for college, and it brought tears to my eyes.

Kindness can make such a difference in any form. I am blessed to have received a lot of kindness over the years, and am surrounded by a number of kind friends, and members of my family.

My philosophy is that if you give, that someone somewhere, will give back to you, at some point in your life. I believe it is one of the laws of the universe.

I have seen it happen countless times in my life. I do not give to receive, but am aware when I do give, I get so much back.

Labels: Black escort, London, Thoughts, Yahoo news

I have just finished Confessions of a Working Girl

Miss S is one of the authors that Danuta Kean refers to in her happy hooker memoirs which I talked about here.

This book does not glamourise prostitution at all, in my view. Yes, Miss S chose to work in a brothel or parlour, but some of her experiences are so offputting, I think anyone who is thinking of working in a brothel needs to read this.

Miss S talks about how by the eighth client she is swollen, by the tenth she is raw, and when she gets to client 12 she is numb. What I found amazing, was that it was a sackable offence if the girls gave their number out, provided owo, or anal. The girls did not kiss either.

The market has changed so much now, I wonder when Miss S was working at this brothel, and whether their policies remain the same now.

She describes various experiences of bad and difficult clients who pull off condoms, or are too rough.She has one incident with a chinese client who does this, and talks of the stress she goes through, waiting for her results.

The local coppers have something on their bulletin board, saying the brothel is the cleanest and safest house in the area, and is the only one they can use, which is hilarious.

There are countless women who cannot deal with the job psychologically, when they have condom splits with clients.

She has some tips at the back, which I think would be useful for newbies. One thing that I agree with is her point about regulars. She says when a regular client sees another girl, all it means is he fancies a change.

It does not mean the girl has stolen him, or he does not like you. Your punter is not your boyfriend, so do not take it personally.

I read the book, and take my hat off to Miss S. Some of the stuff she went through was awful. It is an easy read, and an eye opener for working in a brothel or parlour.

Danuta Kean says that Miss S's publisher claimed this book will appeal to teenage girls. I am with Danuta on that, I cannot see how and why it would appeal to teenage girls.

Miss S does touch on some of her clients who may be paedophiles, which is something that Danuta Kean feels the book fails to acknowledge. Miss S, gives a number of accounts of clients who talk to her about this, and the alarm bells that go off for her. I think the book is authentic, and although Miss S made some money, this would not go down in my list of books that glamourise the profession.

Part one and Part Two of the Danuta Kean debate.

Labels: books, Brothels, Confessions of a working girl, Danuta Kean, Escorts, Hookers, Miss S

Entre Amigos left a comment on the law enforcement and shock tactics post, about David Vitter.

You have to put a good spin on it. Yesterday a US Senator whose number was in a call-girl's data base took advantage of the opportunity to announce that God had forgiven him for his sin. So that should win him a few votes, what with him and God being best mates.

The interesting thing is that it is reported that a few years ago his wife said she was more of a Lorena Bobbitt type, and that if he strayed she would cut his dick off. Someone needs to ask him if he is still intact. It is in the public interest to know if we are being represented by an amputee.

My feeling is that she probably got a huge diamond and a new car, plus a lifetime exemption from further marital sex.



David Vitter is one of Deborah Palfrey's casualties, like Randall Tobias.

The two politicians are feeling the heat. The media have laid them out to slaughter, because they clearly do not practice what they preach.

David Vitter is lucky, as he is loved at home.

Entre Amigos feels that he may not be intact, though. What a painful price to pay if Mrs Vitter has become Mrs Bobbitt.

However, when he visited prostitutes one of his fetishes was being pampered.

I guess David Vittner did not realise what price he had to pay for hypocrisy.

Have a good week.

Labels: Bayoubuzz.com, Escorts, Naming and shaming, News, Wonkette.com

I saw Monty earlier this week. I first met him when I started escorting a few years ago.


The first conversation that I had with him, when he made contact, felt like an interview. I was amused, and puzzled at the time, as I wondered why he needed so much information for an hour's booking. I have seen him several times since, for dinner dates, and can see that he needed to check out whether we were compatible.

There are a number of rituals that Monty goes through whenever he makes contact. He calls me, and asks me whether I remember him. He is one of a number of my clients that I am unlikely to forget, because of who he is, and how he is. So, my usual response is that I could never forget him.

When I arrive at Monty's flat, he apologises for not having seen me in a while. This is not necessary, but I find it sweet. He does not live in London, even though he has a property here. He then starts to tell me, that he should see a lot more of me.

Monty is warm, charming, and well mannered. I am a sucker for charm, and enjoy being around him.

We have a catch up on what has been going on for both of us, and Monty cannot believe that I remember all the stuff that he has told me over the years.

We were lying down in his living room, in various states of undress, and he said that he was having so much fun that there was no need to do anything else. That is a first for Monty, but I thought if that is what he wants, it is cool with me.

Within minutes, he mentioned that we needed to proceed to the bedroom. Monty is the sort of gentleman who could be defined as stiff upper lip, if you saw him on the street. He went to the right schools, and universities, and has been brought up well. However behind closed doors, he is playful, sensitive and fun, and this is a major turn on for me.

I was in cowgirl and he told me that I was marriage material. I could not control myself, and burst out laughing, and asked him how marriage came into it. We are so at ease with each other, that we were able to have this conversation in the heat of the moment, and it did not affect anything. I told him about sigheh which he found fascinating. The marriage issue, is another ritual that we go through, and cracks me up each time.

Monty felt that I had improved (his words) since he first met me. He thought I had lost a lot of weight ( I have not, but am probably more toned, thank god the gym is having an effect) .

One of the things that I love about my regular clients, is that they notice things about me that are different, and I find it sweet, and flattering. The improvement issue I accept, as Monty sees a variety of escorts across the UK, and is a prolific reviewer. I am the only black escort he has ever seen though.

We share similar interests, and Monty used to work in my organisation, before I came on board, years ago. I updated him on what things are like now, which he is aware of, as he still keeps in touch with a number of people. We had a heated discussion about how bad things are now, and how lots of people are losing their jobs.

Whenever I hear from Monty, it usually is last minute, as he has to work out an escape plan if he is not alone. I would never contact a client either by text or email without their consent, and Monty knows that. However, this week, Monty asked me to text him, if I lost my job. There is a lot of restructuring going on at work, and people are being laid off all the time. I was touched when he said this.

Monty kept on saying that he felt that I was a friend, and that he was not joking, and emphasised that he would never blur the boundaries.

I had fun, and always have fun with him, and walked away from his flat with a big smile on my face.

Have a good weekend.

Labels: Black escort, clients, London

Law enforcement in Fort worth Texas, are thinking of different ways to deal with escorts and their clients.

Once arrested they would feature on a reality tv show,called John TV, which would show their names and faces.

If this does not work, I do not know what will.

Labels: Escorts, Hookers, myfoxstl.com, News, Prostitutes

I was honoured, thrilled, and amused that Livvy, the English Courtesan had awarded me with a rocking girl blogger award. Some of you may not have visited the English courtesan's blog. She is playful, hilarious, and informative. She has recently developed an obsession with my boobies, which I am concerned about. Poor Livvy, has been misled about my boobies.

The rules of the award are, to write a post with links to five blogs that are women. I am struggling to find five, as I cannot pick bloggers that have already been chosen, who are some of my favourite bloggers.

All the blogs that I have awarded, I read daily, and have read their archives.

My awards go to Joanne of Leeds who is quirky, down to earth,warm, cracks me up, and tries to get bossy with me. Jo talks about her experiences with her clients, her family, and her animals. Did I mention that she has an animal farm, which I have been to?

Compartments, who writes about secrets and lies and leading a double life.Compartments has changed her direction now, and is doing more dom stuff. Her blog is temporarily sealed, which is a shame. She will be back though. I love Compartment's honesty. I love the fact that she has a no holds barred approach to her writing, which I think is one of the advantages of blogging anonymously. I would recommend Compartments to any newbies out there, to give you a picture of what it can be like with clients.

Kim at Mercurial girl is one of my favourites. She is one of the first blogs I came across, and is an expatriate living between Paris and London.She is now living with her partner, and is no longer a companion. Kim is warm,open,honest and informative. If you search Kim's archives she has some great posts on her life as a companion, some of which I have linked to here, if you click the mercurial girl tag. Kim was at the higher end of the market, however she is not arrogant,and is another anonymous blogger who would tell it like it is. Kim has been helpful to a number of escort bloggers out there, and is a good soul.

Clandestine call girl who has stopped blogging. She is open, shares her vulnerablities, and does not beat around the bush. Another anonymous escort blogger.

Call girl next door who has also stopped blogging, was a blog that I enjoyed. She took up escorting to pay off her debts. She was honest, warm, amusing, and transparent.

Labels: Blogging, Call girl next door, Clandestine call girl, Compartments, English courtesan, Escorts, Friction, Joanne of Leeds, Mercurial girl

Clockwatching is a term that is used in escort reviews. Chevalier is growing less and less fond of the term.

When I see it,in escort reviews I wonder what really happened.

My understanding of a clockwatching escort, is someone who is constantly looking at the clock when you are together.

Someone who is rushing you. You can pick up the vibe. She would rather be somewhere else, and does not hide it.

She wants you out as soon as you get your rocks off, and in some cases does not let you have a shower.

The difficulty for me, is if you have booked, and paid for x hours with an escort. Why should you expect x hours and 45 mins?

If you decide that you want to spend 30 minutes in the shower at the beginning, and another 30 minutes at the end, do you really expect the escort to overlook the time?

My policy for incall, is that my clients can have a shower at the start, and at the end if they choose.

Apparently, some clients do not expect some escorts to count the 30 minutes in the shower, at the beginning and at the end. This is a misunderstanding, in my view.

I have clients who want to extend sessions with me, but unfortunately, I have had to rush off to the day job, or have a dentist's appointment, or have other stuff to do. So, it is not always possible.

Chevalier wonders whether escorts have concerns about clients stating that they are not clockwatchers, in reviews. I do not have a problem with that. I feel, that I cannot dictate what any of my clients write in their reviews, anyway.They are free to write what they experienced. If I think that something a client writes is misleading, I know that I can write a rebuttal.

I am not always aware of the time,with my clients and tend to run over . However, I have met some clients who take advantage, and I do not see them again. The sort of situation where a four hour booking, turns to be five, and you literally have to throw the client out. The extra hour is not paid for, clearly.

Labels: Black escort, Chevalier, London, Thoughts

I am uncomfortable with the anonymity that some people hide behind on the internet.

However,I understand the reasons why in the paid sex industry.

The difficulty that I have on forums, is when trolls come on, or members hide behind handles to start flaming.

I read stories of lies deceit, betrayal, cons, adultery, and stalkings all on the wonderful world wide web.

I have met a number of clients and escorts, who made contact via messageboards, and their real life personas are nothing like their online personas.

My preference is definitely for face to face communication.

Update

I have had requests to add an email subscription to my blog. You can now subscribe, and receive my posts via email, there is a button at the top right hand corner of the blog. This saves some of you visiting the blog, and is also for those of you who cannot be bothered to subscribe to the feeds.

Have a good week.

Labels: Black escort, Internet behaviour, London, Saferdating.com, Thoughts

I got an email from my boss saying that I was due for an appraisal. A few days later, I got some more mail from another boss elsewhere, saying that I needed to appraise six people that I manage.

I mentioned how I feel about giving appraisals here, and nothing has changed since then.

I am worried about my own appraisal, as I had forgotten about it. My boss is so laid back, that we did not have one last year.

I looked back at my objectives, and for the first time ever, I have not met all of them. So, I am worried, and yet I know that my boss is not likely to raise hell. It is just me feeling uncomfortable about having to explain myself, although I have valid reasons.

The six appraisals that I have to do for the staff, I am worried about, because some people take it so personally. To date noone has said I am a nightmare to work with, but who knows what they are saying behind closed doors. I have not picked up any vibes, so I am assuming all is okay.

Why I am stressing?

Have a great weekend.

Labels: Black escort, London, Thoughts

I found this post by Miss Melancholy, a psychotherapist while I was browsing.

She points out five things that she has in common

with Belle de Jour.

I would like to add to Ms Melancholy's points, I believe that:

Most escorts and psychotherapists have fixed fees that are non negotiable.

Escorts and psychotherapists are both vulnerable to attack. Clearly, the danger is greater for escorts, but psychotherapists, could have clients who are psychotic.

Escorts and psychotherapists are mainly alone in the room with their clients.

Escorts and psychotherapists focus on some of the unspoken things with their clients.

Appointments with escorts and psychotherapists are for a fixed time.

It is important for both escorts and psychotherapists to be clear about what they can and cannot provide.

Most escorts and psychotherapists screen their clients.

Psychotherapists are seen as healers, and comforters, and this could apply to some escorts.Tarts with hearts.

It is usually not okay for most escorts to meet their clients for coffee or lunch without payment. Some escorts are okay with this, but this is mainly with their regulars, and has been agreed. It is not acceptable for psychotherapists to meet their clients for coffee, or lunch.

It is important for both escorts and psychotherapists to not get over involved with their clients, to avoid burn out, which Teela sanders talks about in her paper.

Who would have thought there would be similarities?

I can see some psychotherapists up in arms about this, huffing and puffing with the comparisons.

Labels: Belle de Jour, Black escort, Confessions of a Psychotherapist, London, Teela Sanders, Thoughts

Gillette tagged me for 7 random things about me. I have to confess that I am struggling, as I had been tagged before here, and came up with six weird things about myself.

I am going to cheat, and give you seven top singles about money advice.

1. No romance without finance, (Ain't nothing going on but the rent) by Gwen Guthrie.

2. Money too tight to mention by Simply Red.

3. I.O.U by the Freeze.

4.I want money(that's what I want) by the Flying Lizards.

5.Gonna make you an offer you can't refuse by Jimmy Helms.

6. Money,money,money by Abba.

7. If I were a rich man by Zero Mostel.

I need to tag seven people

Caitie Mae

Mandy

Joanne of Leeds

Chevalier

Dr Pepper

Peter Leeds

David

Happy Fourth of July to all my American readers.

Labels: Black escort, Music, Tagged

Tal Zohar was arrested in Israel for the escort agency he ran on the internet. The charges were for trafficking, pimping and exploitation. He cheated some of the girls of their wages. Israeli law enforcement seldom convicts pimps who operate virtual brothels or escort agencies.

The Hotline for Migrant Workers last month submitted a bill to the Knesset Subcommittee on Trafficking in Women, to amend the wording of the existing law prohibiting the operation of a business involved in prostitution to include virtual brothels.

The traffickers in women do their homework, learn the market and keep up to date. The law must also be updated. The law's current format allows for the trial of a person who operates a virtual brothel, but the proposed amendment stresses the severity of this type of whorehouse."

"The proposed amendment also states that not only are the owners or operators of a virtual brothel accountable to the law, but also the graphic artist and the site's content editor.

"This determination has a foundation in the existing law, according to which not only the operator of a regular brothel is liable, but also the cashier, the driver and the guard."

"It doesn't matter if you are only a graphics geek who once set up a site. If the woman you advertised is a victim of human trafficking, you must be accountable," says Levenkron.

Quotes from Virtual Pimps may pay the price by Ofri Llani .

This takes it to another level if the graphic artist, and webdesigners are accountable. I imagine escort photographers would be accountable too.

I wonder how the escort webmasters and escort photographers, are able to verify that the escorts they do work for are not trafficked?

Times are changing.

Update

I am having a problem with my email at the moment. I am not ignoring anyone, but some mail, hotmail mainly is taking three or four days to get me. If I have not responded to anyone, please resend your mail.

Labels: Brothels, Escort agencies, Escorts, Haaretz.com, News, Trafficking