Thursday, July 05, 2007
Escort,clients and psychotherapist comparisons
I found this post by Miss Melancholy, a psychotherapist while I was browsing.
She points out five things that she has in common
with Belle de Jour.
I would like to add to Ms Melancholy's points, I believe that:
Most escorts and psychotherapists have fixed fees that are non negotiable.
Escorts and psychotherapists are both vulnerable to attack. Clearly, the danger is greater for escorts, but psychotherapists, could have clients who are psychotic.
Escorts and psychotherapists are mainly alone in the room with their clients.
Escorts and psychotherapists focus on some of the unspoken things with their clients.
Appointments with escorts and psychotherapists are for a fixed time.
It is important for both escorts and psychotherapists to be clear about what they can and cannot provide.
Most escorts and psychotherapists screen their clients.
Psychotherapists are seen as healers, and comforters, and this could apply to some escorts.Tarts with hearts.
It is usually not okay for most escorts to meet their clients for coffee or lunch without payment. Some escorts are okay with this, but this is mainly with their regulars, and has been agreed. It is not acceptable for psychotherapists to meet their clients for coffee, or lunch.
It is important for both escorts and psychotherapists to not get over involved with their clients, to avoid burn out, which Teela sanders talks about in her paper.
Who would have thought there would be similarities?
I can see some psychotherapists up in arms about this, huffing and puffing with the comparisons.
Labels: Belle de Jour, Black escort, Confessions of a Psychotherapist, London, Teela Sanders, Thoughts
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What a fascinating post Nia. I can certainly see the parallels in terms of risks, rewards and even the role itself.
It's interesting I think that women who retire often seem to go into some form of caring, like running restaurants for example. I know running a restaurant isn't typically seen as a caring business, but I think it is if you do it well and many of the skills of nurturing and listening to people are the same.
Livvy xxx
It's interesting I think that women who retire often seem to go into some form of caring, like running restaurants for example. I know running a restaurant isn't typically seen as a caring business, but I think it is if you do it well and many of the skills of nurturing and listening to people are the same.
Livvy xxx
# posted by 
:
Thu Jul 05, 01:29:00 pm
:
Thu Jul 05, 01:29:00 pm
No, it makes sense. I sometimes think of paid providers of sex as sex therapists, though perhaps the services provided are often more at the technician level, because the escort is not carrying out a full assessment, diagnosis, plan of treatment etc. for the benefit of the client, but more-or-less giving the customer what they ask for and no questions--which could be ethically dubious for a therapist.]
No doubt there are some escorts who would recommend a lengthy course of treatment, but in such cases there is a great potential for conflict of interest.
No doubt there are some escorts who would recommend a lengthy course of treatment, but in such cases there is a great potential for conflict of interest.
Livvy,
Thank you for your comments. You are right. We have to be good communicators, and most women do go into the caring professions, or service industries.
Entre Amigos,
Thank you for your comments. There are a few escorts out there, who have done sex therapy training. I think Gillette falls into this category.
Yes, my understanding is psychotherapists cannot give clients what they ask for.
A client may think a psychotherapist is a befriender, or advice giver, which is inaccurate.
I think the same applies to escorts, in that a client may come in with a tick list, but some of the tick list is not on offer.
So, they do not always give the customer what they ask for.
Thank you for your comments. You are right. We have to be good communicators, and most women do go into the caring professions, or service industries.
Entre Amigos,
Thank you for your comments. There are a few escorts out there, who have done sex therapy training. I think Gillette falls into this category.
Yes, my understanding is psychotherapists cannot give clients what they ask for.
A client may think a psychotherapist is a befriender, or advice giver, which is inaccurate.
I think the same applies to escorts, in that a client may come in with a tick list, but some of the tick list is not on offer.
So, they do not always give the customer what they ask for.
We cannot provide the answers, but we can listen and give comfort. As working girls we are not in a position to even gently persuade our clients to do something as what we are doing ( especially with the married ones at any rate) is morally wrong.
I have a regular client who is going though hell at the moment. he is breaking up with his girlfriend after a long term relationship. I listened to him talking about his fears for a long time last night. I pointed out that a trial separation might be a good idea ( since they have agreed to art for good in August) but I felt like a hypocrite even making that suggestion.
I have a regular client who is going though hell at the moment. he is breaking up with his girlfriend after a long term relationship. I listened to him talking about his fears for a long time last night. I pointed out that a trial separation might be a good idea ( since they have agreed to art for good in August) but I felt like a hypocrite even making that suggestion.
Jo,
Thank you for your comments. Some of my clients confide in me, and want some support. I never persuade anyone to do anything, however I sometimes give my opinion, if asked.
I do not understand why you feel a hypocrite?
Thank you for your comments. Some of my clients confide in me, and want some support. I never persuade anyone to do anything, however I sometimes give my opinion, if asked.
I do not understand why you feel a hypocrite?
Beacuse he was confiding in me - a prostitute about his personal relationship with someone he loves and still did things with me.. hang on, I get it.. it's not me who is the hypocrite is it? But I am by proxy.
confused this week.... :)
confused this week.... :)
"Who would have thought there would be similarities?"
Well, I would. I think a lot of escorts and clients would.
I also think that a psychotherapist who didn't realize the similarities, or was "up in arms about it," wouldn't be a very good psychotherapist. :-)
Chevalier
Well, I would. I think a lot of escorts and clients would.
I also think that a psychotherapist who didn't realize the similarities, or was "up in arms about it," wouldn't be a very good psychotherapist. :-)
Chevalier
# posted by :
Thu Jul 05, 02:19:00 pm
:
Thu Jul 05, 02:19:00 pm
She got you going here Nia to write a really good comparison. Great points.
I once had a lawyer-blogger say that she and I were similar in that we both screw people for money, but at least I tried to make sure that my clients also had a good time!! (hehehe..she's good, yes?).
Anyway- I think there are lots of similarities but that on some levels an escort can be of more benefit. Taking a break, shifting the energy, having fun in times of stress does wonders for someone. My guess is that if you saw two people walking out of a session- one with a therapist and one with an escort- the person leaving the escort would have a bigger smile and a better day than the one who saw the therapist.
I once had a lawyer-blogger say that she and I were similar in that we both screw people for money, but at least I tried to make sure that my clients also had a good time!! (hehehe..she's good, yes?).
Anyway- I think there are lots of similarities but that on some levels an escort can be of more benefit. Taking a break, shifting the energy, having fun in times of stress does wonders for someone. My guess is that if you saw two people walking out of a session- one with a therapist and one with an escort- the person leaving the escort would have a bigger smile and a better day than the one who saw the therapist.
Chevalier,
Thank you for your comments. You know there are a lot of people who do not think like you,lol.
*sighs*
Gillette,
Thank you for your comments. ROFL. Maybe clients should be offered the choice?
Thank you for your comments. You know there are a lot of people who do not think like you,lol.
*sighs*
Gillette,
Thank you for your comments. ROFL. Maybe clients should be offered the choice?
I actually agree with most of your descriptions of similarities much more than I do with Miss Melancholy.
I have visited both escorts and psychotherapists professionally. I have no problem in saying that I visit a psychotherapist to anyone.
However there is a huge stigma about visiting an escort - and my wife might not be too pleased!
I am concerned if a psychotherapist feels there is a similar stigma about visiting her.
It is a sad reflection of our society that there is still such stigma attached to mental health problems that affect a high percentage of the population.
B xx
I have visited both escorts and psychotherapists professionally. I have no problem in saying that I visit a psychotherapist to anyone.
However there is a huge stigma about visiting an escort - and my wife might not be too pleased!
I am concerned if a psychotherapist feels there is a similar stigma about visiting her.
It is a sad reflection of our society that there is still such stigma attached to mental health problems that affect a high percentage of the population.
B xx
Beau,
Thank you for your comments.
My understanding is that there are people who see counsellors and psychotherapists, who are not comfortable sharing this information with people.
Sadly, as you point out, there is a stigma out there. I think things are changing though.
It can have implications for people who have taken time off for work, for mental health reasons.
Most employers make you believe that they are not judgemental.
I have been on interview panels, and heard the other views. It is disgusting.
In the US, it seems that it is more acceptable, as most people have a therapist as they would have a hairdresser.
*runs for cover*
Thank you for your comments.
My understanding is that there are people who see counsellors and psychotherapists, who are not comfortable sharing this information with people.
Sadly, as you point out, there is a stigma out there. I think things are changing though.
It can have implications for people who have taken time off for work, for mental health reasons.
Most employers make you believe that they are not judgemental.
I have been on interview panels, and heard the other views. It is disgusting.
In the US, it seems that it is more acceptable, as most people have a therapist as they would have a hairdresser.
*runs for cover*
How do you find all that stuff? And find the time to blog in between the bloody appraisals. Not to mention the real work?
As for appraisals - Sigh.
I have little patience, so for those people I dont believe in, mine tend to be brief. And for the ones that are better then me, well, they dont need much appraisal. I try to hang on to them as long as I can, and when they leave, I hope they'll be good ambassadors for me later on.
Back on topic: I agree with the psychotherapist. And how interesting to see that your first addition is the "fixed fee" item.
A good laugh at that lawyer. Indeed.
There is a renouned speaker in my own industry who consistently compares a certain breed of consultants to prostitutes. And he makes his point so well, including hidden references to the abbreviations BJ and OWO, That I wonder if he is seeing Working Ladies.
Keep going: Your blog provides permanent ideas for more thinking and posting (I need more time...)
and I have pointed saveral Ladies to your place already. They love it.
Thanks for providing this excellent news-clipping-service and some good commentary.
High Regards,
Ptr.
(with a ton of notes to keep him busy on journeys)
As for appraisals - Sigh.
I have little patience, so for those people I dont believe in, mine tend to be brief. And for the ones that are better then me, well, they dont need much appraisal. I try to hang on to them as long as I can, and when they leave, I hope they'll be good ambassadors for me later on.
Back on topic: I agree with the psychotherapist. And how interesting to see that your first addition is the "fixed fee" item.
A good laugh at that lawyer. Indeed.
There is a renouned speaker in my own industry who consistently compares a certain breed of consultants to prostitutes. And he makes his point so well, including hidden references to the abbreviations BJ and OWO, That I wonder if he is seeing Working Ladies.
Keep going: Your blog provides permanent ideas for more thinking and posting (I need more time...)
and I have pointed saveral Ladies to your place already. They love it.
Thanks for providing this excellent news-clipping-service and some good commentary.
High Regards,
Ptr.
(with a ton of notes to keep him busy on journeys)
Peter,
Thank you for your comments. I discover all the stuff that I find by browsing. I find I have less time these days. I do not have as much time on my hands as when I started this blog.
It is a juggling act,day job and escorting.
At the moment I make time to blog, but do not blog as often as I used to.
I like your view on appraisals, but do not think I have got there yet.
Thank you for pointing some people in my direction.
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Thank you for your comments. I discover all the stuff that I find by browsing. I find I have less time these days. I do not have as much time on my hands as when I started this blog.
It is a juggling act,day job and escorting.
At the moment I make time to blog, but do not blog as often as I used to.
I like your view on appraisals, but do not think I have got there yet.
Thank you for pointing some people in my direction.
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