Thursday, November 16, 2006
Guilt
I slept with a priest yesterday. I had seen him a number of times, but he only let on that he was a priest yesterday, after he had come. This guy is up there with the DATY experts.
I wonder who taught him how to do it?
When he went down on me, I started to sing Hallelujah! He managed to do things at just the right pace. After he came, he disclosed that he was a priest. This freaked the hell out of me. I am a lapsed catholic, and can barely remember what I was taught in my catechism. It is strange, because every saturday, I was dragged off for spiritual direction, and had to learn all this stuff, off by heart. One thing I do remember is no sex with priests, no sex end of, unless you were married.
Well, where am I now?
He was not a catholic, so maybe that is not so bad. I know I am going down, but I just did not want to tip the scales, and sleeping with a priest may do that. In fact I believe most of us are going down, so see you all there :)
Had I known he was a priest before he saw me, would I have seen him?
I do not think so. I know this all sounds really hypocritical, but I just feel uncomfortable with it. Clearly if he had not mentioned it, I would not have had an issue with it. I guess my view on priests is, they are sacred.
Yeah, yeah, I also know about the priests who sexually abuse children, women and men, and I find that sick.
I have a client, a Trustafarian, who felt really guilty whenever he saw me. He was young, fit, and had lots of money to burn. Same routine, whenever I saw him. Catch up on what had been happening in our lives, debate about current events, and then down to action. This man worked my body out, and he had some serious moves. When it was all over, the guilt came out. He could not understand why I was doing this.
Why had I chosen escorting?
If things were so bad, why did I not stack shelves?
I was intelligent, and educated, and he felt awful dealing with what he had done to me. He said he felt sick. The thing is he kept on calling every week, without fail.
So, if it was so bad, why did he call?
I think with the Trustafarian, it was a ritual that we needed to go through each time we met.
Then there is Mr Swot who feels guilty because he knows why I do this, but would feel better if I was just doing it to buy Mulberry handbags, bless him.
It goes on and on and on and on.
I wonder who taught him how to do it?
When he went down on me, I started to sing Hallelujah! He managed to do things at just the right pace. After he came, he disclosed that he was a priest. This freaked the hell out of me. I am a lapsed catholic, and can barely remember what I was taught in my catechism. It is strange, because every saturday, I was dragged off for spiritual direction, and had to learn all this stuff, off by heart. One thing I do remember is no sex with priests, no sex end of, unless you were married.
Well, where am I now?
He was not a catholic, so maybe that is not so bad. I know I am going down, but I just did not want to tip the scales, and sleeping with a priest may do that. In fact I believe most of us are going down, so see you all there :)
Had I known he was a priest before he saw me, would I have seen him?
I do not think so. I know this all sounds really hypocritical, but I just feel uncomfortable with it. Clearly if he had not mentioned it, I would not have had an issue with it. I guess my view on priests is, they are sacred.
Yeah, yeah, I also know about the priests who sexually abuse children, women and men, and I find that sick.
I have a client, a Trustafarian, who felt really guilty whenever he saw me. He was young, fit, and had lots of money to burn. Same routine, whenever I saw him. Catch up on what had been happening in our lives, debate about current events, and then down to action. This man worked my body out, and he had some serious moves. When it was all over, the guilt came out. He could not understand why I was doing this.
Why had I chosen escorting?
If things were so bad, why did I not stack shelves?
I was intelligent, and educated, and he felt awful dealing with what he had done to me. He said he felt sick. The thing is he kept on calling every week, without fail.
So, if it was so bad, why did he call?
I think with the Trustafarian, it was a ritual that we needed to go through each time we met.
Then there is Mr Swot who feels guilty because he knows why I do this, but would feel better if I was just doing it to buy Mulberry handbags, bless him.
It goes on and on and on and on.
Labels: Black escort, Boundaries, clients, Guilt, London
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Overlain,
Thank you for your alternative perspective.
Could I just check out with you whether you believe people who give credibility to religion are not intelligent?
Thank you for your alternative perspective.
Could I just check out with you whether you believe people who give credibility to religion are not intelligent?
I'm in deeep trouble on here. As a good lapsed Catholic I wrote to Nia having a bit of a joke about the visit of the priest.
Well!!!!!!!!!!!! The crockery is already piled up as amunition.
I think the only way forward is a full confession followed by absolution and, I hope, true forgiveness.
Bless me Father for I have sinned.
It is thirty eight years, two months and five days since my last confession.
Today without excuse I did poke fun at and joke about at her expense a friend who had had sex with a priest.
What?
No of course I can't give her name. I'm not a grass!
But he wasn't a Catholic priest so it doesn't really count - does it?
Yes of course Father. Yes I will give her a public apology.
Three Hail Mary's and an Our Father? That sounds very fair Father.
See you.
Well if the church has forgiven me surely Nia will do so too?
B xx
* Peeping carefully from a defensive position behind the sofa! *
Well!!!!!!!!!!!! The crockery is already piled up as amunition.
I think the only way forward is a full confession followed by absolution and, I hope, true forgiveness.
Bless me Father for I have sinned.
It is thirty eight years, two months and five days since my last confession.
Today without excuse I did poke fun at and joke about at her expense a friend who had had sex with a priest.
What?
No of course I can't give her name. I'm not a grass!
But he wasn't a Catholic priest so it doesn't really count - does it?
Yes of course Father. Yes I will give her a public apology.
Three Hail Mary's and an Our Father? That sounds very fair Father.
See you.
Well if the church has forgiven me surely Nia will do so too?
B xx
* Peeping carefully from a defensive position behind the sofa! *
Beau,
You can come out from behind the sofa now.
Forgiveness is what you and I both need as lapsed Catholics.
You can come out from behind the sofa now.
Forgiveness is what you and I both need as lapsed Catholics.
I think people fail to realize that as far as Catholicism goes, we're all supposed to remember that at the end of the day, no matter who we are, we're all just human. Priests may have the "official job" of reminding us and teaching us this, but at the end of THEIR day, they are humans just like we are. And humans have been brought into the world with sin as part of their very nature. So relax. Even priests go to confession. You don't even have to feel overly bad about it. Perhaps this can be your wake-up call that they are no more holy than any of their parishoners. And I do not think they ever claim to be. We just (somehow) expect them to be. I think that is unfair to them. It must be a lonely life. Hopefully the pope will get off his butt and life the restriction on marriage so that these men can be seen in a more human light.
As far as feeling guilty for escorts (Trustafarian...what a name!)...I think I used to feel this way sometimes. Depended on the girl and what she allowed me to know about her. Sometimes I'd call an ad and I'd hear a screaming baby in the background, or a room full of kids. And my stomach would turn (IE, I was helping to corrupt these women). My personal feelings are that the profession should be more for the childless and the unmarried, but clearly that is not the way it always works out. And I have to realize (and take to heart ) that we're all adults here, and that we have to take responsibility for OUR OWN actions. I can not make you a more moral person, and you can not do the same for me. We both have to set our OWN "moral compass". And as a client, this is why I wanted to know very little about the woman's actual life. Minor chit-chat was ok, but lets be honest, I came to you because I want to fuck. Let's talk about fucking.
I think that it is absolutely true, many girls get into this for all the wrong reasons. I tried to choose girls whom I felt were mature enough to have chosen their path for the RIGHT reasons (for them). Was I successful? Sometimes not, but probably most of the time.
As far as feeling guilty for escorts (Trustafarian...what a name!)...I think I used to feel this way sometimes. Depended on the girl and what she allowed me to know about her. Sometimes I'd call an ad and I'd hear a screaming baby in the background, or a room full of kids. And my stomach would turn (IE, I was helping to corrupt these women). My personal feelings are that the profession should be more for the childless and the unmarried, but clearly that is not the way it always works out. And I have to realize (and take to heart ) that we're all adults here, and that we have to take responsibility for OUR OWN actions. I can not make you a more moral person, and you can not do the same for me. We both have to set our OWN "moral compass". And as a client, this is why I wanted to know very little about the woman's actual life. Minor chit-chat was ok, but lets be honest, I came to you because I want to fuck. Let's talk about fucking.
I think that it is absolutely true, many girls get into this for all the wrong reasons. I tried to choose girls whom I felt were mature enough to have chosen their path for the RIGHT reasons (for them). Was I successful? Sometimes not, but probably most of the time.
# posted by 
:
Thu Nov 16, 05:05:00 pm
:
Thu Nov 16, 05:05:00 pm
From Overlain's post:
It always amazes me that intelligent people give the slightest credibility to religion these days.
I agree totally. The older I get the more disturbed I become that normally rational and intelligent people can believe such mumbo jumbo.
And the damage it does to the world. Catholics fighting Protestants in Ireland, Christians fighting Muslims in the Balkans, Shias fighting Sunnis in Iraq, Hindus fighting Muslims in India, Jews fighting Muslims in Palestine. One could go on.
All because of fanatical faith in an irrational belief.
I really do despair at times.
It always amazes me that intelligent people give the slightest credibility to religion these days.
I agree totally. The older I get the more disturbed I become that normally rational and intelligent people can believe such mumbo jumbo.
And the damage it does to the world. Catholics fighting Protestants in Ireland, Christians fighting Muslims in the Balkans, Shias fighting Sunnis in Iraq, Hindus fighting Muslims in India, Jews fighting Muslims in Palestine. One could go on.
All because of fanatical faith in an irrational belief.
I really do despair at times.
Overlain mentioned "indulgencies".
You used to be able to buy indulgencies which would reduce your time in pergatory.
So that just makes paid sex even more expensive. A couple of hundred quid for an hour with an escort and then how much I wonder to buy an indulgence to gain forgiveness for the sins committed during that hour?
I suppose escorts would have to put up their prices to pay for their own indulgencies.
I think God must be a capitalist. So much for all that "give up thy worldly goods and follow me"!
B xx
You used to be able to buy indulgencies which would reduce your time in pergatory.
So that just makes paid sex even more expensive. A couple of hundred quid for an hour with an escort and then how much I wonder to buy an indulgence to gain forgiveness for the sins committed during that hour?
I suppose escorts would have to put up their prices to pay for their own indulgencies.
I think God must be a capitalist. So much for all that "give up thy worldly goods and follow me"!
B xx
Overlain,
I do not know if England ever gets to see the TV comedy series "South Park", but last week's episode very brilliantly tackled this very subject. One of the characters is frozen and then awakened 500+ years in the future.
In that future, religion has been left behind and the entire planet is atheistic. However, the different factions of the world still war and slaughter each other over the precise manner in which they practice their atheism. Quite funny, actually. You'd enjoy it.
I do not know if England ever gets to see the TV comedy series "South Park", but last week's episode very brilliantly tackled this very subject. One of the characters is frozen and then awakened 500+ years in the future.
In that future, religion has been left behind and the entire planet is atheistic. However, the different factions of the world still war and slaughter each other over the precise manner in which they practice their atheism. Quite funny, actually. You'd enjoy it.
# posted by :
Thu Nov 16, 09:45:00 pm
:
Thu Nov 16, 09:45:00 pm
Actually, the futuristic characters are warring over the NAME of their atheistic allinaces. It is quite funny.
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# posted by :
Fri Nov 17, 04:34:00 pm
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