Friday, November 24, 2006

Please stay

A friend had given Jacques(not his real name) my number. He had a thing for Black escorts. I got to his flat one evening, and he seemed to be a normal guy. Some good background music playing, and a little chit chat. I got to know him better over time.

The first alarm bell, was him trying to heat something up in a pipe. I am no drug user, and at the time I had no idea what he was doing. Duh! He wanted us to dance, which was cool with me, and then he would take my clothes off. The next thing was having a bath together, which became a regular thing. I usually have a shower before I see a client, but with Jacques, it was part of the booking. I am shaven, and on further bookings Jacques would ask whether he could shave me. I was not prepared to take the risk with his drug use, and really would not let any client do this.

I remember saying to Jacques, that I needed to go to the loo. His face lit up, and he asked me whether I would piss in his mouth. I was shocked, watersports is not up my street at all. As soon as he said it, I suddenly did not need to go to the loo. He begged and begged, but I just could not do it. This is not about my Catholic upbringing, it is more about being programmed to use a toilet bowl when I need to go to the loo, not someone's mouth. I know some people drink their own piss, because they feel it can cure ailments, but that is not something I do either.

Jacques, is very successful in his field. He is one of the guys who will get a very hefty bonus this year. What I saw was a vulnerable man, who was rebelling against his parents, who carried lots of guilt, with low self esteem.

I think the drugs helped him relax, but affected his performance. He could not get it up at all, and did not care. He got his pleasure out of pleasing me, the bookings were always lots of kissing, and him giving me oral. He is good at oral. I find most cokeheads, and other clients who use drugs, tend to be really good at oral. These guys tend to extend the booking time too,which means more money. However, it can be hard work. Jacques told me that his parents would be horrified if they knew what he was doing, and furthermore with a Black woman.

Do I really need to be listening to this?

Yes, I am paid to listen, and boy did I listen to Jacques. I think that was what he needed. Someone to listen and smile without judging him. The downside is, when it was time to go, he would get upset, and ask me to stay. He had paid for more time, but then wanted me to stay with him on my own time, as he said I was only going home to bed! The other thing is that whenever he called me, he expected me to fly to his flat, and would call me about six times, before I got there. I was never late, but I think there was something about him having no concept of time, with whatever drug he was taking.

I worry about him, and am also fascinated by how he can function so well in the outside world. I have read about him in the newspaper. Sadly each time I see him, his drug use has increased. He said he would like to see me as a friend, but does not feel that he has the guts to, without drugs.

Bookings with guys who take drugs are usually a piece of cake, and as I said more money, but also extremely draining for me. I think if I took drugs, then it would be okay, but I do not.

Must dash otherwise someone is going to get pissed off with me.

Have a good weekend!

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Amazingly given my background, education and career, I've never had or seen any contact with hard drugs, so can't comment on that except that I have met a few escorts that were red-eyed and very chatty. Never a good sign.
On the subjects of watersports, one of the first girls ever I saw in East Europe was a beautiful Winona Rider lookalike. She was a real head-turner but in the bedroom all she wanted to do was PSE sex such as really hard deep throat. She had a problem with anything bordering on the romantic, so she wouldn't even allow a little kiss on her cheek. One time I unthinkingly caressed her shoulder and gave her a little kiss, and I saw her really cringe. "You ever tried pissing?" she said. "Er, no why would I want someone to piss on me?" I replied. "Ohh it's okay, you can piss all over me" she said. Maybe some guys would like that, but all I could think of was how messy it would be, and it made me really worry for her state of mind, because it was purely a reaction to a little kiss. I declined the offer and never saw her again, I hope she worked her issues out though.
Another english escort I saw, who I think had just quit smoking and was having a really bad day, started telling me all the weird things she'd been asked to do. Again this was a girl who acted very PSE, but was really a very insecure and sensitive person as I discovered. Sometimes I think the best thing for these people is to play along with the PSE game even though it's not my thing, because they can become really unsettled if you reach through to the real them. I was just left thinking, "hmmm I'm paying 100s per hour to listen to this poor girl's stream of consciousness, including telling me how some clients like her to dump on them." Needless to say I didn't return to her either. Sometimes I feel horribly conservative, but I just don't like the psychological stuff.

I guess the EE escort that you saw made assumptions about you as a client. Thinking you would be open to watersports, and clearly did not feel comfortable with anything that she felt was intimate.

I do not know, but I think the two women you mentioned, were fearful of you getting to the real parts of them.

Or maybe they just were not comfortable with it, and wanted to hold a part of themselves back.

I do not think it is about you being conservative?

I am beginning to wonder what mainstream is?
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