Thursday, December 07, 2006

Making a connection

There are some clients that I click with, and some that I do not. It does not matter to me if we do not click, but when we do, it adds something to the whole experience.

Mr Cockroach contacted me a year ago. We had arranged to meet last year, but he cancelled. He confessed that he chickened out. I still have not found out why. There was something about the way in which he made contact, that made me aware that I was dealing with a gentleman. The first phonecall, followed by an email a few hours later giving me some information about himself. The email was not one of those lengthy I am a CEO, with properties, in Switzerland, the Grand Caymans, and Monaco, and very successful type emails; but more this is who I am. Mr Cockroach is successful but clearly did not feel the need to send a lengthy email telling me that, as some clients do.

He says he was intrigued, and had been reading my reviews, and decided to make contact this year. He does not live in the UK. Both times that I have seen him, he has been jetlagged, but has insisted on seeing me.

The first time we met, he was nervous, but calmed down after a while. I did not realise how nervous he was the first time, until he mentioned when we met again, how he had not taken in how cosy the flat was.

After our first meeting, he sent me an email as soon as he arrived back home, to say that he had enjoyed our time together. There have been several phone calls since, and numerous emails. It felt okay, because the contact did not come across as stalkerish in any way. It was more, how is life treating you.

I saw Mr Cockroach earlier this week. He is such a warm, kind,charming,funny gentleman. I am a sucker for charming, funny, kind gentlemen. He could not stop showering me with compliments. I have a problem with positive feedback generally, as it makes me feel uncomfortable, and I sometimes think that it is fake. It is something that I am working on. I told him to stop paying me compliments, and pointed out that I was not his girlfriend or wife, and there was no need to do so. He got quite upset, and said, that I needed to learn to accept positive feedback, which is true. I guess I was just concerned that he may feel that is what I need. I know some escorts, and women, who need constant validation to feel good, and I just wanted to make it clear to him, that I was different.

There are certain points of our meeting this week that I will not forget, the conversations and laughter, before, during and after. Mr Cockroach is a big softie.

He loves to hug, and so do I. I was doing cowgirl, and at one point he asked me whether I was, and then asked what reverse cowgirl was, and then asked what cowboy was, and we burst out laughing.

While I was going down on him, he asked me what my overnight rates were, and whether it was okay to ask. Well, I do not discuss rates over the phone, but while I had his member in my mouth, that was okay by me, in between the licking and sucking. We both started trying to figure out when we would have free slots in our diary this week. This was in between the oohs and the aahs. It was hilarious, and we were giggling.

Mr Cockroach, then proceeded to tell me that I had no idea what a blowjob was like, because I did not have a dick. This is true. I asked him to try and explain, which he did with difficulty, in between the oohs and the aahs. More giggles.

He was almost at the critical moment, and someone just happened to walk by the flat window, and was having a conversation on his phone, and shouted "C'mon man!" . We could not help ourselves.

Our conversation varied from my lack of a penis, to politics within organisations, to difficulties that we have with our siblings, and living on sandy beaches.

He gave me a huge tip, and had before. It is not necessary, but I appreciate it.

Mr Cockroach does not see me as just an escort. He can see beyond that.He is interested in all the different facets of my personality. I warm to him. Just in case you have not figured that out by now.


I think it is the way he treated me, that has left an impression. He is the sort of man that I envisage would be extremely difficult to hold rigid boundaries with. I think the problem would be on my side, not him pushing my boundaries, but me finding it difficult to keep things in place. He knows what makes me tick, and we have only met twice. Another client to add to my no hassle/no problem/good list.

Unfortunately, not all the clients I meet are on my good list. I am amazed when I read about escorts who say they have no difficult or problem clients. I wish I could say the same. So far, the good outweigh the bad, and when the scales shift, I am outta here.

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Comments:
You sound to have had a lovely time with this client! I hope you get more like him.

Though you write:
He is the sort of man that I envisage would be extremely difficult to hold rigid boundaries with.

yet also

Another client to add to my no hassle/no problem/good list.

It just jumped out at me because I was having a discussion about this elsewhere! I know you are well aware of such issues and adept at taking care.
 
Yes Beau,

I had a good time :).

The boundary issue is something that I would have difficulty keeping in place. Nothing to do with him.

I am not as clinical as you think I am.

*Heads for the crockery*
 
For some reason I imagine that most men behave like that, but then I've always been a bit naive. Anyway, I think a totally relaxed bit of canoodling and hugging is a much underrated thing. I know some escorts who will do just about anything to you apart from a nice cuddle, I guess it's a boundary problem again. For what it's worth, you've never struck me as the least bit clinical xx
p.s. you were talking before about how some clients worry about why girls go into escorting and like to imagine it's to buy nice clothes. Well I saw an EE girl the other day who said she didn't bother trying on her designer clothes before buying them. If they don't fit she just gives them away to her friends! That's what you should tell me next time we meet, makes me feel much better ;-)
 
Overlain,

Well, unfortunately most men I meet do not behave like that. I know you do though. :)

Thank you for thinking that I am not clinical, Beau may have different views,lol.

Okay, Overlain, I will tell you whatever you want to me to tell you, to make you feel better.

Just let me know what it is before we meet,pmsl.
 
Funny, but "Pretty Woman" came out in theatres while I was in college and in the middle of my busiest days of seeing escorts. Julia Roberts' character puzzled Richard Gere's by refusing to kiss him. I chuckled to myself, as I personally had a thing against kissing ladies. It was not real. These girls did not feel affection for me, so I did not want to be kissed. I consider kissing to be even more intimate than sexual intercourse (as odd as that might sound) same goes for intimate hand holding and stroking of the palms and fingers. I just did not want faked intimacy with a girl, even though the sexual attraction was also fake...but I wanted to get laid, and I saw that as a difference. Am I mad?
 
GGL,

I do not think you are mad. I did not kiss when I started escorting.

It was something that I wanted to hold back.

I understand what you are saying. I think kissing is very intimate.

I am thinking about only kissing at my discretion!
 
Thank you for thinking that I am not clinical, Beau may have different views,lol.

Beau always has different views ...

... almost always wrong!

I know you are not clinical Nnnnnnnnnia

- Though if you want to put on your nurses uniform ....

;)

B xxxx
 
These girls did not feel affection for me, so I did not want to be kissed. I consider kissing to be even more intimate than sexual intercourse (as odd as that might sound) same goes for intimate hand holding and stroking of the palms and fingers. I just did not want faked intimacy with a girl, even though the sexual attraction was also fake...but I wanted to get laid, and I saw that as a difference. Am I mad?

No not mad - but it hits an essential spot.

I love to kiss and cuddle with escorts.

I stroked and kissed an escort's palms today. I stroked and kissed her neck and shoulders. She was so pleased ...

Am I mad?

- B
 
I can't imagine seeing an escort who doesn't kiss. I can get cold non-intimate sex for 50 quid just down the road. For me the whole point of an escort is for her to be the girlfriend who unaccountably has the hots for me despite being a million miles out of my league. Obviously some girls like kissing more than others but most that I've met seem to really get into it. Maybe I shouldn't have had that garlic, spinach and spring onion baguette just before seeing Nia...
 
Yes, but you know it seems to me that when you get involved in kissing, then you are totally THERE and it is a total experience. The thing I DON'T want in sex is for it to be a kind of porno experience where you are looking at it from the outside.

Sex can be a bit like method acting. When you become competely immersed in the act, you forget your own self, and it just becomes a man and a woman doing what men and women have always done for millions of years, not a john and an escort conducting a transaction.

That is when it is good. But I find it nearly always is good, and if it is not good, then it is generally my fault, because I have been rushed or preoccupied, or in some way not totally in the moment.

The amazing thing that I never expected to find out was that this can be achieved in the pay for sex environment.

Hope this does not sound like complete drivel. Hard to explain to someone who has not experienced it.
 
Addendum:

Regarding the issue of boundaries, it seems to me that the knack is to have a breakdown of boundaries while the sex is going on, a temporary suspension of reality during passionate sex, but then to resume normal operations once it is over.

You can fall in love with any sex parter, but selecting one for a relationship should be based on a rational decision, for when you have many good sexual parters, sex is not such an important criterion.

There is a good book called What's Love Got To Do With It? (the "It" being marriage) written by an anthropologist who studied the world of ladies of the night in the Dominican Republic, that addresses this issue. It's available on Amazon US.
 
Overlain,

I think kissing is a new development in the past eight years,lol. It was not unusual for girls not to kiss. Read sorry no kissing by Daniel Bailey.

James B,

Thank you for your comments. It does not sound like drivel. I have experienced it, but that is too long a story to go into here :). Thank you for the book recommendation.
 
I can't turn my emotions off and on like a lightswitch. If I start kissing a girl, I'm going to want to continue kissing, and I'l want to believe that it was intentional and real. But it is not real. Well, if it is real, then it means a very expensive girlfriend. I'd have been bankrupt.

I see the desires of those who prefer kissing. I just wonder what goes through their brain when it ends,
 
Fun blog, Nia.

I have to ask why the name for this very nice guy? I kept thinking that something awful was going to happen as my references to cockroaches is not too positive. My brain is not working and I do not understand the symbolism of your choice.

Happy you had good experiences with him and that the name ends up referring to his longevity and ability to survive.
 
Hi Gillette,

Thanks for saying my blog is fun.

The use of the word cockroach is something to do with a long standing joke.

I look forward to reading your blog.
 
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