Friday, January 12, 2007

Anonymous and Non Anonymous Escort Blogs

Peridot Ash inspired this post by saying that I dare to blog attached to my escort identity here.

I found her remark funny, and I think I understand what she is saying. I am sure Peridot Ash will come in and correct me, if I have misunderstood her.

As you know I started blogging at the end of October last year. It was not something that I had given much thought to. I have a side to my personality that is impulsive. I decided that I would give it a go one day, and did. I had no idea how many escort blogs existed.

After I took the initial step, I started to read a number of escort blogs, most of which were anonymous. I picked up that most anonymous escort bloggers, felt that if you were not anonymous, you were advertising, plain and simple.

Now I must be thick. When I started blogging, or whenever I come up with a post, I do not think, " I have to advertise my ass, while I am doing this."

I just write what is on my mind, what moves me, puzzles me, saddens me, amuses me, or pisses me off. Yes, my blog is attached to my site, but the intention was not to write the blog, to bring in clients. It was to express myself, and have a conversation with my readers.

I never considered blogging anonymously, because I have to confess, I do not want anyone to question that I am not the person writing the blog ie, I could be a man.

I have had feedback from some individuals who believe that my blog will filter my clients. Again, this was not my intention, but I can see how that could be possible.

I also wonder whether there is a feeling of contempt from anonymous escort bloggers, towards non anonymous escort bloggers; because they feel the latter cannot and do not tell the truth about their experiences.

I have read blogs that I believe are purely about advertising, where escorts have different photos of themselves, in every post,. Most of these bloggers never mention any encounters with their clients, and the content is all positive.It could be true.

This is where I agree with Peridot Ash. The content is watered down in these blogs. I get the impression that Peridot Ash feels I say a bit too much for an escort who is not anonymous.

I write how I see things, and if that prevents some clients from booking me, so be it.

I think it is similar to some of the issues raised in the reviews post.

We can get so caught up thinking that everyone reads our blogs, when it is only a minority of people who do.Most of the people who do are bloggers. The number of people who read my professional site, far outweigh the numbers who read my blog.

We all know how difficult it is to get clients to read our rates, and the text on our professional sites, right?

Given the large numbers of calls we receive from men who cannot take in what is written on our professional sites; how the hell do we expect them to make the leap and read our blogs?????

You tell me?

I read Peridot Ash and Mercurial Girl's blogs daily, and enjoy them. I accept that when you blog anonymously you have a certain level of freedom. You can write with reckless abandon if you wish, and noone knows who you are, and how to find you.It is a safer option, however some anonymous bloggers have been tracked down, and some have felt they need to change their blogs to invitation only. I feel the snoops have more motivation towards anonymous bloggers, the sense of gratification is greater.

Here is Mercurial girl's view on non anonymous bloggers.

Clearly, escort bloggers write what they want to write and how they want to write it.

The escort blogs that I enjoy most are anonymous.

I suppose I do not fit the profile of the sterotypical non anonymous blogger, or maybe I do.

You tell me?

Have a good weekend!

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I think your blog is very honest Nia and is clearly "you".

There are some emotional aspects and demands of the job that few escorts will be fully open about whilst they are still working for obvious reasons. However I'm not sure the anonymous bloggers cover such areas any better. Though I confess I have not read enough in detail.

I think also that in a few short months you have managed to create a blog that can discuss serious issues seriously but can also have a joke and a bit of fun. It's turning into an excellent blog Nia and I hope that your readership is growing.


B xxxx
Hi Nia, you didn't misunderstand my meaning at all, and in fact I now stand corrected and have changed what I wrote. I hadn't considered this grey area before. Thanks for shedding some light.
Another fascinating post!

You have identified one of the reasons why I have links to very few escort blogs on my own blog--that there are very few worth reading consistently, because many are just advertising or just bland vanilla-flavor blogs of no particular interest.

I'm not sure whether your blog would be positive or negative in terms of attracting clients. I agree with what you say about most not reading it, and certainly we know that even fewer will comment on it.

If I was a potential client, I might be deterred by your blog, because the service you provide is a kind of theater, and when you see too much of the wizard behind the curtain, then the fantasy loses the power to inspire.

But I am not a typical John, so my opinion is probably of limited value.

As blogs go, yours is the best escort blog I have seen, and I have looked at many. Clearly you have a strong drive to express yourself, possibly because escorting creates powerful and conflicting feelings about your identity and what you are doing--I'm just guessing, but there has to be some reason why you blog so compulsively, because we don't do things that we don't want to do (like cleaning the toilet) as often as those things we feel we have to do come what may.
The blog will filter some clients. But, I came to believe in a more positive than negative way.
Few will read it. Yes, too many men won't bother even with reading the full text of your ad, not to mention the blog. But those who do, and come back to read the archives can be some of the most amazing clients you'd have.

I find that it's such people that I tend to have best connection with. And they go to a great length to let you know how incredible you are, mind, body and soul; and how they appreciate and treasure every aspect of you. They also make the most faithful regulars because they become addicted to your personality rather than "service".

Thank you for your comments.
I am glad that you think what I write is honest.

I appreciate that you feel that I can have a joke and a bit of fun, and explore serious issues.


Thank you for your comments. I did not want you to change what you wrote, but thank you anyway.

James B,

Thank you for your comments.

I had not thought about the wizard behind the curtain. I suppose in a sense you are reinforcing my point, by expressing myself, ie saying too much, I might deter some people,LMAO.

Thank you for your feelings about my blog. James, we both know what some people think about your tastes on escort bloggers,LOL.

My dear James, could you say a bit more about why you think I blog compulsively??????????

I assumed an entry a day was the norm.

At what point does it become compulsive?


Thank you for your perspective.
Agree with Beau. To add my own tuppen'orth, I would say that blogging in your own name does not have to be about hard sell, but showing there is a person behind the thoughts.
Sharing views on this industry openly helps to keep lines of communication live; where there would be less of an interest to readers from within the sex industry were they to be anonymous.

I was not a lover of blogs until Nia created hers.She has put a different slant on it and I look forward to sharing her thoughts.

Thank you for your comments. It is good to see you here.
There are certainly some limitations when an escort blogs non-anonymously. It's not just the "wizard behind the curtain" or filtering out (hopefully only a few) potential clients because some of the things you say in general make them lose interest. There are also the topics you may not be able to talk about as freely -- mostly, negative feelings about specific encounters with specific clients. That makes ANY potential client fearful that some of his deficiencies may show up in print, even though without naming him. (We always think everyone will recognize it's a reference to us.) :-)

But that's a relatively minor limitation. Based on limited time I've spent with, for example, Compartments blog -- there are SOME posts she might not make if prospective clients of X knew that X = Compartments. But those are a small minority of the blog. From limited time I've spent with your blog, Nia, I haven't seen those types of posts here . . . but that still leaves you with LOTS of interesting things to blog about. :-)

The reason most escort blogs aren't very good isn't that they include an indirect advertising component or that they're non-anonymous and have to self-censor to a degree. It's that, other than advertising and bitching about clients, they have nothing interesting to say.

Which is why blogs like yours, and Compartments, and a few others are so refreshing and stand out from the crowd.

I agree with Thais.

Kathleen Glyde

Thank you for your comments, and kind words. I understand what you are saying,totally.


Thank you for your comments.
Thais, I think men WILL read the blog (hoping for sexy "sex" stories). We just don;t like to read volumes on your website about rules, limitations and conditions. We're men. We try to get away with whatever we can (sexually). ;-)
Let's say for a moment that you are advertising. So what? Is that not allowed? There is indeed such a thing as a promotional blog out there, and it is a perfectly legitimate use of the blogging model.

(By the way, I have to admit that, more than once, I have caught myself wondering, "Hmm, I wonder how much airfare to London is...", and I will even admit to visiting a currency converter website for the express purpose of considering your rates in US dollars. So, if you *are* advertising, it is at least somewhat effective!)

Thank you for your comments.

I agree, I do not think there is a right or wrong.

I just think there is a variation in the types of escort blogs out there. Some of us prefer to read blogs that are not purely about advertising.

LMAO about the currency converter!
Heh. I'm glad that you are entertained by the notion of a guy in Seattle giving serious (albeit, hypothetical) thought to engaging you for a session.

And, BTW, it's not the airfare that's stopping me... your rates are steep!
Compulsive? I don't think you are sitting down each day thinking to yourself "now, how can I crank out 5500 words today?" I think you are walking around all day with ideas buzzing around your head, and that you just have to get them written down and published.

You are clearly better educated than most escort blog writers, which makes a difference. One just has to compare your list of favorite books to most.

Writing a blog post, laying it out, adding links etc. is all a lot of work and hard to sustain unless you are driven. This is why so many blogs start out promisingly but fade.

In answer to Scarface, I don't think there is anything wrong with advertising blogs, but they are inherently less interesting.

Regarding the "wizard behind the curtain", I would agree that Nia is much more guarded in this area than some other bloggers, notably Pru Moore who blogs as Diary of a Longdon Based Ebony Escort (link on my blog) who writes detailed accounts of encounters on her blog, probably to titillate readers, though I think she changes some details. In one post she tells of a client who read her blog and said that he had not realised she had an orgasm with him, but in fact she had written that about someone else she saw the same day. I don't remember how she handles the situation. Tactfully, I am sure. If you write detailed accounts of encounters, then you will definitely need to learn these skills.
Escort blogs that are designed strictly for marketing purposes are usually quite obvious from the moment a visitor starts reading. I have no problem WITH a blog designed for that purpose. Yours is clearly not. And what is the harm if you do happen to provide a link to your escort site. The activity is legal in your neck of the woods, so personally, I think you;d be foolish NOT to allow an interested man the opportunity to try and book an appoinbtment.

But consider the "viral marketing" effect of the internet. Some of thre most entertaining websites out on the net were created for the express purpose of driving a small percentage of people who might actually be interested in a product....TO that product. I remember the funniest site back at the end of the 1990's. A British website. "Kill Mobile Phones" was filled with video footage of a guy dressed up ina mobile phone costume going up to unsuspecting people, grabbing their mobiles and demolishing them and then running away. Hillarious. Later on, we discovered it was a site created by a band who wanted to showcase their music.

What if "Girl with a one track mind" (Before her book) was really the website of a gorgeous London Escort? Millions of readers. A handfull then follow a single link to an escort website and that escort is booked solid, simply by writinga blog. Get it?

Remember my post about "A Painting a Day"? That guy was a simple painter who could barely sell ANY of his work, now he sells paitings that take him just one hour to create for upwaqrds of $500 each. Not bad.

Thanks for the clarification. Driven, I am not sure about that,lol.


Thanks for your comments and the viral marketing reference. I liked the painting a day post. He has some great stuff.
Have you noticed any increase or decrease in bookings that could be related to the blog since starting it Nia?

I have not noticed any difference,yet.
Hello Nia,

What a fascinating topic! In my view, there's no direct link between quality and anonymity, and I like the fact that you put your name to what you do.

As other commenters have said, your honesty might I suppose filter out a few potential clients, if they read it, but on the whole that's a good thing I think - the experience is just much better all round if they know a bit about who you are before they get in touch.

As for whether allowing people to know who you are makes a blog bland, I beg to differ, but then I'm admittedly biased! :-) A blog may well be partly a marketing tool, as indeed it is in my case (I have no professional site and choose not to be listed in directories or engage with escort boards). Yet it's also an honest reflection of what I think and feel.

I've often been asked why I don't write more about clients and in particular sex, and there are three reasons for that. One is that I build up a rapport with my clients and I wouldn't want my blog to jeopardise that. They tell me about their jobs, their wives, their kids, and all the myriad things that worry them. Trust on every level is a major part of what I do and I wouldn't want to harm that.

A connected reason to that is that I'm genuinely fond of the clients I see. That sounds fake I know, but it's really true - I've yet to meet someone with whom I haven't got an immediate connection. That doesn't mean I never get cross with potential clients - see the rather terse post called 'Kindness to Courtesans' for more on that - yet those I see are those I genuinely enjoy seeing.

The third reason is more mundane - I'm really no good at writing about sex. I regard blogs such as Postmodern's (sadly now defunct), Fallen Girl (now passworded) and Camilla's Erotica (still there and still as steamy as ever) with awe. I can do it :-) but I just can't put it into words, or at least not nearly that well. It's so hard to encapsulate the taste, touch, smell, sight and all the other things that make up the experience.

Those are not a comment on your writing at all, which I tremendously enjoy, but rather a way of explaining why on the whole I avoid discussing clients or sex. I like your blog just the way it is and I agree with B that it's a great mixture of serious and fun. Whether you were anonymous or not, I'd still enjoy the writing, but as your personality shines through so well, I'd be inclined to keep it linked like it is now,

Livvy xxx
English Courtesan,

Thank you for your comments.

I agree, if what I say filters out some clients, it does not bother me. I think it is best that my clients have a sense of who I am.

Clearly, some anonymous bloggers can and do write with reckless abandon.

I think the great thing about blogging, is there are so many different styles of blogs out there. Noone can ever tell us how and what to blog about.
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