Nia Dark and Lovely, a Black Escort in London

Banning four-year-olds for hugging a teacher IS absurd, but I can explain a bit. In the US the way law enforcement works seems to be different from in other countries.

For example, I am hypothesising here, but suppose there IS a problem with sexual behavior in schools. Government, probably state government, will enact a law ordaining no tolerance for any touching in schools.

Part of the law will state that any teacher or adult who witnesses any touching will be guilty of breaking the law if they do not report it to the authorities. Thus people who work in schools will take actions like suspending children, even for absurd trivial things, because they fear that if they do not, they may lose their jobs and go to prison.

Similarly, in the USA, you should avoid sending a film to be developed if it contains a picture of baby in the bath, because some film technician may feel that you are putting their job at risk.

Sad, but true. I think this attitude to law enforcement springs partly from the fundamentalist mindset that is much more prevalent here that people overseas can imagine.

So, to summarize, the heads who suspended the children probably think this is just as stupid as you do, but they are terrified for their jobs, because the law allows them no discretion. If they use discretion, they fear they may be accused of covering up, which is even worse.
 

James,

It is outrageous and ridiculous. I guess this fits with my belief of anything goes in the US. I doubt that would be accepted in the UK.

I did not realise the laws there were so rigid.
 

I have no idea what happened in America, but years and years of different situations cropping up in the media has created a hyper-sensitive school system in almost every city now. It's the accumulation of sex scandals, school shootings, poisonings, violence, bullying, etc. We can thank the American media for overblowing most situations, and creating a false sense of panic among parents and teachers.

In my city, for example, if a certain child in an elementary classroom is having a birthday, the school will no longer allow home-baked items to be brought to school for the party. All goods must be store-bought (to prevent potential food poisoning). This is most likely the result of a few well publicized cases where kids brought brownies laced with marijuana and feeding it to their teacher as joke. The solution? No more home baking.

If a student is having a bad day, or is sad or depressed, forget the days where a sympathetic teacher might offer a quick hug. That might be misread by a parent, so no teacher will ever TOUCH your child now. They feel they must remain cold and distant. They do not want to be accused of any sexual contact.

If your child so much as draws a picture or scene depicting guns or violence against another classmate, nt only will they be expelled, but they might face a meeting with the police!

It's crazy. The "laws" are not so rigid here, but the population seems to be getting collectively crazier each year. People are overreacting to pretty much everything.

Another trend that I have noticed: Kids are almost never allowed to walk to school in many neighborhoods. Their parents will not allow it. They fear child abductions. So each morning, you see a long line of cars dropping off their kids at school, creating traffic delays. When I was young, a kid was only driven to school if it was raining heavily (and the parent happened to be going that way). I remember owning all kinds of harsh-weather gear. Nowadays, in America, you can not even FIND a raincoat for a child in a store.

I have NO idea how things are in Europe. I hope it is not as bad as it seems to be in America. I really long for the way things were back in my childhood. I really do.
 

G,

Things happen in London too. You hear about a thirteen year old raping a six year old.

I see kids walking home from school, and I worry about them. It is not safe.

In the inner city schools, kids carry knives.Some Teachers have been stabbed.

It was not like this when I was at school, either.
 

It's supposed to be about respect. The problem is it has got too political. Children can't sing certain nursery rhymes anymore such as "baa baa black sheep". I think it's the world gone mad.

When I had my first child and he was a baby he got constipated. The health visitor told me to give him herbal water to drink. My next door neighbour who was much older advised me that when she had babies and they got this problem, they would put a blob of vaseline on their little finger and gently insert it into baby's bum and hey presto!.. a result and relief for crying infant who was clearly in discomfort.

Health visitor was in total shock when I asked her about that. She told me it was tantemount to abuse.

The things we can and cannot do are about invasion of personal space and respect. In that instance I kind of agreed with health visitor, but could not help the feeling of "it's ny child, I should be able to make the decision without being judged"

As far as the photo thing, I knew about this, and one can understand , but at the same time shake one's head in frustration.

Hope the baby story was not too excrutiating Nia!
 

Hi Blueslady,

I can see both sides to your story. It is so tricky.

The baby story was informative :)
 

Hugs are good.

Personal contact is good.

It's just that it can be misinterpreted.

As a senior manager I often met female staff who were upset about personal problems. It would have been natural to give them a hug. But as their manager ...

I think I did once with my secretary when she was distraut about a serious problem with her daughter.

But it is fraught with difficulties for men.

With children also. They need hugs even more than the rest of us. Most nursery/kindergarted teachers will hug children daily. But when the teacher is a man?

It is such a shame that we have become frightened of hugs in case they are misinterpreted or because we worry they may be something else. We are a poorer society because of it.
 

With respect to Beau. You are wrong about teachers of infants hugging them. They are not allowed to hug the children. It is not advisable for any teacher to have physical contact with any child of any age, unless administering first aid as it can be used against them so they have to protect themselves.

The children can hug the teacher though!