Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Powerless



Whenever I see an international number on my personal mobile or landline, I panic. I have family all over the world, and sometimes, the calls are informing me of deaths or emergencies.

I had a phone call from my mother's best friend half an hour ago.I am shaking as I write this, and am having to take breaks to do this post.

My mother had a car accident an hour ago, her car is a write-off. Fortunately, she is alive, and I have just spoken to her. It was challenging containing myself, while I spoke to her, as I did not want her to know I was crying.

I am left feeling fragile, sad, tearful and vulnerable. I cannot contemplate a life without my mother. It is hard being so far away, and yet anything can happen at anytime. I am aware I cannot control that.

I am grateful that she is alive, and I recognise that I am lucky to have her, as some of my friends have no parents alive. However, I wish this did not happen, and that nothing ever happens to her.

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Comments:
Thinking of you Nia and your mum.

Take care.

B xx
 
Thank you Beau. I appreciate that.
 
I think the gift in this is your appreciation of your love for each other...May I suggest that it might sooth you a great deal to do something sweet, sentimental and girlish in celebration of being a daughter...I once had a moment with my mother in law who was very dear to me. She's gone now, but in those moments after a near miss, I sent her a picture of my son on a swing and reminded her of the day we shared when he swung on the swings for the first time along...and I sent her another I had a stranger take of me on the swing set along with a card saying that I would have loved having her for a Mom and would have liked to have her push me on the swings for my first time too. We both felt better for the note. It was a moment that touched us both. Perhaps something like that would be an outlet for your emotions and make you feel closer to each other. I'm very glad that your mom is okay.
 
Greenwoman,

Thank you for stopping by,and for your suggestion.

I am grateful, for the relationship that I have with my mother.

I will follow your suggestion.

I struggle with the uncertainty in life, at times like this.
 
It's always hard knowing you may not be able to protect a loved one, particularly when they're far away.

Alas, uncertainty -- and, even worse, the knowledge that eventually we will lose those we love -- is our lot in life.

That pain and fear is the price we pay for the love. A very, very steep price it is. And worth it.

Best wishes to you and your mom.

Chevalier
 
Nia,

Thinking of you all the time

Jo x x
 
Perhaps to write a letter to your mum expresing all your thoughts and love would be helpful.

You don't even need to send it - though I'm sure she would be glad to receive it.

But I'm sure the writing of it would help.

B xx
 
Chevalier,

Thank you for your wishes. I feel so powerless, so far away. Everything you mention, I am experiencing.

Jo,

Thank you for your support.

Beau,

Thank you for the suggestion.
 
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