Nia Dark and Lovely, a Black Escort in London

10 things you should never say to a call girl

2010-04-17T10:26:00.001+01:00

Tracy Quan has come up with a useful list of ten things you should never say to a call girl.

I have been asked all of the questions, and here is my take on some of them.

10. When someone asks me what my real name is, like Tracy Quan- I think stalker, and they are nosy.

9. When I am asked how much I earn I think they are rude, a pimp, or an inspector.

8. Is my best friend a call girl- I think nosy.

7. I've never paid for sex- sometimes I believe this, and am aware that the person is feeling guilty. In other cases I think he wants me to think he is a good guy.

6. Do you hate men- I think they are trying to stereotype me.

5. Does your family know everything about you- again I think they are crossing the line.

4. Your'e very articulate-trying to stereotype, an expectation that I should be some gibbering airhead.

3. You don't look like a call girl- I am thinking because my dress sense doesn't scream hooker.

Clearly, there are questions that I am asked by some regular clients, that I have a different response to as a different relationship has developed.

It is not a case of being a hooker or not

2010-04-09T20:13:00.000+01:00

Today Tracy Quan explains what the half hooker economy is. The so called semi pros, versus the hard core, real hookers.

It feels like the whole naming and defining debate to me, all over again.

Sorry tales from guys hooked on hookers

2010-04-04T21:03:00.000+01:00

Just finished reading this article, about guys not getting hooked on hookers.

It reminded me of an old escort friend of mine . She met a client who asked her to leave the industry, and he paid her a huge chunk of cash every month. Set her up in a plush pad in a very expensive part of town, and paid all her other expenses. All that he asked, was that she was available when he was in town, which was only a few times a year.

Well, this wasn't enough for my escort girlfriend. She chose to carry on working, and he discovered her ad in a mag. He challenged her, but he chose to continue to support her, and did so, until she left the industry.Clearly, he was not short of cash, but he could have chosen to spend it elsewhere.

The guys in the article seem to have got a raw deal, and don't sound like happy bunnies.

Happy Mothers day

2010-03-14T01:24:00.000Z

Belle de Jour on sex education

2010-02-27T11:33:00.000Z

You can watch Belle de jour's views on sex education here.

More of the same why men use prostitutes

2010-01-16T13:35:00.000Z

I read this article on why men use prostitutes yesterday. I wonder what is new about any of the findings.

I can only speak about my own experience of clients, and what I have picked up from escort friends. Most of my clients don't tell me that they feel guilty,awful, dirty after a booking. There are a few who have talked about their guilt at length. Some will argue that I am not representative of most of the women in the industry.

What I found interesting in the article, is the man who said he would feel cheated, if he knew an escort was enjoying herself. The flip side of the men who say that escorts are too professional.

Or the men who want you to come.

The findings show that most of these men claim that they would stop visiting prostitutes if the new law was enforced, but believe there would be more rapes.

Happy Holidays

2009-12-24T08:59:00.000Z

Wishing you all a happy, peaceful, restful time. For those of you in the UK travelling to visit family and friends, have a safe journey, and hope you make it.

I am so looking forward to putting my feet up over the next few days.

This is old, but I love it British accents

2009-11-23T17:36:00.000Z

Anyone guess what accent I have?

Questions for Belle de Jour

2009-11-21T09:52:00.000Z

Q.You went to extraordinary lengths to stay anonymous; I understand that even your agent didn’t know your true identity. How did you manage that feat?

A.It turns out he did: I forgot that I had shown him an ID when we first met. He reminded me after the Times piece came out. I really believed Patrick didn’t know and therefore would have been incapable of outing me. In the end it turns out he was simply very trustworthy rather than actually kept in the dark. But for the most part, my accountant handled all the details. He set up the shell corporation which received payment for my writing, which then passed on the money to me as dividend payouts.

Q.On your blog recently, you considered whether men or women have it easier in life, and concluded that “if men had it easy, there wouldn’t be prostitutes.” Care to elaborate?

A.While there are many reasons why men go to prostitutes, I noticed a few trends that had to do with women. The inability to ask a partner for kinky sex, for instance, came up more than once. There were a couple of virgins as well, though that is less common now than it once was. And to some extent, my clients were men who were addicted to success. They knew I, as a call girl, would respond positively to their advances, whereas outside of the transaction a woman like me might not. After all, women are widely perceived as the gatekeepers to sex, so in theory they can have it as often as they like, and men do not get a say in that. It’s not universally true of course, but that is a dominant dynamic.

Q.What’s struck you about the controversy in the press that followed your revealing your identity?

A.There seems to be a lot of chatter in the U.K. papers surrounding me, about how my experience was a matter of class — though of course that isn’t strictly true. It can affect the level of agency one has. I suppose it does take a certain amount of awareness of value for someone, even in dire financial straits, to be able to say “I will have sex for £200, not £30.” That confidence can sometimes be more associated with social class, but I think it’s more to do either with education or self-esteem, which are not necessarily related. In any case, the capability either to believe you deserve to be valued more, or to imagine that, is required wherever it comes to payment. In a way I see it as being similar to the question of who believes they are candidates for university education and who does not, regardless of origin or native intelligence.

Q.How do you respond to critics who say your work sanitizes and normalizes prostitution, luring women into a career that is, in their view, inherently ruinous?

A.It’s a pity they think I’m the only one. If I had not written about the experience, I probably could have got away with never telling anyone, which would have been an attractive option — in fact, the one most women in the same situation make. I particularly like the word “luring.” It comes up a lot; must be the evocative, almost onomatopoetic cadence — it sounds so corrupt and oily. And it makes no sense that I would be luring people into this. Where is the advantage for me for even more people to be working as escorts? Shouldn’t I want all the quality clients to myself? They try to have it both ways: that I am an arch materialist only out for as much as I can get, and at the same time, that I am on a recruitment drive. It makes no sense really.

I have always tried to say on the blog and in interviews that prostitution is not a suitable career choice if you have doubts about your ability to handle it. Many women wrote to me asking advice and I tried to discourage most of them. You usually can tell even from an email who had their mind made up and who hasn’t.

Q.What’s a good predictor of being able to “handle it”?

A.Someone who asks about the specifics of the work, rather than how it feels or how I decided to do it. Someone whose requests show they’ve done research already, i.e. “I like Agency x and Agency y, which do you think would look after their girls better?” as opposed to “do you think I can do this without telling my boyfriend?”

Q.SuperFreakonomics profiles a woman, who goes by the name of Allie, a former computer programmer who turned to sex work and is now going back to school to study economics. Does the book’s description of her ring true to you?

A.Yes, very much so. At the time I was writing I was in contact with courtesans who were also blogging, such as Jet Set Lara. The difference between my earnings and theirs was great, but I was probably having more actual sex while they earned far more. It’s also covered in the TV series of my book, in fact –- Billie Piper’s Belle starts earning a lot more when she stops the by-the-hour work and goes independent, setting her rates higher and having fewer clients.

Q.What of the question in SuperFreakonomics, then — why don’t more women take to prostitution?

A.Sex with strangers squicks them out? I’ve noticed a tendency in some of my female friends to rationalize sex decisions they make — a hookup or one-night stand. If they had to do that several times a week, it would be tiring, if not emotionally devastating. Being able to divide sex-for-love and all-other-sex is not something especially usual.

Q.Is it especially strange seeing yourself portrayed on television, considering Piper’s Belle is a kind of double of a double of you?

A.Very. At first it was uncomfortable because the show is an adaptation of the book, so it diverges from me pretty widely — someone even started a Facebook group called “Belle de Jour knows what a palindrome is!” because the character didn’t. But because I was anonymous, I came to view it as an advantage: if people imagined Billie Piper was me, they would start looking for girls like that, rather than girls like me. It was an added measure of obfuscation I came to appreciate.

Q.You quit the escort business in 2004. What kind of work are you doing now?

A.I’m working on an E.U. project that is meant to be translating research into public policy. Specifically, we look at the evidence for pesticide exposures causing neurodevelopmental disorders. There are pesticides which are banned from indoor use in the U.S. for this reason, but they’re still legal in E.U. So my job entails collating that evidence into coherent documents that policymakers would find approachable.

Q.Has anything you learned as a call girl proven useful in your life as a scientist?

A.It taught me a lot about being able to talk to a variety of people with different backgrounds and relating to their points of view. Also the value of listening to them instead of rabbiting on about Fact This and Evidence That quite so much. Also, the power of being a decent-looking blond woman in the world. People may not take you seriously at first but they don’t resent your approach. Once the door is cracked open, it’s up to you to show your value as an intelligent person. Leveraging my sexuality to promote my work? You bet.

Q.Do you expect your outing as Belle de Jour will affect your scientific work?

A.I imagine people will know who I am now, and I’ll have to answer the same three questions over and over. But if I then get to shoehorn in something about the work I do, that’s a price I can put up with.

Q.You’ve written a couple of bestselling books. Which writers do you look up to?

A.I’d love to be a Simon Singh someday, but in terms of my current writing abilities that’s a long way off. It’s a goal though.

Q.So you have a popular science book in the pipeline?

A.Well, I can rabbit on endlessly about chemoinformatics and the problems thereof. Whether anyone would enjoy reading that, outside the small group of people who do it, is another question. But starting with the proposition that if we were to make one of every possible drug-sized molecule that could exist, they would more than fill the entire universe. I think that’s a compelling image and a good place to start when talking about the challenges of drug discovery.

Quotes from A Few Questions for Belle de Jour, Call Girl and Scientist
By RYAN HAGEN

Belle de Jour outs herself

2009-11-16T03:18:00.002Z

She had kept her identity secret for six years, defying millions of readers – and a host of literary experts – who had speculated about the author responsible for one of the internet's most widely read blogs.

But today the mystery was solved when a scientist from Bristol outed herself as Belle de Jour, the former escort behind the anonymous Diary of a London Call Girl.

Dr Brooke Magnanti kept quiet as a string of other writers were credited with her work, but after hearing she was about to be the subject of a Daily Mail exposé, the 34-year-old specialist in childhood cancer decided to reveal she was the real Belle, having worked as a prostitute to fund her PhD studies

Quotes from Belle de Jour revealed at last

This can put to rest all the rumours that Belle de Jour was a man, that Belle de Jour did not work in the industry at all.

I wonder whether she would have come out if the Mail were not going to expose her.

I had never imagined that she was a scientist. Interesting that the article states that loads of women who work in the industry are academics.

Update Related articles:Enough hand wringing on prostitution

Escorts and advertising

2009-10-19T00:30:00.003+01:00

Things have changed for escorts who paid for paper advertising. As far as I know some publications no longer take ads for escorts.

I have never seen cards in phoneboxes where I live. However I have seen them in Westminster.

Well, as I was heading to do my food shop today, I was walking down the high street looking at the posters on the street walls. Wondering what concerts were on, in the next few months.

For the first time ever, I saw a huge poster, and it was an escort agency advertising their girls.

I could not believe what I was seeing, blatant, on the high street.

If Boris Johnson is going to try and block all escort mobile phones for the Olympics; he needs to get his team to get those posters down.

Punternet, Harriet Harman and Arnold Scharwzenegger

2009-09-30T18:47:00.001+01:00

I was reading the paper on the way back from work, and came across an article that
Harriet Harman is urging Schwarzenegger to 'terminate' prostitute website.

The website is Punternet where escorts are listed on the database, and where you can find reviews.

The Labour deputy leader told delegates at the Labour conference: "There is now a website… where pimps put women on sale for sex and then men who've had sex with them put their comments online. It is PunterNet and fuels the demand for prostitutes."

Harman said the site was based in California but had "pages and pages" of women for sale in London.

"I've raised it with the US ambassador to London and I've called on California's governor, Arnie Schwarzenegger, to close it down."

Harman said it should not be difficult for the star to "terminate PunterNet".

"And I've got news for him: if he doesn't, I'll be back," she quipped

So G, watch out you could be terminated.

Update Galahad's open letter to Harriet Harman

Galahad's press release

Men who visit prostitutes and performance

2009-09-11T07:59:00.000+01:00

I just came across this article on sexual healing, by a man who is hooked on prostitutes.

What surprised me, was that he could not perform with his girlfriend. I wonder whether it is because he is used to different things from prostitutes, that she cannot provide.

I find it sad, and I guess that is why he has written to an agony aunt.

My understanding is that most of my clients can perform with their wives, it seems that they either want variety, or their wives are not up for it in the way that they are.

Ladies your phone may be cut off before the Olympics

2009-08-19T17:02:00.000+01:00

It seems that if you are a London escort and advertise on calling cards in phone boxes, your phone may be cut off before the Olympics.

I read the article and wondered whether the mobile phone networks are able to access every escort in the UK who has a mobile phone.

We shall see.

Fun and games in 2012, for those escorts who will still be on the scene then.

Dress code

2009-07-31T19:22:00.001+01:00

I was on my way to meet some friends yesterday evening. I saw this woman walk by, outside the Royal Garden Hotel.

She looked like she was wearing a black tshirt that was barely covering her ass, black patterned tights,and killer heels. The first thing that I saw as she walked past were her boobs. I took one look at her and thought she is an escort.

She had no care in the world. Walked into the hotel lobby, and all heads were turned. Porters were giggling, reception staff smirking. I wondered how she had the guts to leave her house looking the way she did.

Occasionally a client will request that I wear the shortest skirt or dress possible for a meeting. My response is always find someone else, I will not walk into a hotel dressed like that. Behind closed doors is another story.

It reminds me of the time I went to see Sarah Summers in Leeds. On my last night in Leeds Sarah came to have dinner at my hotel, and claimed most of the women in the restaurant were escorts. I couldn't figure out why.

Old flame

2009-07-19T19:19:00.000+01:00

I am sorry that I haven't blogged for a while, but I am so knackered after work, all I want to do is sleep.

A few weeks ago on my way back from work, I bumped into my ex boyfriend's best mate. I broke up with E ten years ago. Anyway T, told me that E mentioned me the day before. I haven't seen E in ten years. Anyway, E told T that if he won the lottery, there are two people that he would look after for life, and I happened to be one of them. E said that myself, and another woman are the only genuine women he has dated in his life. E is a player,and has loads of women, and that is the reason that I left him.

T made me promise to call E that night, and I did. He was pleased to hear from me, and insisted on taking me out to dinner on Thursday. It was great to catch up with him, and I am sorry that I haven't kept in touch with him. There are some people that you can carry on with, where you left off, and E is one of them.

With all his flaws, he was there when I needed him. We went through some tough times together, and I shall never forget his support. His mum died in the time that I lost touch with him,and he doesn't seem the same,as he was her favourite. I wish I could have been there for him.

Hope all of you are well.

This is the sort of client that all escorts dread

2009-05-31T17:02:00.000+01:00

A Man who hired an escort to help him celebrate his birthday held a gun to her head and waved a Samurai sword at her a court heard.

In these situations you cannot take risks,the man was acting strangely. Thankfully it was taken to court.

I no longer do outcalls to homes, unless you are a regular.

I am aware this sort of thing could happen in a hotel, but there are more people around in hotels.

I had a friend whose client tried to strangle her in a well known hotel in the West end, the chambermaid heard her scream, and she was saved.

Catching up

2009-05-17T21:03:00.000+01:00

I am so sorry I haven't blogged in ages. Life has taken over, and I don't have the time to blog in the way that I used to.

My new job is really demanding. I have just come back from a two day conference in Manchester. A number of friends have come to London, and stayed with me. So, I have played tour guide, a number of times which I hate.

Thanks for all your emails saying how much you miss my blog posts.

I haven't read any of the message boards, or other industry blogs for ages, and it has felt great. I have a lot of catching up to do, clearing my inbox is a task in itself.

I still escort,but am very part time. It is a case of synchronising diaries with clients.

So A, I will see you when I see you ,don't worry.

What goes around comes around

2009-04-06T16:30:00.002+01:00

I went into work this morning, and during my lunch break one of my colleagues told me that the cow had left.

She became very unpopular, and left last week. I still have not found out whether she was sacked.

Well, well, well.

Internet and phone privacy to end in Britain on Monday

2009-04-04T17:10:00.001+01:00

Emails, web visits, and mobile phone calls for every person in Britain, will be monitored and stored for a year from Monday.

This Black London escort will go back to snail mail now, and the contents of my emails will change dramatically. I think internet cafes will have an increase in business from Monday. From now on anything private will have to be discussed face to face, with family, friends and clients.

I wonder whether this new law will transform the way some clients communicate with escorts via email or phone?

These are changing times.

Internet dating sites

2009-03-30T18:16:00.001+01:00

I have a number of single friends who are not escorts, who are members of online dating sites. I don't have the guts to join one of these sites. I am pretty old school, and would rather meet someone the old way.

Yet, I have the guts to put up a professional escort site, and meet total strangers and .....

It just doesn't make sense, but I don't see it as the same thing.

*watches a number of readers scratch their heads*

I saw this site in a mag the other day, and could not believe my eyes. A different type of dating site, for people who want to have affairs.

Most of my clients say that it is easier to see an escort than have an affair. I am led to believe that is true for most men who see escorts.

Don't forget to switch your lights off

2009-03-28T17:47:00.001Z

for earth hour tonight at 8.30pm.

Do your bit to save our planet.

Open university skills classes for escorts and sexworkers

2009-03-28T09:42:00.001Z

A male escort has organised skills classes for escorts, which will be held in London next month. Sex workers from all over Europe are invited to the event.

I wonder what the attendance will be like, it sounds like a good idea.

Uproar in Switzerland over prostitute's burial

2009-03-10T08:28:00.000Z

Some women in Switzerland have criticised a well known prostitute being buried close to John Calvin.

"If every woman that had children to raise alone turned to prostitution, the city of Geneva would be a bordello," said Amelia Christinat, a feminist and former member of the Swiss parliament who opposed Real's reburial.

Jacqueline Berenstein-Wavre, the first woman to head Geneva's parliament, also objected.

"No woman should rejoice at this transfer, which is nothing but the elevation of a prostitute and of prostitution in general by its male protectors," she told the daily Tribune de Geneve, which noted the scarcity of women buried in the honored ground, less than a quarter of the 350 graves.

I was not aware that discrimination existed in cemetries, but maybe someone can tell me otherwise.

Nia dark and Lovely people watching in London today

2009-03-05T18:58:00.004Z

I was heading home from work this afternoon,as civvie Nia, not Black London escort Nia. On my way there, I walked passed the Lanesborough hotel, and noticed the paparazzi. I was curious, so asked some of them, who they were waiting for.

They were waiting for Wacko Jacko I have just looked at the urban dictionary definition and it is not quite what I expected.

I have a few of Michael's albums, Off the Wall, Thriller, and Bad. I have never felt that I wanted to go and see him in concert. So, I don't really feel I am one of his fans.

That said, I waited outside the hotel with the Paparazzi and his fans to see if I could get a glimpse of him. It gave me some insight into what the paparazzi and his fans experience. I had a number of conversations with some of the paparazzi. Within half an hour of me standing on a plant pot(it took my weight) at the Lanesborough, he came out. The commotion that took place was unbelievable. The paparazzi are like a bunch of vultures.

I can't remember what happened, whether the minibus that Michael and his entourage were taking to the 02 arena, had the back door open; or whether the paparazzi opened it. Anyway, the door was open, and the paparazzi, were flashing their cameras like there was no tomorrow. The security could not do much for a while, it was amusing to watch.

I must say that all the security were proper hunks with lots and lots of muscle. All men in Black not wearing Armani suits.

I felt sorry for the fans, as the paparazzi got in their way, and some of them didn't get any photos. Poor things had been at the hotel all day waiting.

Something that I have been aware of for many years, is that total strangers, are able to give me confidential information, without me having to ask any questions. Someone in the know,who I had noticed when all the commotion was going on, gave me the lowdown on what happened behind closed doors. I am not easily shocked, but she shocked me.

Never again

2009-03-04T18:13:00.000Z

I will never have to set my eyes on mad boss again. Today was my last day. She stayed behind to say goodbye. The woman is something else, she told me that I was one of the nicest people that she had ever met in her life. I had to restrain myself for a minute. All that she put me through, she clearly lives on another planet.

I was overwhelmed by the feedback,and gifts I received from the team.Two colleagues baked cakes, and biscuits. It was so sweet. You all know how I love my food.

Since I started at the new job, I have let go of various pieces of work. There are not enough hours in the day, and I found myself shattered at the end of the week. I recognise I am fortunate during these hard times, but if I had carried on with everything, I would become ill.

It has been an experience with that nutter, but I have met some good people within that organisation.

Erotic review owner playing dirty

2009-02-18T17:12:00.001Z

What is the world coming to.

The owner of the Erotic review site, has been arrested on murder conspiracy charges.

An adult model sued him, and he tried to have her bumped off. This guy also forced an escort to perform oral sex at gunpoint, at some stage.

The lengths that some people will go to.

Well, it seems the long arm of justice has caught up with him.

Sometimes escorts need to think very carefully, about which sites, they advertise on. Some of these site owners are bonkers, and have no morals.

Decide how much you want to pay

2009-02-03T21:37:00.001Z

I like this restaurant in Farringdon's concept of leaving it to diners to decide how much they want to pay.

I am not sure how much I would pay though, and actually prefer to be given a price, for fear of paying too little.

I think it could be open to abuse, though.

I wonder whether any London escort will go down this route?

It is bad enough having to deal with all the hagglers and men who quibble about prices, in the escort industry. Something that I had to deal with when I first started escorting.

I can see it now, an escort who is offering all services ie no holes barred, and lets the client decide how much he wants to pay. The client walks away without paying a penny.

Some escorts are willing to try anything to get more business, good luck to them.

I will go to this restaurant in Farringdon, and give you feedback on my meal.

Snowed in

2009-02-02T09:47:00.001Z

I woke up this morning thinking that I could get to work. I have just come back from the tube station, and no lines are running. I have just called my boss, and she was amazed that I tried to get to work. She laughed at me, and said that I should not have bothered. Well, as it is not the first time it has snowed in London, I imagined public transport would be working.

Wouldn't you?

I wonder what the gritters were doing last night, as they clearly have not been out where I live.

Apparently if the weather is the same tomorrow, no work for me.My boss has told me she does not expect me at work tomorrow either. So, today and tomorrow will be DVD days.

I just wish I had not got up so early today.

Stay tucked in.

Change has come

2009-01-21T01:02:00.000Z

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

What a wonderful day.

The numbers on prostitution and sex in the UK don't add up

2009-01-10T21:18:00.000Z

Tim Harford has an interesting analysis, on the BBC radio four programme, on Mathematics, the numbers that have been released on prostitution in the UK are not clear.

The radio programme is only available for a few more days, so listen to it while it is on air.

Some of the numbers are

80% of Prostitutes, escorts are controlled. This is a figure Fiona Mctaggart has come up with.

Julia O 'Connell Davidson challenges this view as she says that 80% of the sexworkers who were described by receptionists in flats, brothels or agencies were described as foreign.Does this mean that they are controlled?

In 2006, 515 raids were carried out on brothels over 4 months in Operation Pentameter. There were 232 arrests and 84 women were rescued.

There were 822 raids in Operation Pentameter two, and 167 women were identified. The raids suggest that less than 80% of the women were trafficked.

There are supposed to be 80,000 prostitutes/escorts working in the UK. These numbers are based on research that was done ten years ago.

There are supposed to be 25,000 sex slaves in the UK.

70% of London's off street prostitutes/escorts are foreign nationals.

Do politicians and academics choose their data to support their stance?

More bunnies sign up at the ranch during the credit crunch

2009-01-06T01:29:00.001Z

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Airforce Amy says she is seeing a different type of woman joining,different from the streetworkers who signed up back in the day.

Kristin Davis Spitzer Madam talks about what she would charge for celebrities

2009-01-04T15:21:00.002Z

Kirstin Davis, the Eliot Spitzer Madam, gives the low down on how she would market a number of celebrities, if they were escorts.

She wouldn't have a market for Sarah Palin. She wouldn't work with many Playboy Playmates as their boobs are too big, and fake looking. I thought boobs could never be big enough in this industry. Rihanna couldn't work for her,as Black and Asian American escorts do not do well. I guess that would apply to Beyonce,too. Her clientele do not like Eastern European or Jewish women, so she would market Melanie Trump as another nationality.

Well, she knows her market.

No more buying sex for Norweigan men

2009-01-02T17:39:00.001Z

Norway has introduced a new law that will make it illegal to purchase sex. They are threatening to prosecute Norweigan men who buy sex abroad.

It makes no difference if she is an escort,streetworker or courtesan. They all sell, say it after me ...

I wonder how and where the Norweigan government will get the resources, to pursue their male citizens who are buying sex abroad.

These are changing times.

Reflecting on the Highs and Lows of 2008

2008-12-31T18:44:00.000Z

Another year has flown by.

The Highs

1. Watching President elect Barak Obama's acceptance speech, this is something I will never, ever, forget

I am still on a high, and will be for a long long time. Getting ready to party on January 20th.

2. Getting my new job, which I am enjoying at the moment.

The lows

1. Reading about Deborah Palfrey hanging herself.

2. The loss of my friend P, he would have been proud of the send off we gave him, where over 300 people showed up for a celebration of his life. We partied, and drank to him. May your soul rest in peace P.

3. The stresses at work this year have been challenging.

4. Sad stories that I have read in the news this year that have alarmed me like
the Baby P story.

5. Or what this man did to his daughter, over 24 years unbelievable.

6. Israel continuing to bombard the Gaza strip.

Wishing you all good things for 2009. Thank you for reading.

Happy Holidays

2008-12-23T10:16:00.000Z

Wishing all my readers a Happy holidays and peace, health and happiness for the New year.

Blessings to all those you hold dear.

Nia dark and lovely as the new girl

2008-12-14T18:47:00.000Z

This is my second week at my new job, and I started by hitting the ground running.

On my first day, my boss took me round to meet other staff that I would come into contact with. I met over forty people, and it felt overwhelming, and everything seemed like such a blur at the end of the day. God knows how I am going to remember all their names. The next few days consisted of attending, meeting after meeting. One thing that I dislike about my job, is the number of meetings I have to attend on a regular basis, where most of my colleagues have huge egos, and spend their time trying to throw their weight around. One of the meetings got so heated, everyone was talking over each other, the Chair was shouting to get everyone in order. It was amusing, but draining, as the meeting was for two hours.

My boss seems okay, but who knows she may change like mad boss. I am used to working in large teams, but right now the team consists of my boss and I, which concerns me. If and when I fall out with her, I have noone to go to for support. The good thing about my job, is I only see her once a week.

I am still adjusting to getting up at six am every morning, and being at my desk at eight, while most of you are still in bed.

I still have my other job, which I am juggling at the moment, hoping to get my redundancy.

What this means is I have less time for escorting, which is now limited to evenings and weekends.

No rest for the wicked.

In this current financial climate, I am grateful that I have a job, and someone wants to employ me.

Keep on walking if a prostitute drops a wad of money on the street

2008-11-29T23:59:00.000Z

Or else you could end up like these guys.

Ashley Dupre interview with Diane Sawyer

2008-11-23T16:48:00.000Z

This scandal with Eliot Spitzer could not have been easy for Ashley Dupre. I am struck by how young Ashley Dupre is, twenty two years old.

I can see that Diane Sawyer is struggling to understand how and why Ashley Dupre became an escort. This is a line that some women will never cross.

I think that there are some women who start off by saying that, but life being what it is, some women find themselves making choices they never believed they could.

Who would have imagined a governor who was also a prosecutor, would use an escort service, in a state where prostituion is illegal?

Discussing the advantages and disadvantages of the clampdown on Prostitution in the UK

2008-11-19T11:49:00.001Z

Niki Adams from the English collective of Prostitutes, and Jacqui Smith discuss this issue on the Radio 4 today programme.

Some important points that I am holding onto from that interview are :

Control for somebody else's gain is a wide term, and could include a maid, or a prostitute's boyfriend.

The controlling legislation does not require force or coercion, but simply money changing hands.

The onus is on the client to ascertain whether a prostitute is being controlled by a pimp, trafficker, or drug dealer, ignorance is no defence.

So part of the client's role is to enforce the law.

I wonder how clients will determine what a prostitute's circumstances are. There are cases where a prostitute says she is not trafficked, but she is, and the client will be prosecuted

Well, I don't have a pimp, I don't do drugs, and I do not have a boyfriend. I have worked as an independent since I started escorting, and will do so until I retire.

Ask the girls themselves your thoughts on prostitution

2008-11-18T18:52:00.001Z

I have just had an email from Chris Vallance a journalist who works for BBC Radio four.

He is aware that I don't like talking to journalists, however if any of you would like to, please feel free to comment on his blog post

Ask the working girls themselves

Crackdown on Paying for sex

2008-11-16T17:03:00.000Z

Jacqui Smith said she expected to see some lapdancing clubs, which have mushroomed in recent years, close and fewer new ones opened under reforms triggered by concerns over a seedy culture of sexual titillation creeping across city centres. She will outline plans this week to criminalise paying for sex with a woman 'controlled for another person's gain'. The new offence will carry a hefty fine and criminal record, which could prevent those caught from getting jobs in sensitive occupations.

The legislation will cover women who have pimps or drug addicts who work to pay off their dealers as well as the rarer cases of trafficked women. This is expected to include the majority of Britain's 80,000 sex workers. Ignorance of a woman's circumstances will not be a defence. Kerb crawlers will be 'named and shamed', while those who pay a prostitute knowing she has been forcibly trafficked could face rape charges.

The measures are highly controversial, with critics arguing that men will seek other outlets if prostitution is driven off the streets. Smith said it was 'not mine or the government's responsibility to ensure that the demand is satisfied', adding: 'Is this something about which people have a choice with respect to their demands? Yes, they do. Basically, if it means fewer people are able to go out and pay for sex I think that would be a good thing.'

Quotes from Paying for sex to be Criminal offence

My understanding of this is that all brothels,parlours, massage parlours, and escort agencies will have to shut down.

The business of high end prostitution

2008-11-14T22:27:00.005Z

The fate of Oriental Gems

2008-11-14T09:18:00.001Z

Oriental Gems was one of the leading Asian escort agencies in London. The agency was shut down earlier this year.

The owners who ran it for five years, have been jailed for trafficking.

I wonder what has happened to all the women who were working there.

The political economy of the global sex trade

2008-11-13T02:41:00.000Z

Sheila Jeffreys has a new book out, that talks about how profitable the sex trade is.

She believes prostitution is a harmful cultural practice, on a par with female genital mutilation.

Now, now Ms Jeffreys, that is one hell of a comparison. There is absolutely no way I would be working if I felt what I was doing was on a par with female genital mutilation.

She also points out in the Guardian article that women rarely make money from prostitution.

Well, all the women I know who are in the industry are making money. I have met some women who started off working in flats, and they were not complaining. Okay, I acknowledge that most of the women I know, would be considered not representative of the industry as a whole. They are escorts who charge high rates, but as far as I know most women in the industry make money.

Email access

2008-11-08T09:30:00.000Z

I have just discovered that Yahoo is down temporarily, for maintenance work. So, I cannot access my emails.

I am not ignoring anyone, and will be in touch once I can access my mail.

The spirit of the man, yes we can!

2008-11-05T05:53:00.001Z

I have just watched the brilliant election coverage on BBC news with David Dimbleby.

I never believed that I would ever see a Black president of America in my lifetime.

I was fearful that there would be vote rigging, and foul play, but my trust has been restored.

I am so emotional. The impact that this will have on the psyche of some Black people who have no role models is amazing. I think the impact that it will have on Black people in general will be powerful.

I am so inspired, and astonished, by the way Barack Obama was able to mobilise the people.His consistency and discipline throughout his campaign was phenomenal.

This is such a historic moment, and I thank Barack Obama for renewing my hope, and the hope of lots of other people.

I wish his grandmother, mother,father and Martin Luther King Jr were alive to witness this historical moment.

It is a new day , and thank you for making that change.

Big thanks to everyone who voted Democrat.

God Bless you Barack Obama, and God Bless America.

I have two hours sleep before I head off to my meeting, that is if I wake up. My phone is now off, as the international phone calls are streaming in.

Patiently waiting for change

2008-11-04T18:38:00.000Z

I am caught up in Obama mania at the moment, and nothing else matters.

Hoping and praying that Obama wins this election.

This week, I have had conversations,debates with total strangers on the tube, on the street, in the shops, about change in the US.

I am blogging from a coffee bar at the moment, and am caught in a debate before I head to work.

I am going to be up all night waiting for history to be made tomorrow. Anxious and excited.

I wonder how I am going to make my business meeting on Wednesday morning.

My family have voted, and my relatives all over the world will be up all night, until the results come through.

Hoping and praying that a change will come.

Winks to Beau and Dragonfly.

Nia dark and lovely two year blogging anniversary

2008-10-29T07:44:00.000Z

It is two years since I started blogging today. I don't blog as much as I did when I started,as I do not have as much time to read other blogs, as I used to. Some of you have emailed and expressed your disappointment around this, but life has taken over, and I am doing what I can
Most of my inspiration comes from other blogs, and news on the internet.

I have several new returning visitors, who have signed up for my blog via email.

I have 323 posts, and 1724 comments to date.

The majority of my readers are from the UK, followed by the USA, Canada, Italy and France.

There have been 250,000 unique visits to my blog to date.

Thank you ,to all the bloggers who have linked to my blog posts, and blog in the two years.

Thank you all for reading.

Is sex with a prostitute cheaper than going on a date

2008-10-24T14:04:00.001+01:00

Evan Maloney adds to the debate that sex with a prostitute may be cheaper than going on a date.

What I found interesting in the responses to the sex-versus-prostitute debate was that men assumed that women always wanted more than just sex from a date. Or, paradoxically, men assumed that dating ends in marriage (which suggests women are more successful in getting what they want from the dating game than men) and divorce (which suggests women don’t, in fact, know what they really want).
So you tell me, don’t women just want to enjoy some wild sex sometimes without wanting anything more from a man? Do men really think women always have their eye on the mating prize?

Evan Maloney raises an interesting point, that some men have difficulty knowing that they are used by some women just for sex.

Casual sex is okay for me as a hooker, but when I am not hooking it isn't.

I am allowed to be inconsistent.

What sort of men visit escorts?

2008-10-20T01:19:00.000+01:00

I was challenged by Beau last year in my too close for comfort post, when I stated that I didn't think that men who worked in my profession visited escorts or prostitutes.

His response to me was:

What kind of men did you once think were typical clients Nia?

Was it just this client who changed your mind?

What kind of men do you now think are typical clients?

What has this done to change your opinion of men?

I assume for the worst?

Though it is okay for a woman in the same profession to be an escort?

I'm genuinely not having a go - just trying to follow the thoughts ....Is it a sociological view you had?

It just gets close to a moral view - that it is only a certain kind of man who buys sex, which is so close to the view that only a certain kind of woman sells sex.

Beau has a point.

Do I think there is a type of man who visits escorts?

Well, no is the short answer. I thought at one time, that some men who worked in certain professions would not, but I have been proved wrong, with some of these men crossing my front doorstep.

When I started escorting, I assumed men who visited escorts were all sad and lonely. That is not the case, in my experience.

Louis Bernieres has an interesting article, which I came across called I am not the man who visits prostitutes.

He mentions a man who is disgusted by a bin full of milky condoms, when he went to see a prostitute, and has never visited a prostitute since. This issue is raised by some punters on messageboards and in reviews.

I can understand how a client may feel about this, and yet I am fascinated by other clients who go to brothels or parlours, and sit in waiting rooms with other men, waiting to see a girl. I am also fascinated by the men who before all the STD scares, wanted to visit women who had not washed in between clients, and who used to offer bareback.

The husband's description in the article of his wife is very depressing. I can understand why he would want to visit a prostitute, based on his description of his wife. However it would have been useful to hear her description of her marriage.

The Credit crunch and its effects on the escort industry

2008-10-18T08:58:00.001+01:00

Most of the articles that I have read since the start of the credit crunch on the escort industry, say that it has not been affected by the financial markets.Joan Wypijewski has an interesting article that has another perspective, on the sex economy going limp.

She talks about gauging the stock market by the Girlfriend and High end stripper Index, before the crunch.

She also points out how escort rates have been moving like the dow ticker. I have noticed that some escorts have dropped their rates in the past thirty days. Some have started to offer half hour appointments.

This Black London escort will not drop her rates.

Some escorts are like therapists, and how many men will give up the escort budget?

Will High end wives, girlfriends and escorts have to provide more for less in this climate?

Or are we all screwed?

Newspapers,reporters,escorts and articles

2008-10-16T12:59:00.000+01:00

I have been approached over the years by journalists who are writing articles about the escort industry, in the daily papers. I have always turned them down, as I don't trust the press. I think about the numbers of escorts who are outed or misrepresented by the press, and I feel I don't want to be a part of that. This is not always the case, some good stuff has been reported, but the bad stuff outweighs the good stuff in my opinion.

Today I received a call from one of the major UK men's magazines, who wanted to feature my blog.

I turned them down. Had I been an anonymous escort blogger, I may have considered their request. This is what you need to do to remain anonymous.

Some of my colleagues, and friends read this magazine. I have visions of my whole network finding out about me, if my blog was featured in this magazine. It would be too close for comfort.

So it does not appeal. I am certain that there are other UK escorts that crave this level of exposure. Good luck to them.

RIP T

2008-10-15T15:39:00.001+01:00

I have just received news that my friend's son was murdered yesterday. He was shot, as his girlfriend was cheating on him, with someone else. His mother passed out when she received the news.

When is this gun crime going to stop????

I feel for you J, and my prayers go out to you.

I can only imagine what it is like for a parent to lose their child.

Whoremiles for Dutch sexworkers

2008-10-08T12:14:00.002+01:00

Prostitutes in the Dutch city of Eindhoven are to be awarded "credits" in return for good behaviour under a new scheme to encourage them to leave the industry.

Messageboards,punters,escorts and pot shots

2008-10-07T01:43:00.003+01:00

I went away for a few days, as you know. I got a call from a friend this afternoon alerting me to a nasty post on Punternet about me.

Some individual who calls him or herself Rockenroll, and claims to have seen me in 2005, had this to say

The pictures are fake (and not even of the same person). She is a nice person and gives a good service, but is a long way from the pictures.

I don't know who this individual is. I have worked as an escort since 2005, and have an internet presence. I am aware that anyone who has a presence on the internet, can expect someone to say something about them, at some point.

This person needs to get his or her facts straight. I have several reviews on Punternet by multiple reviewers, who are respected.

Surely if I was using fake pictures, they would have pointed this out, right?

It would be really useful for me to know whose photos RockenRoll believes I am using. I posess the CDs and prints for all my photoshoots, and do not have a twin.

I have shared my views on messageboard dynamics, and the things that some individuals will do. As I said before, some of these people have deep rooted issues, and by attacking others, they get some sense of gratification and recognition.My view is that some members of these boards have a strong need to control and dominate, and bring their unresolved issues of omnipotence, onto messageboards, and start acting out.

I no longer read messageboards regularly ,as I am bored with the content. I do not have the time or energy to engage with individuals who suffer from delusions of grandeur.

As Peridot Ash points out, there will always be people on messageboards who will flame escorts.

Escorts have to be careful what they say, or they attract the wrong types. It only takes one totally insecure, fucked-up prick out there, name and location unknown to the “community,” who would love to teach an uppity bitch whore who says something he doesn’t agree with on a message board a nice little lesson in person. And she’d never know if it was jerkoff69 or Schlongbooger or DaddyButtFuck or whoever from the message board.

An escort friend who had a high profile, and has retired this year, had a false review written about her. She could not figure out who had written the review, and years after the review was posted, it became clear that the reviewer was another escort. Yes, another escort, who was a close friend of hers. The site owner removed the review.This is a cut throat business.

Rockenroll could be another escort, for all I know.

As Jenny de Milo points out Selling your sisters out = bad. Times are tough for some escorts out there, the credit crunch has hit them hard, and some escorts feel that there is not enough room for everyone to eat. This is the nature of the industry, and some escorts will hit out at others, who they believe are threatening their business. Or they get their pimps to do it for them.

This can be a very dangerous business and there are very angry men who have very serious issues with women who gravitate towards it.

Okay, so this guy or girl says that I have fake photos.

How have I survived in this business with fake photos for four years?

I have some clients and regulars who have found me via Punternet, but that is not where I get the bulk of my work from.

This guy or girl, wrote me a mediocre review a number of years ago in 2005, and strangely enough I got a lot of work on the back of that review. Some clients chose to come and see me out of idle curiousity,some thought the review was bollocks, and others liked my rebuttal.

The reality is that most clients do not read messageboards or reviews, so as an escort do not despair. It is hard for newbies to take this on board, but in time you will realise, that work comes in from various sources, and most people who will book you, make up their own minds.

There will always be sad bastards out there, but there are good guys too.

Nia dark and Lovely away

2008-10-02T18:33:00.002+01:00

I will be away from Friday 3rd October 2008 to Sunday 5th October. I will not have internet access while I am away. You will be able to get in touch with me from Monday 6th October.

Have a great weekend.

You don't know until you try

2008-09-20T20:13:00.003+01:00

William Halby lost his bid to claim escorts as a reasonable medical expense to fight depression, on his taxes.

I wonder if he had read about Tas Sinadinos last year.

Getting rid of the clutter in my life

2008-09-11T23:41:00.003+01:00

Sometimes I find myself in situations or relationships that are stressful or toxic. A friend sent me this link on the eight irresistible principles of fun.

I think it is easy to forget what my priorities are in life, when I am in difficult situations.

One thing that I am learning to do well these days , is letting go of all the crap in my life, and doing stuff and being around people that really matter.

Monday morning meeting

2008-09-08T18:31:00.001+01:00

I had the meeting with the cow today. My colleague and I had prepared a report for her. Fortunately, my colleague and boss sat in on the meeting. The cow's manner had not changed since I met her in July. She started firing questions again, as soon as she sat down. We gave her our report, and lots of other documents to support the report.

I wonder whether she will take the time to read them.

She kept on repeating certain phrases and words

what is the demand

value for money

we are a business

adjust

value added

sea change

It was clear at the end of the meeting, that she had no intention to listen to what anyone had to say. Although myself and the others responded, as soon as she paused to breathe. My boss told her to back down, and to listen otherwise there was no point, and she went bright red, then paid no notice.

I kept on looking at my boss and colleague, to see what their reactions to her were, and the cow definitely put their backs up.

She has set another meeting for next week Monday, which I am dreading.

After she left the meeting, my colleague came into my office and said that she was a bully, and that she had a headache. My boss came into my office five minutes later, asking me how I felt about the meeting, and I told her that the cow had no communication skills. My boss felt the same way, and told me that a number of people had resigned in the last few months, as they could not work with the cow.

We all had headaches by lunchtime, and have to deal with her again next Monday.

I wonder how the cow managed to get to where she is with her attitude. It is amazing, as I was aware that as soon as she started talking, I went into fight mode.

I am still hanging on, as I want that redundancy package.

Judge Tills is judged for recruting prostitutes

2008-09-06T18:26:00.001+01:00

Ronald H. Tills had the reputation as one of the toughest sentencing judges in Western New York during his 10 years as a State Supreme Court judge.

An embarrassed-looking Tills, 73, admitted Thursday that he recruited prostitutes for events sponsored by a nationwide fraternal men’s club called the Royal Order of Jesters.

He is no different to Richard Seigler pimping, or David Vitter.

I wonder how many prostitutes Ronald Tills sentenced when he was a judge. They must be laughing their asses off now.

Who would have thought this judge could do this?

Covering your tracks or not

2008-09-05T02:22:00.002+01:00

I met someone this week , who is going through a divorce. She has been married for ten years, and just discovered her husband was having an affair. Her husband moved his mistress into one of their properties, while they were married. She didn't see it coming, as he seems to have covered his tracks. She found out about his infidelity via a friend.Unbelievable.

I wonder what type of human being can move their mistress, into one of their homes, while he is still married. I thought I had seen and heard it all, but this is so below the belt, I am speechless.

Maybe some of you out there can help me understand this man?

What does it take to show respect to your wife, and call it a day, without moving your mistress in. It turns out that he had a string of women throughout his marriage.

So, the divorce proceedings are on, which he is trying to mess up. She has a fortune, that he wants a part of. The man(b******) has no limits.

I continue to read what is going on with Sarah Summers, and one of her ex clients. Her client's wife has posted some comments in this post. One of the comments is that Sarah encourages married men to come to see her, and I guess this extends to all escorts.

I disagree, married men choose to come and see us, they know what they are doing. I don't advertise, and say that I only want to see married men. Whether they are married or not, is irrelevant to me. I do my job,they pay me for my time, end of story. If they choose to see me again, that is up to them.

It is a fact that about eighty per cent of my clients are married. I imagine it is the same for most escorts. I think it says a lot about their marriages, and needs.

I can understand why a wife would be upset, but to blame the escort totally, is a cop out. It fails to look at her husband's responsibility. I am not about to ask a client whether his wife has approved that he is seeing me. I live in the real world, and want to get paid. I also do not see myself as someone who is destroying marriages either, in fact I think escorts can have the opposite effect.

If a client does not cover his tracks, that is his funeral.

Escorts who take breaks

2008-09-01T22:45:00.003+01:00

It is not unusual for escorts to take breaks, to maintain their sanity. As service providers some escorts give so much of themselves they need to recharge their batteries to enable them to maintain their high standards of service.

Sarah Summers has a no nonsense post on why she is taking a break, and gives some insight into the challenges of being an escort.

Amber who has left escorting has a good post on how most escorts she knows started escorting because of the money.

Nia dark and Lovely feeling up today

2008-08-28T23:45:00.000+01:00

You all know about my hard times at work. Well, I have been applying for jobs, and went for an interview last week.

I have a mega problem with nerves at interviews, and start shaking, and twitching. It is incredible. The last interview I went to, I was penalised because of my nervousness. They could not understand how someone with my level of experience could be so nervous. I don't drink or do drugs, so can't take something to calm me down, beforehand.

What is strange, is when I was younger I took the lead in plays, and sang in clubs, and was not nervous then.

Anyway, I went for this interview last week, and part of the interview was a written test. I could do it on the computer or write it manually. I was given a nightmare scenario, and then asked to respond to it. I said that I would respond to it on the computer. As soon as I put my fingers on the keyboard, my hands started shaking like I had Parkinsons disease. The woman who had taken me into the room was so startled, she put her hand on my shoulder. I was so embarassed. I told her I would write my response manually, and as she left I calmed down. I had twenty minutes in which to do it, and completed the task in a quarter of the time.

I was then whisked away to another building for the panel interview. The chair of the panel was friendly, and joked with me. My nerves disappeared, which is a first for me. I got a good vibe from the rest of the panel. I felt I could answer all the questions fully. I was aware that when I told one of the panel about my work, that she was holding back the tears. I work at the high end in my industry.

I walked away pleased with my performance, even if I was not offered the job.

I was offered the job today. They said they were very impressed with my performance. I can vary the start date, as I want to get my fat ass onto some sandy beach with palm trees, and white sands before the end of the year. They were okay with this, and said that I was such a good candidate, I could choose whenever I wanted to start, as they were willing to wait. It has done wonders for my self esteem. I will still be working within my field, but in a new area. It will look great on my CV.

What this means is that I will have less time for escorting. My availability will be evenings and weekends, no more weekday appointments, when I start. The exception will be regulars who book in advance for overdays or overnights, in which case I will skive .

My plan is to keep my other job, as I can combine the two. The reason why I am hanging onto the other job, is that I am hoping for a redundancy package.

Big thanks to Mr Quality/performance management for the pep talk before my interview. You know who you are.

Escorts and Outcalls

2008-08-25T12:01:00.000+01:00

I have just read Sarah Summer's hilarious post on the glory of the outcall. One of the things I love about Sarah is her ability to laugh at some of these situations. I think she is a saint, with some of the stuff that she puts up with from clients. I think she raises an important point when she says

when you have travelled thirty miles plus, and have to travel back the same mileage, you sometimes go through with it rather than cut your losses and retain your dignity.

It reminds me of the time I went on an outcall ,which I discussed in the risks that clients who see escorts take and getting caught in the act post.

I remember going to see a client in his home, and as he opened the door I started sneezing. I am sensitive to dust, and his place had obviously not been cleaned in months. I sat down on the sofa, and started sneezing again. At this point, I was thinking there was no way that anything would take place. I spoke to him for a while, and my assessment of him was that he had severe and enduring mental health issues. This was not something that came across on the phone. I left, only to discover that two of my escort friends, who worked for escort agencies in London, had been to see him that day. He had chased them down the road.They had both mentioned this client, when we had coffee that evening. I came away from his house itching, and threw away everything that I wore.

I have only been stopped once at a hotel, since I have been escorting. It was a hotel on the Strand. I went to an outcall at about 3am. I tend not to go on late night outcalls these days, unless prearranged. Anyway, as I walked into the hotel, I had a long coat on. The little man on reception starts hollering "Madam, madam". I ignored him, walked straight to the lift, and saw my client. Two hours later, I came down to the lobby, and smiled and winked at the little man on my way out.

I have an Arab escort friend who has been asked to produce her passport,at some hotels on Park Lane, in London. I am surprised as she was taken to Arabia by some prince to live in a harem for a number of years. When these princes come to London for their holidays, she lives in these hotels for months, until they leave. The staff know her, so I don't understand it.

She has no problem showing her identity, I have never been asked for my passport at a hotel. The thing is, that I don't walk around with my passport in my bag, unless I am taking a flight. I am aware that there are some hotels that have this policy on Park Lane.

I used to have regular outcalls at a particular hotel on Park Lane, always after midnight. Whenever I walked in, I always bumped into a cleaner hoovering the carpet. I felt really awkward as she must have figured out what was going on. Such is life.

I heard of a case where the concierge at a hotel in Knightsbridge, literally runs down the corridor after escorts who come into the hotel, harassing them.

Fortunately, I don't have problems with hotel outcalls, as a Black escort in London.

Punters who say they are not punters but visit escorts

2008-08-22T21:41:00.000+01:00

I have seen a number of clients who have told me they are not punters(an escort's client).

Interesting, as they have come to see me,pay me, and I am an escort.

However, I think what some of these men mean is that it is a one off experience. So in their eyes they are not punters, john's, hobbyists, or clients.

What I find hilarious is the men who say they are not punters, but visit escorts regularly.

What is their definition of punters?

Is this some form of denial?

I feel some people need to maintain a self-concept that enables them to do this, without feeling guilty or ashamed.

I feel it is the same when some women protest on messageboards, and say they are not Working girls, or prostitutes.

As Peridot Ash says in her post on Sex addiction is not a hobby , their delusion is good business for me.

I think I put my foot in it with one of my regulars

2008-08-15T21:10:00.000+01:00

I was just reading Chevalier's post on prying, and it reminded me of something that happened recently with one of my regulars.

I am open with some of my clients, if I feel comfortable. I have a dinner date with one of my regular clients whenever he is in London.

I have mentioned here about how unsettled I feel about situations with clients that would be too close too comfort.

Most of my regular clients know more about me than my other clients, it is inevitable. Something happened recently with a regular client, that taught me a lesson, but was not something that I could have predicted.

We were catching up on what we both had been up to since we last met. X works all over the world, and has several homes in various countries. An ex partner of mine, used to live in one of the cities that X has a home in, and is in the same profession. I had never mentioned this to X before, but did at our last date. He asked me what my ex partner's name was, and I told him. I watched his face turn a dark shade of red, and then he nervously said that it was a small world. Clearly, he was very uncomfortable with this information, but I had no idea he would know my ex, when I told him.

I think I have lost him. His body language spoke volumes. He was one of my first clients, and I have seen him consistently since I started. I wonder whether I should have been open with him.

Such is life, I guess.

If it feels too close for comfort, it is time to call it a day.

Escorts, timewasters,emails, and phonecalls

2008-08-08T00:18:00.001+01:00

I have mentioned how I thin slice to avoid timewasters here. These days as I go through my emails, I can tell in a few seconds which emails are timewasters, and hit the delete button. Clearly some of these people have not read my website, as if they had they would realise I am not suitable for their requests.

In a few cases where I have decided to give some people a chance, they have proved to be timewasters. So I stick to my rules, and when certain keywords or phrases are used via email or on the phone, I switch off.

Here are some samples of timewaster emails that I have received.

Subject:Meeting

Dear Nia,
Hi. Had a look at yr web site, you are gorgeus....., I am visiting london by 9th of Aug, can we be bed partners for few hours. I will be near Heathrow. And what services you provide. I prefer everything "WO" but what do you?. And of course yr charges for pleasure will be how much, its going to be hotel visit.
Hoping for a favourable response.
Bye.

Subject:Hi

where u from how old r u how much

Subject:Enquiry

Hi Nia

I would like to make an appointment with you to come and see you for approximately 1-2 hours.I have a fantasy and I was hoping that you would be able to make it come true for me. I wish to be dominated by a beautiful young black lady just like yourself, as I believe black women are the most beautiful women in the world!Here are spome of the things I was hoping you do to me:Sit on my face Being told to lick your pussy Being told to lick your arsehole Have a dildo in my mouth so that you can pleasure yourself! Being told what to do for a couple of hours!! To be totally at your mercy!! Will you also do Watersports and Hardsports on my face?? I am aware that this is a specialist service I totally understand if you are not willing to provide this.I'm a 29 year old white guy who is looking for his life long fantasy to become true. Will you help me Nia??I look forward to hearing from you.

Subject:none

hi honey,

im 34 years old.im gonna stay in london.i was hoping for some exitment when i was there. You see i have this fantasy about having sex with a beautiful woman like yourself dressed in nice skirt,black silk stockings and high heels. My fantasy is to have sex in some public place like at the airport or maybe at a toilet in a restaurant, or maybe some other exiting place.Would it be possible for you to help me out. Im willing to pay very well please

Subject:Outcall request

Hi Nia,

We are 2 professional guys in our late forties coming to the UK next month from Canada. Staying at a 4*hotel near Heathrow and are looking for alittle R&R with a sexy lady. Would be outcall for 4 hoursfrom 6PM but will provide food and refreshments. Even we can't go on all the time! No holes barred and DP an important part of the sensual experience for us.Spit-end roasting too and we like CIM. We love experienced gals and you look the part. We are experienced and sensual guys and will want to make it fun for you too.So are you available those days? Does the proposal sound interesting?We hope so..

Subject:Fetish

Hi There

I am a submissive male with a fetish which i was hoping you could maybe help with.My dream is to have a dominant woman tie my arms behind my back, gag me, and then sit fullweight and fully clothed on my face (preferablyin pvc) and ignore me completely whilst she watches a movie. Then when the movie is finished just get up and leave me tied up and gagged inthe hotel room and go home.Is this something you would be happy doing, or is it a bit much? Iwould be happy to pay more than your standard fee if it is something you would consider?

Subject:Nia

Dra Nia, I am a huge fan of yours, I think you're beautiful and you have the most incredible body and although I'm yet to ever go with an escort, when I see your photos it really makes me want to pick up the phone! I think its incredibly sexy that you're an escort, I seriously do, a beautiful lady having that much sex, being desired by so many, guys queuing up to be with you and paying for your time.... there's something so erotic about it all. I don't know if you enjoy the job, I guess someday's are better than others, but if I was a girl I think it would be fun for the most part! How long do you think you'll stay doing escort work for, what are you plans when you stop? Whatever they are, I wish you well, I'm so tempted to call but I don't think I could go through with it, as much as your beauty tempts me, I wouldn't want to waste your time. I'd love to meet up outside of work to talk to you about your experiences at work, but I doubt that would be possible, but I'm fascinated about the stories you could tell. I'd also like to take your photo (not naked or weird!), just a regular portrait as I'm an artist and I think that I could capture some of the truth within you. If it was at all possible I would appreciate a bit of your time, nothing weird, just the opportunity to meet you and take your portrait. I find you fascinating, with my best wishes,

Peridot Ash has a post on clients who want freebies, and Bettina has a good post on how many times do clients try calling escorts before they give up.

Nia dark and lovely hung up on age

2008-08-07T12:21:00.000+01:00

I met a lovely man a few months ago. He is not a client, but definitely someone who I would like to see more of, and I know he is interested. The problem, is that he is younger than me. I have a hang up about dating men who are younger than me. I don't want to be a cradle snatcher, and feel uncomfortable with it.

The thing is, if I was to date someone younger than me, who didn't tell me his age, and looked older, I wouldn't have a problem with it. However, if I know how old he is beforehand, that spoils it.

I saw him yesterday, and asked him how old he was, and yes he is younger than me. He asked me how old I was, and I told him I was in my fifties. This is ridiculous, and I made the man laugh, because I still have a long way to go before I hit fifty. That was my way of putting him off, and I added that I was old enough to be his mother.He thought I was pulling his leg, but was not sure. He is still interested, but sadly it can never work, as I know how old he is.

When I see clients who are younger than me, I am not at ease, but do not turn them away. Funnily enough, 90% of the men who book me are older.

Somewhere in my mind, I have a construct that says that it is not acceptable to have relationships with men who are younger than me. However, I tend to attract a lot of younger men.

Am I an ageist?

Tag:Gratitude

2008-08-05T18:24:00.001+01:00

I have been tagged by Peridot Ash.

I have to write a post on my blog with a list of five things that I am grateful for. There are lots of things that I am grateful for, but I will stick to five, as that is the point of the game.

Then tag some other bloggers. Here is my list.

I am grateful that I have my mother and value the relationship that I have with her.

I am grateful that I was able to be by my friend's bedside as she passed over into the spirit world.

I am grateful for all the close friends that I have, who have stood by me through thick and thin.

I am grateful for my health.

I am grateful that I had access to a good education.

I tag Gillette,

Do I tell someone that I have a relationship with that I have been an escort

2008-08-04T03:25:00.001+01:00

Chevalier has a thought provoking post, on whether you need to tell a potential partner that you have been an escort or a client.

The issues for me, are similar to what I raised in between you, me and the bedpost.

In an ideal world, my response would be yes. However, in my relationships outside this industry, the majority of my partners have not been able to deal with any information, about men that I have dated before them. They start off wanting the information, but further down the road, are insecure about what I have told them. I then regret having been open and honest.

A case of the fragile male ego. Theoretically they can handle it, but not in practice.

I have no problem not knowing about their past, I am interested in the here and now.If they choose to tell me about their past, that is fine. However, I don't feel it is essential, in order for us to have a relationship. Sometimes, the information is shared, naturally.

Given that none of my friends or family know that I am an escort, it is highly unlikely that I will tell a potential partner that I have been an escort.

My take on it is, that if a potential partner has visited escorts before he met me, that is his business.

Do I need to know?

No.

I feel he does not need to know that I was an escort, as my experience is that most men I have had relationships with, cannot deal with the fact that I have slept with other men before them.

My policy in relationships, is that I don't need to know everything about my partner's past. I tend to deal with the here and now.

Some things are better left unsaid, and I am aware we all have skeletons in our closets.

That is how I operate.

Call me dishonest?

Ulysses

2008-08-02T19:02:00.001+01:00

Ulysses, first made contact in 2006, but we had difficulty finding space in our diaries. I knew he occasionally saw black escorts, or asian escorts. What I was aware of, was most of the escorts that he had seen were petite, young bimbos. Those of you that I have met, know that I have a medium build and a fat ass. So, I was intrigued when Ulysses made contact. I enjoyed the email exchanges leading up to our meeting, as this man definitely had a naughty sense of humour. He made it clear that he had varied tastes, so we set up a meeting.We finally met this year. It amazes me when clients still have escorts on their wishlists for years.

Ulysses, is a cross between Hugh Grant and Colin Firth. I opened the door, and looked into his sparkling blue eyes, and the glint in his eyes said it all. Sometimes words do not need to be spoken. This was one of those occasions where it was pure body talk and nothing else.

Stroking
Touching
Licking
Probing
Gentle Kissing
Giggling
Warmth
Deep and slow penetrative sex.

I realised when he left, that we had ran over, but there was something about his vibe that made me lose track of time. What a gentle, lovely man.

If only they knew why some escorts blog anonymously

2008-08-01T23:48:00.001+01:00

Peridot Ash has a great post on anonymous escort bloggers.

I have just read if only they knew, a must read for all clients by an anonymous escort blogger.

She is straight to the point, but clearly did not feel she could be open about her identity in her post. I can see why, having read Peridot's post about angry clients ,who have problems with what some escort bloggers write.

It reminds me of something I heard recently, from an escort friend in Spain ,where a client was so angry about something he read on an escort blog, he took his anger out on her. She is not a blogger, but an escort, and his anger was displaced.

The Plot thickens

2008-07-31T12:48:00.001+01:00

The drama queen that I mentioned in paying for the consequences ,is on a disciplinary. For those of you who may be confused about how I work, I work for more than one organisation. I offer my services to a number of organisations, so could be considered a bit like a tart.

Anyway, when drama queeen was called in for a disciplinary, by the powers that be, he hit the roof. He was furious that I had spoken to them.

Hellooooooo, that is my job.

Did the idiot really, really, really expect me to turn a blind eye to his bad practice?

He has been forced to change his ways, and there is a part of me that is angry that it has taken the disciplinary for him to do this.

I spoke to him several times before, and gave him an opportunity to do so, but he was headstrong, arrogant, and thought he could make a quick buck.

I was scheduled to meet him this week, but he cancelled our meeting last week, as he wants to avoid facing me. He will have to meet with me at some point.

There are a number of issues that I have with this idiot, and they are around integrity, and honesty, and I do not think that I want to work with him any longer. As I feel that I cannot trust him again.

I definitely need a holiday.

Swearing at work

2008-07-30T15:00:00.002+01:00

Swearing at work.
It has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their colleagues. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realise the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with colleagues. Therefore, a list of 13 New and Innovative 'TRY SAYING' phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.
1.
Try Saying:
I think you could do with more training
Instead Of:
You don't have a f***ing clue, do you?
2.
Try Saying:
She's an aggressive go-getter.
Instead Of:
She's a f***ing power-crazy b*tch
3.
Try Saying:
Perhaps I can work late
Instead Of:
And when the f*** do you expect me to do this?
4.
Try Saying:
I'm certain that isn't feasible
Instead Of:
F*** off a*se-hole
5.
Try Saying:
Really?
Instead Of:
Well f*** me backwards with a telegraph pole
6.
Try Saying:
Perhaps you should check with...
Instead Of:
Tell someone who gives a f***.
7.
Try Saying:
I wasn't involved in the project.
Instead Of:
Not my f***ing problem, mate.
8.
Try Saying:
That's interesting.
Instead Of:
What the f***?
9.
Try Saying:
I'm not sure this can be implemented within the given timescale.
Instead Of:
No f***ing chance mate.
10.
Try Saying:
It will be tight, but I'll try to schedule it in
Instead Of:
Why the f*** didn't you tell me that yesterday?
11.
Try Saying:
He's not familiar with the issues
Instead Of:
He's got his head up his f***ing a*se.
12.
Try Saying:
Excuse me, sir?
Instead Of:
Oi, f*** face.
13.
Try Saying:
Of course, I was only going to be at home anyway
Instead Of:
Yeah, who needs f***ing holidays anyway.
Thank You.

Hard times at work for Nia dark and Lovely

2008-07-29T22:01:00.000+01:00

I walked into work this morning, and as I headed to reception, I met the head of our region. I had never met her before, but she was photocopying my diary, and my colleague's diary. As soon as I walked into reception, she bombarded me with questions about my job. She wanted figures, and said that we were not value for money. She added that we were under threat, which did not come as a surprise, and that we would have to justify being there. We are being audited for the second time this year.

She has only been in post three months. My first impression of her was not favourable. The woman didn't even give me time to put my bag down, or have my morning cup of tea. She demanded that I submit a report, to be sent to her today, and scheduled a meeting for next month. My colleague started holiday yesterday, and I would have liked to talk things over with her, but as luck would have it I could not. I feel this bigwig was insensitive, and clearly wants to flex her muscles.

When my boss came in, I explained what had happened, and she said that I should have challenged her boss. She said that I needed to tell her to stop bullying me. I was amazed at her reaction. I am not likely to tell someone who I know has the power to axe my job, on a first meeting, to stop bullying me.

Then again, if we are all on the way out I probably have nothing to lose, right?

I feel that we are all going to lose our jobs pretty soon.Our boss has been dropping hints, for over a year now. However, whenever I ask her the question directly, she says we are fine until the next financial year. I have been made redundant before, and did not like the way I felt at the time. I have just spoken to a friend this evening, who knows someone who is being made redundant for the sixth time.

The atmosphere at work is tense. Restructuring and organisational change can create panic, fear and hostility, among staff. I have been hanging on, as I have been there for a while and want my redundancy package, and yet when I see jobs advertised, I worry about them passing me by. I have started applying for other jobs now, regardless.

The pressure is on.

I left work today with a headache, toothache, and knowing I need a holiday fast.

Contracting with clients

2008-07-29T00:09:00.002+01:00

I have just read Sarah's post on whether she is the vulnerable one. I agree with her,and can empathise with her.

When her client left their contract ended.

He was foolish enough to get caught.

Why is she being contacted after the fact?

Who was the person seeking her services in the first place?

Did she force him to see her?

She points out how important it is for men to cover their tracks when they see escorts.

If your wives, or girlfriends find out, do not drag us into it.

What the hell are we supposed to say after the fact, to your angry partners?

Sorry just doesn't cut it, in this instance.

It is your responsibility to make sure your family do not find out. If you are foolish enough to be caught deal with the consequences.

Dinner dates with escorts

2008-07-28T23:36:00.001+01:00

Most escorts offer a dinner date package. It is normally from three to four hours which includes private time. It can vary from one to two hours private time, within the four hours. Each escort has their own individual package. I offer dinner dates, and occasionally will come across a client, who does not expect me to charge him for the time we take, to have the meal. This was one of the problems that I had with X. He would say at the start of a dinner date that we were friends, and he didn't expect me to charge him.

X, is so not my idea of a friend.

When I first started escorting, and went on my first dinner date, my client shortchanged me. I had assumed he looked at my site, and knew my fee. Big mistake on my part. I learned my lesson. I don't like having to remind clients of my fees, but there are so many con artists about, it is important to make things clear from the start. He was over from the US, to check on his business in the UK. Well mannered, well dressed, gave me the impression that he was not the sort of man that would do such a thing. Furthermore he was in his late sixties, and I guess I thought a man of his age would know better.I was fooled by his appearance. Mistake number two.

I was pretty relaxed the whole evening, and this was one of the few occasions where I did not take my payment upfront. In fact I counted the fee the following day,the reason being that I thought there was no way a man in his late sixties, in his line of business, and staying in a five star boutique hotel would con me. Mistake number three.

By the time I realised what had happened, he was on a flight back to New York. I believe what he did was intentional ,and deliberate. I recognise that I had a responsibility to check the money in front of him, and challenge him. Furthermore, when he asked about the dinner date, I should have reminded him of my fee, and not assumed he had looked at my site.

Sometimes the only way in which some people can learn, is from their mistakes. Oh how I have changed since then.

As Emilie says I will work for money not food.

I paid for college has been added to my sidebar, pay her a visit.

Wise words on how to make a woman happy

2008-07-22T08:28:00.000+01:00

How to Make a Woman Happy

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:

1. a friend

2. a companion

3. a lover

4. a brother

5. a father

6. a master

7. a chef

8. an electrician

9. a carpenter

10. a plumber

11. a mechanic

12. a decorator

13. a stylist

14. a sexologist

15. a gynecologist

16. a psychologist

17. a pest exterminator

18. a psychiatrist

19. a healer

20. a good listener

21. an organizer

22. a good father

23. very clean

24. sympathetic

25. athletic

26. warm

27. attentive

28. gallant

29. intelligent

30. funny

31. creative

32. tender

33. strong

34. understanding

35. tolerant

36. prudent

37. ambitious

38. capable

39. courageous

40. determined

41. true

42. dependable

43. passionate

44. compassionateWITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly

46. love shopping

47. be honest

48. be very rich

49. not stress her out

50. not look at other girlsAND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself

52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself

53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:* birthdays* anniversaries* arrangements she makes

HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked

2. Bring food

My decision is final, always was, and always will be.

2008-07-20T19:38:00.002+01:00

I binned an escalating regular client in 2005. X fell in love with me, and started to make demands on me. He would call me several times a day, to the point where he was blocking other callers from getting through to me. Then there were the constant remarks on how he felt about me escorting,whenever we met.Then there was the whole problem of terminating bookings on time, as it was too distressing for him to leave. He always referred to me as his mistress, but we had never made any arrangement.

Does this man know what keeping a mistress involves?

Show me the money honey.

Then he did something that was out of line. So I binned him.

He could not accept that I had binned him, and continued to contact me via phone and email, for over a year regularly. I ignored the calls and emails. Then he slowed down, but continued to make contact at intervals, pleading with me to make contact with him.

I have had the discussion, about clients falling in love with escorts, with Sarah Summers and other escort friends.Sarah has clients falling in love with her all the time. One friend wants all her clients to fall in love with her, and is okay with it. It is too much of a headache for me. I feel that when a client falls in love with an escort, it is a sign that an escort has done her job well. When the client starts to feel that he is not a client, and that he is in that special category, then you know you have done your job well. It is amusing when a client really believes that you are in love with him, and just don't want to admit it.

I must not burst that bubble, right?

Going back to X, he called me today, but with a new number, so I took the call.I didn't put the phone down on him, and heard him out. Guess what, he wanted to know why I didn't take his calls.A bit of the selective memory thing going on here.

*Here we go again*

I repeated what I had said years ago, and kept the conversation brief. He emailed me earlier this year, under another address, wanting me to communicate with him. I ignored the email.

My policy when things get out of control, is to cease all communication. Sadly, some people take longer than others to get this message. Some people don't get it at all.

I have a high tolerance level, but that does not mean that I don't have limits. Those of you who know me, are aware that I am easygoing, lighthearted, and relaxed, but I have boundaries. When those boundaries are crossed, that is it.

Since his call this afternoon, he has sent me a text.

What a drag!

Update

He has just sent me an email titled silence and slow tears. The contents say that age cannot wither me, nor custom stale my infinite variety.

He is sorry that he has been banished but still wants to meet me as a punter.

Readers can you see what I have to contend with???

He has made contact three times today, and will continue, all over again.

Nia dark and lovely breathes a huge sigh of relief

2008-07-10T16:13:00.001+01:00

You know that I was feeling gutted and devastated yesterday. Well, after Mr Techie left yesterday, I had a splitting headache, and could not believe what happened. So I went onto google, to find out if anyone had been in a similar situation. Good old google.

I found a forum where someone could not find their harddrive on a laptop similar to mine, and it was attached to the floppy drive, but hidden behind it.

I have an aspect to my personality that sometimes will not give up, until I am certain, or find a solution. Unfortunately, that aspect of my personality does not kick in at all times.

I called Mr Techie last night,and told him what I had read on the forum. He did not believe me, and asked me to send him the link to the forum.He then sent me an email saying he would come back again today. He came round today, and lo and behold I was damn right. He was very embarassed and apologetic. There is something quite strange about me pointing out to a computer expert where the hard drive is, and being right about it.

I paid him again, as this is his job, and he is self employed. So in total he got six hours work out of me, and he is not cheap, but I got my data back.

Yup, I have it all back, fantastic!

I have saved everything on a memory stick already, I did it right away. I hope I can do this consistently.

Back up, back up, back up at all times.

Gutted, devastated, and in denial, it can only happen to me

2008-07-09T19:38:00.001+01:00

Two weeks ago my laptop crashed.The screen was black each time I turned it on. I had a techie come and look at it, and he said there was something wrong with the graphics card. He reassured me that I had not lost any data. He told me that repairing it, would cost more than getting a new laptop, so I was better off getting a new laptop. The plan was that he could transfer all my data onto a new laptop.

Well, today the techie came round, to retrieve my data. Whatever he planned to do was not working. The device that he was using kept flashing, and he could not understand what the complication was. So, he went to his car to get a different device, hoping it would do the trick. That would not work either. I was not surprised, those of you who know me well, will know nothing is ever simple in my life. I told him that he should have come expecting the worst possible scenario, because strange things happen around me.

Anyway, four hours later after dismantling my laptop, no hard drive could be found. Yes, unbelievable, I had no physical hard drive on my laptop. How I have used it these past few years, God only knows.The mind boggles. I had taken it in for repair four years ago, and that is the only time it has been out of my sight.

So, I have lost seven years of work, gone, disappeared, lost. Documents, publications from authors that were not released to the public, reports, notes,complaints, the whole caboodle.

How do I feel?

Numb, powerless, and from now on having to back up at every opportunity like a maniac.

They say computers are a good thing, but I want the old days back, when I can find my material. Hopefully, I have some hard copies of stuff somewhere, or I probably shredded it all, when computers came along.

Luck is not something that comes my way often, and the only person who can understand this is Sarah Summers, as our lives are similar.

Big thanks to Sarah and a special friend for all your support around this.

*heads off to weep about my seven years of lost data, wondering how I will start from scratch again*

Paying for the consequences

2008-07-01T23:10:00.001+01:00

I am going through a stressful period at work again. I have become the whistleblower. I am managing a staff member who has broken so many rules in the book, and has been involved in bad practice. The first time this was brought to my attention, I told him that he needed to change his ways, as there would be consequences. We met again, and he was angry with me, and told me that he was not going to follow my advice. I told him that was his choice, but there would be consequences. He has a cocky attitude, and has stuff on the internet, that is very misleading, and misrepresents the work that he does.

I have taken it to the top, as it is my responsibility to do so. I spoke to my mum about this, and she said, if he goes down, why should I go down (no pun intended) with him.

So, I wait to see what this drama queen will do when he is shown the door.The idiot cannot see the error of his ways. I can hear it now, I am the bitch that brought him down.

People come and go in the escort industry

2008-06-29T15:04:00.000+01:00

I have just discovered that Caitie Mae and Chere Juliette are no longer blogging. I have no idea when their blogs went down, as I have not had time to read other blogs for over a year. I have just had too much going on at work, and in my personal life.

In most cases when escort bloggers stop blogging, they have retired, or just don't want to blog anymore. Good luck to you Caitie Mae, and Chere Juliette ,whatever you are doing. I hope you are both okay.

Blogs that I miss are Memoirs of a whoremonger, Glengarry Leads and the Petulant Pooner.

In the meantime I will trawl through my archives, and tidy up posts that linked to these bloggers. I know how annoying it can be reading a post, clicking into a link, and discovering it doesn't exist. Give me time people, it will get done.

Seances, table rapping and knocking shops

2008-06-03T18:08:00.001+01:00

Matt Salusbury talks to Kittie Klaw about Victorian values and her interest in parapsychology.

They look at the similarities between Victorian music halls and seances.

The post adds a whole new meaning to table rapping.

Music and associations with clients

2008-05-19T16:50:00.002+01:00

Beau sent me this lovely pic, which is so appropriate for this blog. Thanks Beau.

I was sitting in a cafe today, and a track came on by Santana. Whenever I hear that track, I can't stop thinking about Jacques. The track was something we always danced to ,whenever I saw him. I binned him, a while ago, but wonder how he is whenever I hear the track.

Dark Temptress has been added to my sidebar, pay her a visit. Have a good week.

Some requests from clients

2008-05-07T22:38:00.001+01:00

A year ago a client called me up, and asked whether he could film me during the booking. I told him that was not possible. The same man calls me every two weeks since he made the request, leaving various messages.

The pest thinks I will see him, dream on.

Today I get an email from someone asking me whether he can take photos of me during the booking.

Hellooooooooooooooo!

I don't show my face on my site, so he thinks he can come and see me and I will say feel free to take all the pics you want.

Sarah Summers has a great post on how escorts are not social workers are we, I agree with her when she says some men think we are stupid. I have also had emails where clients who have not met me, say they just want to come see me, talk, nothing else, for no charge.

Things will start to get complicated if I have to check potential clients for cameras before a booking.

Check that they have not stolen my knickers.

Clients who arrive and say they have to go to the cashpoint after the booking as they had no time to get the money. I send them back anyway as my rule is payment upfront. Anyone who does not respect my T&C's is shown the door. This is rare, and has happened twice in three years. The majority of my clients know the rules, and respect them.

Check that they have not taken Viagra and recreational drugs together.

When things get complicated for me it isn't fun.

Mad boss strikes again

2008-05-07T22:04:00.002+01:00

I picked up a nasty voicemail from mad boss this afternoon. She was questioning a number of decisions I had made. I have some responsibilities, and she made it clear that I didn't need her consent, to make those decisions when I joined the organisation. She claimed that I had not filled in several monthly reports with specific information. This is rubbish, and before I responded to her, I checked my copies on my computer, and realised that I had sent them to her. I found that I had manual copies too, and dates when I had sent them in.

Remember what goes around comes around. I left her a voicemail stating that I didn't know what she was talking about, as I had sent her the reports with the information that she needed months ago. I also sent her an email, saying that I would speak to her tomorrow.

I work off site, and fortunately only have to see her once a quarter for a three hour meeting. I then decided to call her at home, to discuss this with her. I told her that she had the information in the office, and knew I sent it to her, and was willing to send the documents via email.

Do you think the cow had the decency to apologise?

I asked her whether she wanted me to check out issues with her before I made decisions, and she claimed that was not necessary, but she had concerns about some staff. I asked her what the rules were , and she claimed that she didn't want to make any hard and fast rules. She would leave it to me.

Do you get the picture?

On this occasion, I didn't lose my cool with her, as the sun was shining today, and the weather was great, and I am feeling pretty mellow.

I console myself with the knowledge that all of my colleagues think she is unprofessional, and bonkers.

Deborah Palfrey hangs herself

2008-05-02T17:26:00.001+01:00

Deborah Palfrey the DC madam, was found dead yesterday in a storage shed next to her mother's home. I think this is sad, she took her life as she didn't want to go to jail. She clearly was under a lot of stress, and some people in DC must have slept well last night, knowing that they will not be named and shamed

Update

Lili and Chere Juliette have both been added to my sidebar. Pay them a visit.

Have a good weekend.

RIP

2008-04-27T22:41:00.002+01:00

I got a phone call from a friend at midday today, telling me that a mutual friend had been taken ill abroad. He had gone travelling for a few months, developed an illness, his lungs collapsed, and had a heart attack yesterday. My friend P was in his mid forties.

I have just had a call telling me that he has just died. I can't believe it.

Sending you my love and thoughts P, it was great knowing you. You gave sunshine to a lot of people. I will never forget you. You always brought a smile to my face, and I wish you well on your journey.

God Bless.

xx

Lunch with Beau

2008-04-24T16:00:00.002+01:00

I have just come back from lunch with Beau.

He had asked me to guess what his handle was on the Punternet Messageboard, and I guessed it right away from his writing style, so he promised to buy me lunch when he was next in London.

As I mentioned here Beau and I have a unique relationship,as I have never been in this situation with any of my clients. He was a client, and we both decided because of our friendship not to have sex together. As we both normally would not sleep with our friends. The friendship that I have with Beau has evolved, and we are able to share our feelings about life, our families, friends, backgrounds and all that stuff, and we are in contact several times a week. He is such a warm, kind, compassionate, sensitive man.

I never took Beau's blog seriously, and thought that he wrote it for fun, and didn't believe for a minute that he was interested in BDSM. There was no hint of it in our meeting, and he never discussed it, and then I saw his blog, but thought it was fun. That was until Beau started to recount some salacious stories, that got me thinking . I realised that he was serious. BDSM is not my thing at all, I am as vanilla as you can get, and Beau loves to wind me up about this, which is funny. I refer to him as Master Beau, and he refers to me as Vaniaa. He has educated me, and I have more insight into his fetish.

We met for lunch, but Beau wanted to take me to Waterstones to show me a book before lunch. You all know I cannot go into a bookshop without buying a book. I had no idea what Beau wanted to show me . Surprise surprise, a BDSM book that had been banned in the sixties.

We had a great lunch, with the people on both sides of our table leaning back to listen to Beau's salacious stories. Thanks for lunch and the chocolates Beau.

Neighbours

2008-04-18T19:36:00.000+01:00

I have just discovered that my neighbours are moving out, they need a bigger property for their kids. They are great. I can only think of two occasions in eight years, when I had to tell them to keep the noise down. I can remember when I moved in, M(my neighbour) would knock on my door as I came in from work, and offer me dinner. I was shocked, but touched. I can cook for myself, and those of you who know me, know that I am well fed. My fat ass says it all, but I guess M didn't think so.

She was concerned, as I was single and had been working. She did this for a week, until I told her it was not necessary. They are from the Middle East, and it is part of their culture. I have met their parents, cousins, extended family you name it. They have met my family and friends too. They helped me out, when ex stalker boyfriend tried to break my door down, very embarassing. M's husband would tell me to leave my rubbish out, so that he could take it out to the bins for me. He told me that he was like my brother, and that if I ever needed anything I should say so.

I felt safe knowing they were next door.

I am sad to see them go, and am worried that I may have to live with noisy neighbours again. I don't know how I will cope if this is the case. My home is my sanctuary.

Have a great weekend.

Between me, you and the bedpost a selling point in the Escort industry

2008-04-07T16:50:00.002+01:00

I read this article in the Guardian last week, that raises some interesting points about why some people are interested in how many partners we have slept with.

I had a few ex partners who asked me this question, before I became an escort. I told them the truth, and wish I hadn't. As they all expected the number to be two or less. The study in the article shows that lots of people lie when asked this question. Interesting that some of the respondents in the survey didn't mind being asked the question, but were not prepared to answer it.

I can draw a parallel in the escort industry with clients who want to know how many clients an escort has in a given day. My view on this is, they are trying to establish whether the escort is a conveyor belt.

Some escorts go to great pains to advertise that they only see one client a day. I think that this can be seen as a good marketing strategy. Some clients believe them.

*coughs*

The reality is ,that there are a number of escorts out there who claim to see one client a day, to their clients, but the reality is different when they discuss this among escort friends. They tell their clients what they want to hear.

I find the question offensive, as I believe the only person who has the right to ask me that question is a pimp or escort agency manager.

A friend of mine runs an escort agency, and gave one of her girls a booking. The escort rang the client to say that she was running late. The client asked her why, and she told him that she was coming from another booking. The client cancelled the booking. My friend flipped. She told the escort never to tell clients that she had just come from a booking.

I am not suggesting that there are not escorts out there who only see one client a day, however I believe they are in a minority.

Some clients care, and some don't who tend to be realistic, in my view.

I guess it is all part of the fantasy, that some want an escort to be exclusive. Whatever exclusive means in the escort industry.

*coughs*

Widow sues escorts over husband's death

2008-04-04T15:46:00.001+01:00

A widow whose husband had a heart attack during sex with two prostitutes is suing the women for £1.1million.
The wealthy businessman, 38, had paid £2,000 for a kinky Christmas treat at a brothel.
He asked for electric shocks from a sex toy and the bill included ecstasy tablets and three bottles of champagne.

This is one of my worst fears. A client dying on me. I have some clients who take Viagra, and have heart conditions. I also have seen clients who mix Viagra with Cocaine, and it worries me.

If a client were to die on me, what happens to confidentiality?

Who would he like me to call in an emergency?

Is this a question that I need to ask all my clients at the start of a booking?

It is a tricky situation.

Reading this article takes it to another level altogether,as the widow is blaming the escorts for the husband's death.

Who is responsible?

Maybe I need to take a medical history from some of my clients, as I don't want my ass sued.

Have a good weekend.

Six words

2008-03-31T18:18:00.001+01:00

I have been tagged by Chevalier.

The Rules :

1.Write your own six word memoir
2.Post it on your blog and include a visual illustration if you’d like
3.Link to the person that tagged you in your post.
4.Tag five more blogs with links .
5.And don’t forget to leave a comment on the tagged blogs with an invitation to play .

Okay, here goes my six word memoir:

Unpredictable, loyal, warm, honest,relaxed, gentle, dreamer.

I have to find five bloggers that have not been tagged yet.

Sarah Summers

Beau

Chiara di Notte

Compartments

Mandy

Mercurial Girl

Have a good week.

Sex workers in Perth given a manual on the safest way to work

2008-03-27T22:19:00.002Z

Sexworkers in Perth will be given a guide on the safest way to work and how to run a brothel.

Some examples of the guidelines are:

Sex workers do not work for more than twelve hours.

They have regular health checks.

How to deal with difficult clients.

How to put on condoms properly.

Beds that provide back support.

I think this guide is a good idea as I believe there are a fair number of women who come into the industry with no clue whatsoever. I know when I started, I made a few friends who showed me the ropes.

Easter weekend meeting Sarah Summers

2008-03-24T21:09:00.001Z

I met Sarah Summers yesterday, as she was passing through London for a few hours. We last saw each other eight months ago. Yesterday was brief but well worth it. Sarah is one of the few escort friends that I have.

Sarah is one of the kindest escorts that I have ever come across, who never fails to make me laugh. We had so much catching up to do, exchanged bad client lists, and shared some of the difficult stuff we have gone through as escorts, since we last met.

One of the themes of the discussion yesterday was the illusion of passion in the escort industry, and regular clients a mixed blessing .

Sarah and I have got ourselves into pickles over the years, with clients. I recognise that it is inevitable in this industry.One of the things that I love about Sarah, is that we can laugh about stuff, that is challenging, and are able to support each other.

I have just got back from the supermarket. A man came up to me, as I was shopping and asked me whether I wanted a massage. I thought he was weird, and wondered why he had approached me, as I was in grunge mode. He had no name label on his clothing, and I could not figure out why he had asked me whether I wanted a massage. It turns out he was working in the supermarket, and was offering a shiatsu walk in back, neck and shoulder massage. It was my lucky day I guess, as he offered me a free trial, which I accepted. The last massage I had a few weeks ago, had sex tagged onto it. I am not complaining.

So he placed his hands on my neck, and my body went into relax mode. I just love massages. After the free trial, he offered me a paid session which I took up, and gave him a tip which surprised him.It felt weird having a massage from a man, and not having sex attached to it.

What has my life become?

Hope you had a good easter, and have a good week.

Eliot Spitzer resigns and joins sex scandals rogue gallery

2008-03-13T22:57:00.002Z

Another American politician named and shamed for visiting prostitutes.

Eliot Spitzer is fighting to avoid charges after his resignation.

Investigators were already probing thousands of dollars in checks that Spitzer wrote to QAT, the paper reported, citing sources it did not identify. Schwartz was deported to Brazil last night, the Post said.
Authorities also will examine Spitzer's bank, credit-card and other records dating to 1999, an inquiry that could take months, the Post reported, citing a law-enforcement source.
Spitzer may be open to charges that he violated the Mann Act, which makes it a crime to transport someone across state lines for prostitution, lawyers said.
He could also be charged with wire fraud, if he made false statements about the source or destination of his funds; structuring, if he made payments to avoid U.S. requirements on reporting cash transactions of more than $10,000; or money laundering, if he knew the ring was using front companies to move money illegally, the lawyers said.

David Segal blames Spitzer's behaviour on the primal brain of homo politicus.

New York's got nothing on Tehran.
The day after New York Gov. Eliot Spitzer's announced resignation for involvement in a prostitution ring, comes word that the police chief in Tehran -- yes, Iran -- has resigned following his arrest, naked, in the company of six nude prostitutes in a brothel, overseas wires are reporting.

Yvonne Fulbright, makes some interesting points on Power and Prostitutes: Why Powerful Men Can't Help Themselves.

The story emerging around the fall of Eliot Spitzer suggests that the case did not start with the report of a crime. Rather it started with a decision to look into Spitzer and his financial dealings. In the course of an open-ended investigation, information about a prostitution circle surfaced. That looks abusive. An investigation like that provides no basis to acquit Spitzer. But it suggests that when his case is done, the public should be pressing some tough questions about why this investigation was launched and pushed forward.

Specifically, the official narrative suggests that a Long Island bank noticed an odd pattern of payments made by Spitzer between different accounts. The payments were not enormous sums and the bank is said to have been concerned that a large number of transfers were made so as to fall below the $10,000 reporting threshold. The Los Angeles Times reported that Spitzer asked that his name be taken off the money wires, which reportedly aroused suspicion. The bank submitted a Suspicious Activity Report (SAR) to the IRS. The payments which totaled up to $80,000, looked suspicious, we are told, and were examined on the basis that they might be an effort to money-launder bribes. This was reported to the IRS in Hauppauge, Long Island, which in turn involved the Public Integrity Section in the Department of Justice.

Two more questions should be asked about the prosecution. The first is whether a selective attitude is taken in prosecution - that is, whether the Justice Department is treating Spitzer in a manner consistent with other (notably Republican) figures caught in a similarly compromised position. The second is how the matter was broken to the press. On each of these points, the information now available raises unsettling issues about the conduct of the Justice Department. One close parallel involving a prostitution investigation is the case of the "D.C. Madam." In that case, federal prosecutors have proceeded against the prostitution ring and have shown little interest in the customer list, which is said to include a former high-ranking Bush Administration official (Randall Tobias, director of the U.S. Agency for International Development) and a U.S. Senator (David Vitter, Republican of Louisiana). The prosecutors' conduct in the "D.C. Madam" case has been remarkably deferential to the public figures involved. That case cannot be squared with the investigation into Governor Spitzer - it points to a double standard.

More from the sex scandals rogue gallery:David Vitter paying the price of hypocrisy.

Randall Tobias and the long arm of justice.

Why should the Duke be any different.

Nia dark and lovely away

2008-03-07T12:21:00.001Z

I will be out of touch from Saturday till Tuesday midday. I will not have access to my emails, and my phone will be off.

I am going away with Roger for a few days.

Packed all my high heels
Got all my corsets out of the attic.
Taking all the black clothing that I possess, as requested.
Have a sufficient supply of condoms
Hope I don't poke his eyes out with my killer heels, as he likes them on 24/7.
Going to be fun sleeping with them on
Feel like this is going to be a blast with all this dressing up.

I am looking forward to seeing him again, and having loads of time to chat, yes chat, among other things. Roger and I can talk and talk and talk, but he knows how to use his pipe.

I have discovered some stuff that I didn't know I owned packing for this trip. Venturing into the attic has been useful.

Must dash have to get into Goth mode, and need to get a manicure and pedicure.

Have a great weekend.

Walk and talk accidents

2008-03-05T22:45:00.001Z

I was in the gym this morning, and was suprised to hear about the number of accidents that happen as a result of people sending text messages. Most of the accidents are people walking into lamposts or bollards, or car accidents while they are sending texts.

A friend of mine has been in three car accidents, and in each case it was women on the phone, who drove into him. I find this alarming.

I left the gym this morning, and was on my way home, and a client sent me a text confirming a booking. I was crossing the road, did not look left or right, and clearly had not taken in what I had heard on the radio. A car screeched in front of me, and I was embarassed.

I have read some stuff on forums where clients go and see escorts, and the client is mid stroke, while the escort takes a phone call.

These women have bottle is all I can say. How they can have a conversation with someone else while they are having sex, and feel that it is acceptable is interesting.