Monday, October 20, 2008

What sort of men visit escorts?

I was challenged by Beau last year in my too close for comfort post, when I stated that I didn't think that men who worked in my profession visited escorts or prostitutes.

His response to me was:

What kind of men did you once think were typical clients Nia?

Was it just this client who changed your mind?

What kind of men do you now think are typical clients?

What has this done to change your opinion of men?

I assume for the worst?

Though it is okay for a woman in the same profession to be an escort?

I'm genuinely not having a go - just trying to follow the thoughts ....Is it a sociological view you had?

It just gets close to a moral view - that it is only a certain kind of man who buys sex, which is so close to the view that only a certain kind of woman sells sex.

Beau has a point.

Do I think there is a type of man who visits escorts?

Well, no is the short answer. I thought at one time, that some men who worked in certain professions would not, but I have been proved wrong, with some of these men crossing my front doorstep.

When I started escorting, I assumed men who visited escorts were all sad and lonely. That is not the case, in my experience.

Louis Bernieres has an interesting article, which I came across called I am not the man who visits prostitutes.

He mentions a man who is disgusted by a bin full of milky condoms, when he went to see a prostitute, and has never visited a prostitute since. This issue is raised by some punters on messageboards and in reviews.

I can understand how a client may feel about this, and yet I am fascinated by other clients who go to brothels or parlours, and sit in waiting rooms with other men, waiting to see a girl. I am also fascinated by the men who before all the STD scares, wanted to visit women who had not washed in between clients, and who used to offer bareback.

The husband's description in the article of his wife is very depressing. I can understand why he would want to visit a prostitute, based on his description of his wife. However it would have been useful to hear her description of her marriage.

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Not all wives turn into a great big loaf of bread sitting in front of the fire, knitting. Not all wives become like the one described, and not all wives turn into your sister either.

Marriage is a two way thing. What an easy cop out for a husband who has done his own thing all throughout the marriage, and expects what? ..his wife to still be that starstruck young lovely he married?

You have to work at a marriage, and I think there has to be a pecking order. of course the wife is at the top, but if she is a clever girl, she will defer to her husband and make him feel like a king.

A good example of this was the marriage between Margaret and Dennis thatcher. Forget the rest, but their relationship was like a tonic.

..I digress. Seeing prostitutes is a cop out for the husband who has not worked at his marriage, or cherished his wife.. :0)
You are right Sarah that marriage is something one has to work at - that both partners must do.

Though your description of the "pecking order" might be one of the reasons husbands stray when they work it out!

So seeing prostitutes is a "cop out"? Well perhaps you are right ... but there are those of us who have tried.

Perhaps eventually in life it is as a feeling of mortality creeps around ones shoulders that the thought starts to niggle away ... "is this all there is?"

B xxxx
Perhaps I was a tad harsh Beau! Just put it down to some of the clients I have been seeing of late :)
Sarah! I do not think that wives should defer to men! Of course, I have realized by now that the male ego is very fragile, and that a woman would probably get ahead more quickly, and have an easier life, if she "deferred", but I have never been interested in making a man believe that he has more power than me, whereas I'm the one who really wears the trousers in reality. Fuck that! I want my man to see my power and respect that. It's very hard to find a man like that, but, you know what, I'd much rather be alone than have a man I had to "defer" to.

As regards "the kind of men who see escorts", I would say that it probably depends very much on where you are living in the world. I, personally, have too many spoiled, rich Republican types and I hate this. A lot of them seem to feel "entitled" to their bit of extra-marital fun. I actually quite like the "sad and lonely" types because I feel that I am actually providing a service for them. It must be really hard for, say, a fifty-year-old divorced software engineer to meet woman (and then be able to get a shag, too) so who can blame them if they get an erotic masssage occasionally?!
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